6 steps to a successful wedding

Modest or luxurious? In the registry office or in the open? For a thousand people or just for two? Your wedding can be anything! This day will still be remembered. It is only important to prepare for it without stress and quarrels.

A wedding is a wonderful event, full of joy and hope. However, the preparation process often turns into a nightmare: relatives do not talk to each other, the bride is on the verge of a nervous breakdown, the groom is not happy that he got involved in this adventure. How to avoid such a situation? It is enough to follow a few rules. So, 6 steps to a successful wedding.

Step 1. Find a compromise with relatives

“A modest wedding is out of the question”, “I found a wonderful place for a banquet”, “Aunt Masha will bake a cake!”. All future spouses faced persistent advice from loved ones. Of course, relatives act with the best of intentions, but their ideas about the perfect wedding often do not coincide with the vision of the bride and groom. For example, the older generation dreams of a grand reception for 200 people, while the younger generation wants a chamber dinner.

“Most of all, mothers put pressure on brides,” explains psychoanalyst Martina Teyak. “They want to repeat their wedding or arrange the one they dreamed of for themselves.” Pressure can also come from siblings. Unmarried people are sometimes jealous and therefore object to a big holiday, as if to say: this wedding does not mean anything, you should not try too hard. Married people make it clear that everything should be no worse (but not better) than theirs.

If parents pay for the celebration, it is almost impossible to resist their desires. “You have to separate the acceptable requirements from the unacceptable ones,” warns Martina Teyak. “Try to find a compromise: parents respect the decision of the bride and groom regarding the format of the evening, and the young agree to invite a little more guests, order expensive champagne or more sophisticated jewelry.”

The bride and groom should listen to themselves, says wedding organizer Olga Meldzikhova: “If they have planned a picnic on the grass, let them do it. It can also be done in such a way that parents who insisted on the classic format will be delighted.

Step 2: Introduce Parents Beforehand

By getting married, the newlyweds unite their families. The first meeting of parents is a delicate matter. It is wiser that it does not take place at the wedding, but in advance, on neutral territory, for example, in a restaurant where everyone obeys the rules of good manners. Do not force parents to communicate more than they want. Don’t push them too hard and don’t expect them to become best friends right away for you.

A rarer, but also, alas, possible situation is that the families of the bride and groom cannot stand each other. Then it is reasonable to invite them only to the official part in the registry office. And then have a party with your friends.

Step 3: Be prepared for conflict

Any problems are exacerbated on the eve of day X. “When a child marries, he performs an act of absolute liberation, the parent loses power over him,” analyzes Martina Teyak. At this moment, some fathers and mothers defiantly step back from what is happening, saying, “do as you want, you are already an adult.” So they make it clear that the child is indifferent to them.

Do I need to beg a loved one to take part in the holiday? “We cannot require someone to show feelings that he does not experience,” says the psychoanalyst. “But we don’t have to suffer because of it.”

Another common situation is blackmail by relatives. “If your stepmother / stepfather is there, I won’t come,” “if you don’t invite your cousin, you don’t have to invite me either.” There should be no compromises with blackmailers.

If an adult behaves like a child, this is his problem. “Don’t bother with the disgruntled,” advises Martina Teyak. – On your special day, you can be a “dictator”. And by and large, this is not a dictatorship, but common sense.”

Step 4. Work with professionals

The future mother-in-law wants to decorate the hall, the brother plans to make a wedding album, the aunt is already baking a cake? “You should not use friends and relatives as contractors,” explains Olga Meldzikhova. “It is impossible to build a customer-client relationship with them, it is inconvenient for them to make demands or ask to redo poor-quality work.”

But sometimes loved ones themselves are eager to fight. “If you want the perfect holiday, learn to say no,” says Martina Teyak. The most active can come up with some kind of activity. For example, delivering invitations or wrapping gifts for guests. “So we will set the framework for the activities of this family member, he will feel useful, and the young will get rid of the boring business,” the psychoanalyst explains.

Step 5. Consider seating arrangements

The budget and scope of the celebration depends on the number of guests. “You should not invite everyone you know, just so as not to offend,” advises Olga Meldzikhova. May those with whom you want to share your joy be with you on this day. But do not forget to think over the seating arrangement, even if you invite 20-30 people. For everyone to enjoy the evening, there should be people with similar interests and the same age around.

The psychoanalyst gives different advice: “Since the newlyweds represent two different worlds, it is right to beat their association and mix representatives of different families. Otherwise, two clans will form, and the wedding will become boring. Don’t be afraid to sit next to strangers. They will be interested in getting to know each other.”

Step 6. Don’t worry about trifles

Even the most thoughtful event does not always live up to expectations. Probably not everything will go according to plan. Martina Teyak believes that relatives on the wedding day should smooth out sharp corners as much as possible. Did any of the guests drink a lot and mope? During the wedding, many are visited by thoughts about the transience of life. Let other relatives talk heart to heart with this guest.

There are no perfect weddings. The main thing is not to take small troubles to heart. Then they will soon be forgotten, and the most positive moments will remain in memory.