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We want to do what we love and at the same time not lack money. Such a life is the dream of many. However, we are unaware of the hidden obstacles that lie in the way of a dream, says self-development training author Steve Pavlina.
1. Habitual routines
If you want to turn a boring monotonous life into an interesting and exciting one, you will have to get rid of old habits. At first, you will constantly find yourself slipping into routines that no longer suit you.
Instead of going on a trip, you stay at home, because you always did before. You communicate with old acquaintances who support your old habits, although deep down you know that they will not follow you into a new life.
Even before drastic changes in life, it’s good to break the old rules from time to time. Gradually move away from old patterns of behavior and take advantage of new opportunities as they arise.
2.Unsuitable environment
If friends cannot accept your new “I”, the relationship will have to be reconsidered. The sooner you do this, the less they will slow down the changes in your life.
If you consider yourself a devoted person, let the devotion be properly addressed. Be true to your true self. Be committed to your unique development path. Be committed to the new relationships that lie ahead of you. Do not confuse devotion with fear or stubbornness.
Every time I lost friends and found new ones. Some stayed with me during recess. These are the kind of friends you need.
Loyalty to destructive relationships that prevent you from developing is false. Admit that you are afraid to move forward in unfamiliar territory, so you cling to old relationships as an excuse not to take the next step. Once you are honest with yourself, moving forward becomes easier.
No need to deliberately break off relations with old friends. Enter the new path without embarrassment – let them react as they want. If they are happy for you and support you, great.
I have gone through some major changes in my life. Every time I lost old friends and found new ones. Some friends stayed with me during the multiple changes. These are the kind of friends you need. They surround themselves with growth-oriented people, so they expect change from friends, not constancy. If others want you to stand still, they are not your friends.
3. Wrong pair
If the partner does not support you in new endeavors, this is the most dangerous trap. Getting out of inappropriate relationships is difficult and painful, I know firsthand. But it is necessary to go through it in order to create a life that brings happiness and satisfaction.
You cannot stay put. Also, you cannot drag a partner with you who does not want to. In addition, this does not make sense – there are many suitable people ahead of you. However, they do not recognize you as a couple while you are tormented in an old relationship.
4. Bad habits
It takes dedication, self-discipline, and patience to create a successful life. If you have bad habits, they will prevent you from moving forward.
Bad habits weaken the prefrontal cortex, the part of the brain responsible for planning and self-regulation. They reduce the ability to think rationally and control oneself, which makes it even more difficult to overcome addiction.
The more bad habits you have and the more often you give in to them, the less self-discipline you have. If you are not able to behave consistently, it is unlikely that you will be able to radically transform your life. Most likely, you will constantly put it off.
If you want to create the perfect life, make breaking bad habits a priority. Bad habits include alcohol, drugs, gambling, internet, phone or social media abuse, unhealthy eating, video games, shopping and workaholism.
If you can’t cope with some kind of addiction for a long time, stop looking for a middle ground. You either stay with her for the rest of your life, or break up and never meet again. If you are not ready for the second option, then you have chosen the first one by default.
For any type of addiction, there are support groups to help you. Type in the search bar and you will find a lot of resources. Start reading to find out how addiction hurts you and how to overcome it. Other people’s stories will give you strength.
5. Fear of discomfort
In the “past” life, you felt comfortable. The days were the same and lived up to expectations.
Now you need to forget about comfort, at least for a while. During the transition to a new life, and perhaps for a long time after it, you will be outside of your comfort zone. You must learn to feel good in the face of discomfort.
Discomfort will become part of the new reality, so don’t let it stop you. Traveling to a new country without knowing the local language is uncomfortable. Conducting the first training, speaking in public or giving an interview is uncomfortable. Telling others how you changed your life is uncomfortable. Discomfort is part of development. If you are comfortable, you do not develop.
If you do not enlist the support of others along the way, you will have to do it alone.
The more welcoming you are to discomfort, the easier it is to deal with it. What used to embarrass me now seems funny.
Next week I’m going to the UK, and the next week I’m going to Italy. I haven’t been to Italy before and I don’t speak Italian at all, so I can get into awkward situations. But I’ve been through so many situations like that that I don’t care anymore. Discomfort has become habitual for me. A few years ago, I would have had to give up traveling without careful preparation or go on a group tour.
6. Obsession with oneself
If the new way of life revolves only around your “I”, it will not be easy to stay afloat. Your new life should be useful to others. What do you give in return for what you receive? How will changes in your life affect those around you? Why should someone worry about you and help you?
If you do not enlist the support of others along the way, you will have to do it alone. This creates difficulties and undermines motivation. People who focus only on themselves give up because of loneliness and isolation. In changing life, they also do not move far. If you don’t try to help others, why should people give you money? Fulfilling your own desires is great, but it’s not enough.
I help others when I share my thoughts on business development. I had no idea what effect my blog would have. I started running it in 2004, and since then the site has over 100 million visitors. My articles are sent, translated and reprinted all over the world. I have received comments from readers from every continent except Antarctica.
It stimulates my own development as well, as it introduces me to growth-oriented people. Most of my current friends I have made through this job. Ideally, your work and your lifestyle should work well together and support each other. Of course, finding such a balance is not easy, but by doing this, you will get rich.
About the Author: Steve Pavlina is a self-development coach, American blogger, writer, and entrepreneur.