Contents
Hello, dear readers of the site! Today we will consider what mental pain is, for what reasons it arises, and, most importantly, how to get rid of it.
Because there is a small percentage of people in the world who love to suffer, basically humanity strives to be happy, or at least devoid of difficult experiences.
What is it like?
It can be acute, chronic, aching and burning. In general, as well as physical, which also arises as a result of the destruction of the boundaries between the environment and the organism itself.
That is, in order to experience discomfort on a physical level, it is enough to crash into a wall, hit the little finger on the corner of the table, or not calculate the strength when peeling potatoes and get hurt with a knife.
With mental pain, things are almost the same, only the cause of the occurrence is the loss of something significant, familiar.
The injury, as it were, is not visible at first glance, as in the case of a fracture, for example, of a leg, but it is felt on a different level.
It can be the death of a loved one, a pet, a breakup with a friend or someone very close, even the growing up of a child and the realization that he is going to leave the family nest and live separately.
Also, a change of residence, work, the loss of what has always been a pleasure and helped to recover. Treason, lies, injustice, disappointment in others, in one’s own abilities …
In general, the cause of emotional experiences is everything that has brought changes to a person’s life. And the more significant that “old” was, the more intense the feelings.
Basically, it depends on this intensity how soon the soul will recover, and what consequences of the loss will make themselves felt.
Often, the experience of acute pain, especially if you do not give vent to feelings, trying to keep them inside, ends in serious health problems and depression with suicidal tendencies.
What else happens?
It happens that psychic pain affects existential experiences. A person faces loneliness face to face and thinks about his place in this world, purpose and, in general, the meaning of existence.
He tries to understand his attitude to death, in addition to fear and horror from the unknown. All this makes him look for ways to help stop feeling, distract from obsessive, depressive thoughts.
And then there is the risk of falling into a trap. When, in an attempt to escape from reality, he begins to use alcohol, drugs, is fond of gambling, becomes addicted to a computer, and so on.
This helps at first, but at one moment it ceases to act and the discomfort returns again, only with the most serious consequences.
And it happens that it becomes chronic, accompanying its owner for a long time. Have you ever bought shoes that don’t fit your size?
And wear it, gradually rubbing your legs until such calluses form that even walking barefoot causes discomfort?
Here, in the same way, you can, for example, marry a person next to whom it is not very good. And periodically get hurt about him, endure violence or indifference. Then the soul literally aches, suffering every minute.
By the way, each of us has a certain limit, so to speak, the threshold of pain tolerance.
It is formed in childhood, if the adults who took care of the child, satisfied his basic needs, emotionally included, then he then has where to draw resources to cope with stress.
Mental weakness occurs when the baby had no support behind his back, which is why, if problems arise, he will suffer, not knowing what to do next.
What helps?
Protection
It’s hard to believe, but mental pain is beneficial, it’s only important to listen to your feelings and understand why it was given to you and what it can teach you.
For example, it performs a protective function. As if warning of possible destruction.
When you accidentally touch a hot pot, you instinctively pull your hand away before you even have time to think about what happened and why. If you linger even for a second, then as a result you get a burn.
And in a relationship, having heard an insult addressed to him from a loved one, he will move away from him a little — a completely instinctive, natural reaction.
And if you pay attention to her, you can realize that next to him is not so good. And if you choose to stay on, then this means dooming yourself to suffering.
Then the experiences become a marker that someday it will end and it is these relationships that will be terminated due to the injustice of the aggression shown.
If you choose another option — to stay, then you have to endure and reconcile. In an analogy, put your hand on a saucepan, about which you didn’t want to get burned and endure discomfort for the sake of lofty goals, and then treat the blisters.
Awareness
Unfortunately, a person is not always able to appreciate and protect what he loves. Often he does not even notice how important something in his life is. Until he loses.
So, mental pain is such a litmus test, by which you can easily determine the importance of some events, people, and so on.
She is also a constant companion of change. People at the time of the crisis suffer a lot, some can not stand it and commit suicide.
But it is impossible to get the new without getting rid of the old. How to fulfill your needs without wanting to move.
Let’s take marriage. You can experience anxiety, sadness, irritation, sadness, disappointment and other unpleasant feelings every second, but of low intensity and remain in it, afraid to take a step towards the unknown.
Or you can decide and terminate it, faced with severe pain, but get a chance to be happy with another partner when emotions subside. This does not mean that the choice should always be made in favor of divorce.
Each situation is individual and requires a specific approach. The point is that crises in our lives are inevitable and, despite the discomfort, they actually give us the opportunity to change our lives for the better.
Those who do not cope with them face a new problem — intrapersonal conflicts. But you can learn more about them here.
Basic ways to avoid
It is not surprising that people tend to forget, looking for ways to cope with mental anguish.
But, it often happens that, defending themselves from unpleasant feelings, they deprive themselves of the opportunity to breathe deeply, feeling joy and carelessness, lightness.
The psyche uses completely unconstructive methods of getting rid of anxiety. They are called psychological defense mechanisms. They were invented by nature to bring us good, to keep us healthy.
Only sometimes it turns out that, having gone too far with this protection, we end up with even more suffering and difficulties.
Devices
The most common are avoidance and devaluation. About what other mechanisms of psychological protection exist, you will learn from the article devoted directly to this topic.
Now let’s look at those that help relieve suffering.
- Depreciation. In order not to be so bad, it’s easier to take it and decide that, in fact, the person you had to part with, the job you were fired from, and so on, was not really needed.
