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After holidays and quarantine, children return to classes, and complaints begin again. The curriculum is overloaded. The lessons are boring. Let us recall the most popular ideas and reproaches addressed to the school. And together with the psychologist Natalya Evsikova, we will think about what can be done to make learning a joy for the child.
1. Academic success depends on the teacher
This is partly true. Teachers make a big difference in a child’s life. They may be too liberal with students, or too strict, protectively caring or businesslike aloof, meticulous in details, and so on.
Rarely does a teacher fully correspond to our ideas about a good teacher. But one person does not determine the fate of the student, his life success or failure. And the school, for all its significance, is not the main place in a child’s life.
What to do? Parents have their own role in the learning process. They can make a novice student happier. If the child is afraid of the teacher, acknowledge his feelings: he is really afraid! Explain that the teacher’s severity is not directed against him, an adult can also be nervous and angry.
If at some lesson the child is bored, arouse his interest in this area of knowledge yourself. Reading good books to him, going to museums together, watching Discovery and BBC documentaries on TV or video together is a great way to keep your curiosity going.
2. The teaching load is too high
As soon as a child goes to school, his day becomes similar to the day of an adult. As a result, he gets tired and gets sick more often. Sometimes fatigue is the result of improper distribution of energy and time. Little schoolchildren generally do a lot of superfluous things, because they still do not know how to study. For them, the daily routine is still important. Some people find it hard to take the long commute to school.
What to do? The main thing here is to work out a daily algorithm of behavior: I came home, had lunch, rested, and started doing my homework at a certain time.
Start with breakfast. Often the morning rush does not allow you to get out of the «night» state and «get into the shoes» of the student, and the children need to reorganize from home to school. A joint breakfast is both a time for your emotional communication and food that reinforces its strength. Do not arrange “preventive” conversations in the morning, do not grumble.
The child reads the task aloud, asks the question aloud: “What should I do?” — and answers it aloud
After school, release the children’s energy before you start reminding about homework. In the classroom, teachers say: “We take out a diary, take a pen, write it down …” Each action must also be spoken at home. The child reads the task aloud, asks the question aloud: “What should I do?” and answers it out loud. Performing the exercise, he says what he is doing now: “I am writing: 12 plus 24 equals …”
This is especially important if the subject is given with difficulty. Naming his actions, he gradually learns to speak “to himself”, imperceptibly masters the algorithm for completing tasks and begins to use it automatically.
3. Grades Cause Constant Stress
Many schoolchildren live in fear of a bad grade, they perceive it not as an assessment of their work, but as a kind of stigma. Often the parents themselves give a reason for children’s anxiety: “Again, I soiled the notebook, didn’t solve the problem, didn’t learn the verses, lost the textbook …” They dramatize the situation, and the children begin to believe that they will never be able to study in such a way that their parents were pleased with them.
What to do? Even the most inquisitive and attentive child sometimes fails to cope with the task. And that doesn’t mean he’s a bad student. Such a subtle, but very important difference must be felt by yourself and explained to your son or daughter. Always evaluate the work, not the child. When the task is done well, do not forget to notice his efforts.
It is important to know that younger students from time to time experience a kind of “rollback”. In children 8-9 years old, for example, there comes a period when handwriting becomes careless, incomprehensible, sloppy. Knowing about this feature of age, emotionally support the child: “You learned to write so quickly!” — and help to re-master the «forgotten» calligraphy skill.
4. He is teased by classmates
This happens in different schools, regardless of the prestige, location and level of teaching. Any trifle can become a reason for ridicule: glasses, “not of this” hair color, tall or short stature, too dense complexion or a quiet voice …
What to do? Listen to the child, but do not comment on his story. Resist the temptation to immediately solve his problem. Try to understand what he feels: pain, resentment, anger? Name this feeling: «It’s very hurtful to be called that» or «It’s hard to bear such hard feelings.»
It may seem incredible, but we really help children when we listen to them and acknowledge their feelings. There is only one situation in which it is necessary to intervene immediately: when the actions of a child — yours or another — degrade the dignity of a person or are simply life-threatening.
5. He refuses to go to school
This is happening more and more. On the one hand, our children are more free to express their feelings and desires. On the other hand, the school does not always satisfy their needs for free choice, creativity, and development.
What to do? The child said that he would not go to school anymore. Talk to him about it, but not right away. Give yourself and him time to figure out what’s really going on. It is necessary to agree with the “strike”: “School is really difficult … But there are friends there, there are teachers that you like. Let’s walk around for some more time (specify which one), let’s see, we’ll try to change something … «
The best school is one that respects children, knows how to teach them and at the same time does not squeeze all the juice out of them
Your task is to try to push the prospect of leaving school as far as possible. If the problem persists, you may indeed be in the wrong school. And there is no drama here. It is desirable to settle all issues with the change of school until the sixth grade. Up to this point, the issue of relationships, communication with peers, children solve easily. In 7th and 8th grades it will be more difficult.
Which school is better? Perhaps closer to home or one with less teaching load. Many parents find it difficult to decide to change schools. It seems to them that it is better where they ask a lot of lessons and there are two foreign languages. In fact, the best school is the one where they respect children, know how to teach them and at the same time do not squeeze all the juice out of them.
6. The child began to study poorly
Usually this happens in the fifth grade: children begin to study worse, they do not have time for a lot. And they are very worried about it. In elementary school, the main thing for a student is to memorize and tell. In the middle classes, the number of subjects increases, assignments become more voluminous, but most importantly, a new type of textbook appears.
In fact, this is a book to read, and reading is rather boring and not always clear. Here, memorization does not help much, you need to understand the topic yourself, delve into the material, analyze new information — this is the only way you can understand and remember the new.
What to do? You may have to go back to the beginning and teach him to learn again. If a child fails to do something, do not shame or goad him. Try it differently: «Let’s do it together.» The child should feel your support and desire to help him. Always support him, try to approach the problem constructively — and it will be solved.