6 types of psycho-emotional vampires

The concept of «psycho-emotional vampire» is a metaphor that refers to people who take away our energy. Everyone knows the feeling when we lose emotional, mental and physical energy when we meet. Usually we do not try to analyze the reasons for the loss of strength, but take it for granted, attribute it to problems at work, or look for the cause of negative emotions in ourselves.

The abundance of stress in everyday life makes us accustomed to feeling exhausted and empty. But often the cause of fatigue lies in the stress that arises from the environment — managers, department heads, business partners, spouses, colleagues, friends, parents and even children.

The principle of interaction with such people is as follows: a person who feeds on the energy of another almost always focuses on old injuries or wounds of his “feeder”, generating energy in him. He uses the energy of another to compensate for his deficit. As a rule, «vampire» and «feeder» are people with very low self-esteem. So one takes, the other gives.

«Vampires» always put pressure on sensitive and painful points, and every time we experience the same feelings, we react the same way. But as soon as we learn not to allow criticism into ourselves, we heal painful points, then we will cease to be “feeders”. You need to work through traumas from the past, come to harmony with yourself.

In describing the types of psycho-emotional vampires, you can see a partial resemblance to yourself or someone else. But there are people who «fit» into several types at once. Each person can be both a «vampire» and a «feeder» at the same time.

Type #1: «Callous Soul»

Example. The woman cries and turns to her husband: “When I am hurt and lonely, you always leave. You don’t want to help me.» The husband, without delving into her words, says that he urgently needs to get to a friend and take some thing from him, because this is more important than his wife’s “contrived” problem.

Type characteristic. He usually suffers from narcissistic personality disorder, convinced of his own uniqueness. He is emotionally cold, incapable of relationships, or uninterested in other people’s feelings. He considers himself a very important person. He is usually recognized, respected and appreciated at work. He leaves his «feeders» without support.

Characteristics of the «feeder». These are emotional, hypersensitive people. Relationships are very important to them. Most often, these are kind people who appeal to another person, not understanding why he does not want to understand them.

How to save energy. Don’t over-open your feelings to rational people. Stop trying to change them and instill in them that the soul and feelings are important. If they want, they will change themselves. Protect your psycho-emotional harmony by maintaining relationships with people who are focused on accepting the world of feelings of another person. If the “hard soul” is your spouse, harmonize in communication with friends who, like you, are aimed at sensual relationships. This will reduce tension and prevent him from feeding on your energy.

Type #2: «Hunter»

Example. An employee comes to the boss with good news about the past conference. The boss, with an arrogant expression on his face, declares that next time he can do «even better.»

Type characteristic. Egocentric personality type, overestimating himself. He does not allow himself to be contradicted. Most often despotic, reckless, considers himself irreplaceable. May suffer from narcissistic personality disorder. He thinks his work matters the most. He is not able to understand the world of feelings and experiences of other people, while he reacts very strongly to criticism addressed to him. Anger and devaluation are his most common reactions to criticism. This type sets traps, testing people, and «sucks» the energy from his employees, who can never please him. Thus, they become «feeders», falling into traps.

Characteristics of the «feeder». These people very often need recognition from others, they are completely dependent on the opinions of others, they are always looking for the cause of failure in themselves. They try to please everyone. They, like the “hunter”, have low self-esteem. Often they idealize the «hunter», not realizing that he himself suffers from low self-esteem.

How to save energy. If you have realized that your «hunter» is a narcissistic nature with egocentric tendencies, then the first thing you can do is stop trying to please him. Activate your strengths and make a decision not to let yourself be confused.

Type #3: «Depressive whiner»

Example. A woman comes to her friend and says that they have a fun trip. A friend with a sad smile declares: “This, of course, is good, but what will this trip give us? We will come and everything will be the same. And yes, it’s a long ride. You still need to think about what to take with you. And these stations, buses, settlements … ”Communicating with a“ whiner ”, people never know exactly why they feel bad. Either something negative happens to him all the time, or he is just a person of mood. He also believes that others are always to blame for everything.

Type characteristic. This type usually feels like a victim, carrying the entire weight of the world on his shoulders. He has a constantly sad and suffering expression on his face. Life is given to him hard, his whole existence is a heavy burden. Often he has a lot of time, but he does not bring anything to the end, and he manages to establish little in life. He lives with the attitude: “I feel bad and you have to help me. I need to be encouraged, to please, to entertain, to calm down. It has a strong effect on people, reducing their emotional background. The danger is that this type has severe depression that is difficult to recognize. His environment, that is, «feeders», are not aware of depression, they see only arrogance and self-centeredness, through which frustration peeps.

