“They lived happily ever after…” happens only in fairy tales. In life, everything is not so cloudless, and if we do not want to part with a loved one, we must seek compromises and avoid sharp corners. What destroys relationships?
Most likely, you do not have such a goal. You value and love your partner. You need to be aware of the risks that can destroy wonderful feelings. Disagreements happen to everyone, most often six reasons lead to a break.
1. Jealousy or betrayal. Be clear from the start that this is not acceptable. If you are jealous of friends and hobbies, or you yourself are jealous, show possessive manners, you put a time bomb under the relationship. For a while, you can ignore it, hide it, indulge in explanations, endure, cry, put up and forgive, but one day everything will end in disaster.
2. Trust issues. A reason can be found anywhere: to stand over the soul of a child and make sure that he brushes his teeth well, to go a thousand kilometers and torment himself whether everything is in order at home.
Do not cut out those who are dear to you, just because your views do not coincide. Learn to be patient and respectful
Trust issues arise out of the blue, because of this, conflicts, suffering and resentment arise. This is easily avoided by talking to each other. Sometimes a therapist or dispute resolution specialist can help.
3. Mismatch of views. They say opposites attract. But when the contradictions are irreconcilable (different worldviews, political and religious beliefs), it is quite difficult to stay together. Any quarrel can end in failure. You should not cut out those who are dear from your life, just because your views do not coincide. Learn patience and respect. Try to find a compromise. Who knows, suddenly the example of your couple will become another confirmation of the old truth?
4. Unbalanced relationships. This happens when partners stop appreciating each other, each decides for himself and does not care what the other thinks about this. Chaos ensues in relationships, if nothing is done, a break is inevitable. In such cases, conversations also help, it is best to start with “I-statements”: “I feel …”, “It seems to me …”, rather than accusations.
5. Communication difficulties. Sometimes it seems that the partners communicate in different languages, it is so difficult for them to hear each other. There is also body language, gestures, looks, and other ways of communicating.
Special words, expressive facial expressions, eloquent glances defuse the situation
Most of the time, humor helps. If you don’t like how your partner behaves, try to respond with a joke. When you are ignored or not listened to, it is worth considering whether it is time to see a psychotherapist. Special words, expressive facial expressions, eloquent glances defuse the situation – it’s funny, sincere and personal. The main thing is that both understand these signals.
6. Violence. There is nothing more destructive, this is the only item on the list where there can be no reconciliation and compromise. You can not forgive someone who insults or beats. When the kids come along, things get even worse. Nobody deserves this, if this happens, call friends, relatives, a therapist, the police for help, do not agree to endure.
Source: iheartintelligence.com