6 traps that eat up your time

“Again I don’t have time for anything”, “Where can I find time?”, “Why are there only 24 hours in a day?” Today, this is how most people live, but this does not make what is happening the norm. Happiness and time researcher and TED speaker Ashley Willians is sure that lack of time is a global problem that has consequences for each of us and for society as a whole.

Research data confirms that those who suffer from time pressure experience more stress, feel less happy and work less productively. In addition, he exercises less, eats more fatty foods and is more at risk of developing cardiovascular disease.

It seems that there can be only one explanation: we work harder than previous generations, continues Ashley Willians. But it is not. It is believed that, for example, in the United States, men today have 9 hours of free time per week (half a century ago they had only 6 hours), and women – 8 hours (50 years ago they had 4 hours).

So what’s the point then? Who or what is eating up our time?

1. Technology is crushing our time

Designed to save it, technology often takes time in practice. High-speed Internet allows you to work from anywhere in the world and as much as we want, but it all ends up that we work all the time.

Previously, we could have a few free hours at our disposal, but now devices constantly distract us, breaking our time into parts and not allowing us to fully relax. Ashley Willians and other researchers call this “temporary confetti”: we spend seemingly seconds, but a total of tens of minutes, being distracted by one thing or another.

Let’s say at seven in the evening you decide to take an hour break. During this hour you receive two letters, read both and reply to one; five notifications come to Facebook, you view them and like a couple of comments; Slack receives three questions from colleagues, you answer one, ignore two; a reminder comes that tomorrow it will be necessary to congratulate mom; friends ask in the chat what are your plans for the weekend, you reply to their messages.

It only takes a few seconds each time, but these distractions have two negative effects, Ashley continues.

• First: as a result, a piece breaks off from your free time – about 10%.
• Second: your full 60 minutes of uninterrupted rest turn into “confetti” from short segments.

Even if you don’t respond to questions, comments, and messages right away, you keep in mind the need to do so later. It also takes a while for our brains to recover from activities that involve even the slightest amount of stress (and reading emails from colleagues is probably just such an activity). As a result, we no longer enjoy the free time we have at our disposal, and besides, it seems to us that we have had less rest than we actually did.

2. We are too focused on money.

Another trap is society’s obsession with work and making money. Contrary to popular wisdom, we are taught that happiness lies in money. But is it? In fact, and this is confirmed by research data, money can indeed protect us from many sorrows, but you can’t buy happiness with it.

From the moment we start to have enough money to pay bills, save for the future and somehow have fun, additional income ceases to please us. After conducting a survey of 1,7 million respondents in 165 countries, the researchers calculated the exact amount that a person is enough – money in excess of this amount will no longer make him happy, Ashley continues.

Once he starts earning $60 a year (which is the global average), money no longer determines how often he laughs or smiles every day. And once he hits $95 a year, money no longer helps him feel successful. Having become rich, a person begins to compare himself with those who earn even more.

Nobody disputes that money is needed. They protect us from stress and serve as insurance for many occasions. But eliminating trouble from your reality does not mean bringing something good into it. Moreover, we argue like this: now I will work hard to earn more, and then in the future I will be able to rest more. This is an erroneous conclusion.

3. We underestimate our time.

52% of participants in one study, financially well-off people experiencing severe time constraints (working parents with children), said they would rather have more money than more time. And when asked how they would manage the extra $100 that, say, won the lottery, only 2% of working parents admitted that they would spend it on something that saves them time, such as ordering home delivery of groceries.

With an increase in the level of well-being, the attitude to the issue does not change: the one who has $ 3 million in a bank account still prefers money to time. It is very difficult for us to learn to understand the value of our own time, so we spend an extra half an hour traveling to a distant store, simply because it is cheaper there, says Ashley Willians.

And so we book a cheap flight with a long connection in “peaceful times”, although such a trip steals time from vacation and deprives us of strength. We easily fall into the trap of the lowest price, without thinking about what kind of time loss such a decision can turn out to be. And not only temporary. We spend money on transportation to a distant store, and often this negates the savings.

So it is always useful to calculate: are we really doing what is profitable?

4. We believe it’s important to keep doing business

Today, more than ever, our identity is linked to work. Many are looking for in it, and not in the family and relationships with loved ones, the meaning of their lives. In a 2017 study, 95% of young people said that a career, the opportunity to enjoy meaningful work, is extremely important to them.

And there is nothing wrong with that. The only problem is that we consider it necessary to constantly do something, to fill our lives with deeds. We think we have to stay up late at work. Of course, at the same time, we are driven by uncertainty about the future caused by financial instability, but this does not change the essence of the matter, the speaker continues.

Many of us try to work as hard as possible to earn more, including for a rainy day. And spending the money we earn – especially on what brings us pleasure – becomes ashamed.

It seems to us that if we are constantly “on business” and terribly busy, we are great. But if we are distracted by something not related to work, this can put our earnings and status at risk. It seems to us that we will no longer be appreciated – and in a sense, they are.

Permanent employment and business spirit are elevated to a cult. Employers really treat those employees who work tirelessly (or at least talk about it on every corner) better, they even seem to others more physically attractive. But that’s exactly what they seem: it’s an illusion.

So, before you send another work email to your colleagues on Saturday night, think about how you are supporting this unhealthy, toxic idea.

5. We believe that idleness is bad.

Many of us are literally disgusted with idleness. It is physically difficult for us to do nothing. Dan Gilbert, a professor of psychology at Harvard, invited his subjects—college students—to an empty room with nothing to do. And many preferred to be subjected to a weak discharge of electric shock, just not to be alone with their thoughts.

Another study shows that working parents experience stress and boredom when it’s time for vacation. It seems that even the busiest of us have forgotten how to relax.

Technology eliminates the need to be alone with our thoughts, but at the same time increases stress levels and robs us of time. If we are constantly in touch with our devices, our brain simply does not have time to recover.

We all need to learn to “unplug our brains,” Ashley says, literally doing nothing is good for our physical and mental health.

6. We mistakenly think that tomorrow we will have more time.

Another mistake is that we are overly optimistic about our future in terms of the time we have at our disposal. For some reason it seems to us that there will be more of it than today. And so we, for example, plan a lot of things for the weekend – it seems that we will have time for everything.

But it works differently: to understand how busy we will be next week, it is enough to estimate how busy we are right now. But we overestimate our potential temporary resources and agree to help friends, say “yes” to a variety of proposals – including because it helps to feel in demand, needed, busy, productive and loved. It all ends with the fact that we fulfill these promises to the detriment of rest.

HOW TO PASS THESE TRAPS?

Of course, not all “time thieves” are listed above, but only the most common ones. It is quite possible that your time is “running away” for another reason, and it is first of all important to understand why.

It will not be possible to reverse the situation overnight: time will have to be regained step by step, day by day. It’s like with physical training, you need to gradually increase the load or distance. And to start, to make the first approach to the “projectile”, most likely, will not be easy.

This will require sincere desire. To make it happen, think of all the nice things you could do if you had time (and you will if you prioritize it right). About how your life would change.

Imagine what it’s like to strum your guitar for 15 minutes instead of replying to social media messages or work emails. Or 10 minutes to meditate, or play with the children.

Not money, but time is our main value. And it is in our power to plan it in such a way as to get more pleasure from life.

About the Author: Ashley Willians is a happiness and time researcher and TED speaker.