Characteristics of the «feeder». These are people who are themselves prone to depression or are currently in an unstable psycho-emotional state.

How to save energy. Ask yourself the question more often: “What worries a person at the moment, why does he feel bad?” Try to talk to him, get more information. This will give him a sense of being needed, which will increase his sense of worth. Try not to be angry with him. If you can build a relationship with him and allow yourself to be introduced into his circle of trust, this will reduce his need for your energy.

Type #4: «Neglective»

Example. In a large company, one of the interlocutors tells the other what is happening in his life. The second, in response, disdainfully turns away to the other interlocutor and begins to tell something of his own, without answering or reacting in any way to the previous interlocutor.

Type characteristic. This type is unique in that, although he asks the interlocutor about something, he is not at all interested in the answer. He devastates his «feeders» so much that they sometimes cannot carry on a conversation on a physical level. His behavior follows his algorithm, he says something, but the person cannot express his opinion, since the “neglecting” type does not listen to him at all. He is most often only interested in his own life, or he does not want to hear anything about problems so that he does not have to solve them. After communicating with this type, a person most often feels inner emptiness and looks for the root of the problem in himself.

Characteristics of the «feeder». These are people with a very subtle and sensual nature. They love frank conversations and tell everything about themselves. They depend on the opinions of others and often need to establish relationships from which they expect approval and understanding.

How to save energy. Analyze the situation first. If you understand that it is safe for you, then you can open the veil of your inner life. Do not tell everything about yourself, first understand whether it is necessary for people around you to know. Do not try to evaluate yourself and look for the root of the problem in yourself. Accept the fact that all people are different: there are sensitive and emotional people, and there are rational people who find it more difficult to understand the world of feelings of others.

Type №5: «Savior»

Example. The young man had a fight with the girl. He shares the problem with his mother. The mother gives him a long lecture on how to fix everything, thereby violating the son’s personal boundaries. To the words: “Mom, I didn’t ask you to give advice,” the mother most often begins to manipulate, claiming that she wants “the best”, that she tried to help, that she put so much effort into analyzing the situation, and her son turned out to be ungrateful.

Type characteristic. Oddly enough, but excessive help can also drain energy. Usually this type is very eager to be good for everyone, wants everyone to be good. But others get tired of his obsessive help. He gives “helping” advice that people don’t need at all, and then declares: “I wanted to help, I do everything in order to help, and you …” Communication with the “savior” is tiring and devastating, since the manipulation of good and non-perception of the desires of others greatly exhausts the «feeder».

Characteristics of the «feeder». These are people who tend to feel sorry for themselves. They have low self-esteem, through which they often evaluate other people. They are used to competition and are often self-centered.

How to save energy. Refuse to criticize the «savior» — this will only encourage him to save your relationship. He will begin to «adapt» even more in order to win your love. Periodically ask what he would do in a certain situation. This will deprive him of confidence in the correctness of the answer, since the initiative comes from you, and not from him.

Type #6: «The All-Knowing»

Example. At a business meeting, one person begins to talk about his business, another intervenes and tries to show that he knows everything about the interlocutor’s field of activity. He starts a long conversation «about nothing», because the information he owns is very superficial. But his internal task is to show himself as an expert in various fields. However, he does not give the interlocutor the opportunity to correct him. If this succeeds, the reaction of the «all-knowing» may be inadequate and aggressive.

Type characteristic. This type always tries to present himself as versatile erudite, even if he does not understand the topic under discussion at all. He believes that his life and opinion can be transferred to the lives of other people. They are usually very rational and selfish people with low self-esteem who are unable to put themselves in the shoes of others. Such a person knows the solution for any difficult situation, he “gets smart” a lot and annoys people with his superficial knowledge and advice. He argues for a very long time, expressing his opinion, and reacts negatively to someone who dares to object to him or convict him of ignorance.

Characteristics of the «feeder». These are people with low self-esteem who take superficial statements and advice too seriously. They are in an unstable psycho-emotional state. At such moments, the «all-knowing» has a strong influence, as he sees doubt in the «feeder».

How to save energy. Try to give less information about yourself. Take advantage of the technique used by politicians and diplomats, simply answering: «No comment.» This is the best and most effective way to save energy from the «all-knowing». Be carefull.