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We want to be liked, and that’s okay. We are pleased when we are noticed and when communication with us is remembered, and this is quite natural. The main thing is not to go out of your way for the sake of it, otherwise it starts to look strange from the outside and only repels the interlocutors.
1. You play the role of a jester
Humor cheers us up, creates a good impression of us and leaves a pleasant aftertaste after meetings. Therefore, many of us, when communicating with others, try to remember all the jokes we heard, to make fun of ourselves and sometimes cross the line in this.
Perhaps you yourself are familiar with these awkward situations when you feel compelled to laugh at other people’s unfunny jokes — so is it worth putting others in a similar position?
If you are not in a good mood today, do not try to squeeze something out of yourself.
Let the conversation go as it goes. In any case, people around you consider insincerity and your excessive desire to please — this is hardly the impression that you want to make on them.
2. You laugh out loud where others only smile.
It happens that the interlocutor tells something half-jokingly, obviously not expecting an explosion of laughter in response, and those around him grin a little. Anyone who, in such a situation, starts out loud and, we note in parentheses, almost always laughs out of tune, usually looks quite strange.
Be sincere, react the way you want. Most comments, even witty ones, deserve only a slight smile.
3. You are too cute
Being kind is great, it’s something we should all strive for, but if you go too far with it, people start to doubt your intentions. Of course, there are no specific rules here, and the phrase “too cute” will mean something different for everyone, but you definitely shouldn’t agree and praise everything that you don’t like, and apologize a hundred times for every little thing.
The same rule applies here as in all other cases: sincerity plus relevance.
4. You only listen but don’t say anything.
Yes, we all know that in order to be known as an excellent interlocutor, you need to listen more than speak (and do it actively), but, again, to a certain limit. “Playing with one goal” can quickly get bored with the interlocutor when he realizes that he poured out his soul to you, but he didn’t know anything about you.
Communication means both taking and giving, and balance is important here. Ask open-ended questions, show interest in the interlocutor, offer something, give examples from your life when appropriate.
5. You always say yes.
But not at all like the hero of Jim Carrey, who suddenly became open to any possibilities: no, you just agree with everything that the interlocutor says, nod in the affirmative, never argue or give counterarguments. Most likely, because you simply do not have an opinion.
How would you characterize a conversation with such a person? Alas, for most it will be boring.
Work on giving your impression of something, and don’t be afraid to share your opinion and object if you have to, but do it with respect. You can soften the presentation of your arguments with phrases like “yes, but …”, “what if …”, “but maybe …”.
6. You make self-deprecating comments.
It is perfectly acceptable to laugh at yourself a couple of times in a kind way, but constantly making fun of yourself and your actions will not lead to anything good. At a minimum, those around you will feel uncomfortable, and at the maximum, they will lose all desire to communicate with you.
Of course, communication has certain laws, but the main thing is that it should take place naturally, without obvious efforts on your part. Try to be friendly, open, and respectful, but don’t put yourself down or conform to everyone else.