- avoidance. Having got out of a destructive relationship, it is easier to consider all women, for example, stupid, materialistic and stop letting them close. Or, realizing how much anxiety and anxiety the birth of a child will bring, abandon this venture and join the childfree movement. By the way, animals that have been abused usually react this way. They are afraid to approach a person in the future, even if he reaches out his hand to stroke. That is, they are ready to give up pleasure, just not to get into a situation that was in the past and brought injury.
- Transference or projection. A person, as if not recognizing the presence of pain in himself, projects it onto other people, animals. Why does he feel for them what he would like to receive. For example, he develops a violent activity, trying to help someone and ignoring his own fatigue, limited resources. Feel sorry for everyone around, forgetting to take time for yourself.
Why should you go to the experts for help?
I would like to remind you that any pain will end sooner or later. Even if it seems that removing it will never work. And although the phrase: “Time heals” can sometimes be annoying, it never loses its relevance. Because day always comes after night.
You can simply speed up the recovery process by contacting specialists. When the body is sick, a person goes to the doctors. This is, of course, when he is interested in living a fulfilling life.
If not, then ignores the disease, consumes alcohol, so as not to worry too much about its presence. But this option is not for us. So, when the soul hurts, contact psychologists and psychotherapists.
You can use them to discover the true causes of painful experiences. Accordingly, you will understand how to deal with them for sure, transform your defense mechanisms from destructive to constructive.
And, importantly, get support, talk out, cry out if necessary, and just feel the presence of another person nearby. Quality, not when they listen to you half an ear, thinking about their own and dreaming when you shut up.
By the way, if it’s not good at all, you should also consult a psychiatrist. Not to be locked up in a clinic with your hands tied in a straitjacket.
And so that after the consultation, if necessary, prescribed medications that will relieve anxiety, calm and relax. Antidepressants, for example, will help to improve the mood, which is usually or not, or it is unstable.
Yes, and getting enough sleep also does not hurt to restore the resources spent on emotions if you are prescribed sleeping pills.
In general, remember, the sooner you get help, the more likely it is to recover without any special consequences for the body.
For example, without accompanying depression, asthenia, or, even worse, mental disorders, the occurrence of which can provoke stress.
Methods
Recovery
When a person feels suffering, he loses connection with himself, his body. Therefore, in order to heal the soul, it is important to re-establish contact with the body.
Let’s say if you tolerate massage well, go for at least 5 sessions. Feeling the boundaries of your body, it will be easier for you to notice that experiences also have these boundaries, respectively, once you go beyond them and experience relief.
The muscles of the back and neck will relax, which are usually very tight, tense and cause discomfort during stress.
Reflection
No matter how childish it may seem, but keep a diary where you pour out the whole stream of thoughts that swarm in your head. You can not accumulate unpleasant and difficult emotions, so you will only aggravate the situation.
Just imagine that the wound has festered, and instead of disinfecting it, treating it with medicine and sticking it with adhesive tape, the person simply took it and covered it with something so as not to see it.
In general, you understand, take a sheet and free up space inside yourself for other feelings and thoughts.
Just do not immediately succumb to criticism of what is written. You will re-read everything sometime later, when it becomes easier.
Physical exercise
Yes, the best way to get rid of mental suffering is to work hard physically. Choose the method yourself, let it be training, general cleaning or just a long walk in the park.
In addition to the fact that you will relieve excess stress, you will get tired, which means you will fall asleep faster. So also get a portion of endorphins, hormones of joy.
Let not immediately, but gradually from physical activity you will begin to enjoy. And as a bonus, there will be a toned figure and improved well-being.
Dive into the state
Yes, it’s scary, moments to horror. After all, how can you allow yourself to surrender completely to feelings, if it is already unbearable?
But this is necessary, the longer you try to avoid suffering, the longer, respectively, you will live with them.
Enlist the support of loved ones, allow yourself not to be happy and smiling at least for a while. If you feel bad about parting with your loved one or beloved, grieve, that’s the only way you
gradually reach a level where there is not pain, but sadness. And there is a stone’s throw to a feeling of relief, calmness and even peace.
Just don’t try to forget what happened. So you devalue what should have been part of your life story, part of you.
Take care of your health
If you have an addiction, whether it’s alcohol, cigarettes, etc., be sure to address the question of how to get rid of it. Because addictions only aggravate the condition, and do not help to recover and become happy.
Review your diet, giving up fatty, fried foods. Add foods that will help your body recover, such as nuts, vegetables, sea fish, spinach.
And bananas, grapes and oranges with strawberries stimulate the production of endorphins, hormones of joy.
Be sure to get enough sleep, most importantly, before going to bed, do not succumb to tantrums, including films that only make you want to cry.
Air out the room, drink a glass of warm milk, and calm the swarm of thoughts in your head by doing, for example, breathing techniques to relieve stress.
Journey
In no case do not stay for a long time in complete solitude. Yes, it is extremely necessary at times, but there is a risk of getting used to it so much that later on it will not come out to let someone close.
So, when you realize that it’s time to act, otherwise despondency and apathy will take over, try changing the picture. Enlist the support of someone who can be there without hurting you more, and go on a journey.
It is not necessary to fly to another country, it is enough to get out of the house and go on a tour of your own city. Visit an exhibition, a museum, in general, try to spend time a little differently than lately.
Completion
And that’s all for today, dear readers! There is probably not a single person in the world who has never experienced mental pain. So you are certainly not alone in your condition.
Even those people who seem incredibly happy have always been unhappy at some point. Just take care of yourself, seek help and support.
Strength to you to survive your hardships and difficulties that have arisen!
The material was prepared by a psychologist, Gestalt therapist, Zhuravina Alina