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Surely you have bosses, colleagues, you have to check mail and make reports. Now some are working from home, but still this does not save them from specific fears. What are office workers afraid of? We deal with the psychologist Nina Bocharova.
Some lucky people are not afraid to go to the office, calmly receive messages from the boss and speak courageously at department meetings. They were lucky. But many startle at the call, not only at inopportune hours, but even when sitting at the workplace.
So, what exactly are office workers afraid of and how to deal with these fears?
1. Calls, chat messages, calls to the boss’s office
“Whether I work from the office or from home, calls from my boss cause me real panic. An alarming signal immediately went through my head: yeah, something happened, and obviously it was my fault, ”says Varvara, 27 years old.
“We have a working chat, in which the manager writes if one of us made a mistake. If I see a message, it always seems to me at first that it was I who did something wrong, this is about my typo, my message was written “jamb”. At the very beginning of the work, this happened quite often. Now this happens less often, but I still can’t get rid of the feeling that I will be scolded. If this happens, I feel like an inept worker, not a professional. I want to leave right away, because I don’t belong here,” laments Irina, 40 years old.
“Usually we are not called to the chief one by one. But if they call, then something happened. And probably because of me. I go and think: “Well, everyone, now they will say – quit.” Every time I shake, although usually they don’t say anything terrible to me, ”says Arina, 32 years old.
Where does fear come from
What makes us so afraid of seemingly ordinary work processes and situations?
“Fear of judgment, criticism, neurotic guilt. All these are echoes of early experiences (childhood or school), where an automatic reaction was formed to contact with a significant person. It manifests itself in the form of anxiety as a result of the transfer of previously experienced emotions and their projection into the present. Stress hormones are released, which lead to the “run” or “freeze” reaction, says psychologist Nina Bocharova.
The leader is a significant figure for us, and in contact with him we can often play out our parent-child scenarios. Such a reaction can be caused by a fixed pattern from childhood if the parental figure was judging, judging and criticizing. Accordingly, the appearance of alarm signals provokes a previously obtained destructive experience, where we were imposed a sense of guilt and shame, deprived of the right to make a mistake.
What to do?
“At the moment when the manager calls, remember that his manager is also calling him. This will help reduce the critical attitude, and the share of humor will lower the degree of anxiety, ”advises the psychologist.
The expert also recommends internally allowing yourself not to be liked by the leader in everything, while maintaining personal boundaries in working relationships.
“Mistakes become an important component of experience, without which career growth and development are impossible. And instead of running away from them, take the opportunity to learn from them and become better in order to become a real professional, ”says the psychologist.
2. Letters in work mail
“At my last job, I got a lot of emails in my inbox. And many of them were from suppliers, printing houses, logisticians. If they wrote to me, they were sure to report a problem that needed to be addressed urgently. The car overturned, the cargo was lost, the store refused to accept the delivery due to marriage. It was scary to open the box in the morning: what if there was an alarming letter again! Now I work in a different place and don’t receive anything terrible in the mail, but the fear still remains,” notes Ksenia, 30 years old.
Where does fear come from
“Anxiety is always fear about the future, the expectation of something that has not yet happened, but already causes fear. In this case, the past emotional experience played a role, where there were many directive messages. Often it is the tone and format of the letter that introduces a person into stress, which gives rise to anxiety, ”explains the psychologist.
What to do?
“When you open your mailbox, don’t take everything you read personally. Treat it like a work task where it’s important to analyze the information first, then prioritize completion. It is planning and prioritization that will help you see ways to solve problems and reduce anxiety.
3. Speaking to colleagues and management
“It is customary in our company to hold working meetings. Sometimes we meet as a group, sometimes as a department, and once a month almost the entire team gathers to listen to the presentation of the presenter, who should talk about the plan of the corporate magazine. I hate these meetings. The CEO is always present at them, and the fear of her makes my back go cold and my hands shake. So far, it has been possible to withstand the tests with honor, but I always hope that the meeting will be canceled, ”says Daria, 35 years old.
Where does fear come from
Often the fear of public speaking is rooted in the school past, when the whole class could be scolded, shamed and assessed, but it may have other reasons. When a familiar stimulus appears, the body produces a psychosomatic response that, on an emotional level, causes the person to experience the same thing, although there may not be reasons for this in the present.
What to do?
Imagine in advance before the performance the most unpleasant outcome, play it in your head, bringing it to the point of absurdity and return to the here and now. This will significantly reduce the level of fear in a real situation and remove unnecessary tension before the performance.
Having worked with your psychologist the root cause of such fear, you can permanently free yourself from it and feel confident during public speaking.
4. Your mistakes in calculations and documentation, typos
“I check every document, every graph, every text a hundred times. Sometimes I don’t have time to complete the task on time, because I can’t part with the work done, I check and check, everything seems to be something wrong,” complains Svetlana, 28 years old.
Where does fear come from
“The fear of making a mistake gives rise to a latent feeling of insecurity in one’s actions. It makes you control everything around, so as not to miss anything and make everything perfect. Total control can manifest itself in obsessive actions, which in some cases can turn into obsessive-compulsive neurosis.
As a rule, the fear of making a mistake is characteristic of perfectionists and idealists, who have a very high level of claims to themselves and to the world.
What to do?
Gradually reduce the number of checks, building confidence in yourself and your actions. Notice how much time you spend on these checks, count their number and think of something useful you could do for yourself instead of this pastime.
And the main thing is to give yourself the right to make mistakes, realizing the reasons why you don’t allow them to yourself, ”the expert suggests.
5. Incomprehensible tasks that are not clear how to do
“My boss sometimes doesn’t even know what he wants. And often gives tasks that are simply impossible to decipher. And he also entrusts things that he has never had to do before. I am very afraid of such tasks. Well, how can you hang on me what others should, in theory, understand? But I have to dig, find out, because my boss replies to my fair remark: “You were instructed to answer,” says Alexei, 30 years old.
Where does fear come from
“Faced with the unknown, we lose control of the situation. It is the same with new, unfamiliar tasks, where there is still no beaten track and a clear algorithm of actions: we are overcome by anxiety as the reverse side of control,” explains Nina Bocharova.
What to do?
And instead of avoiding new experience, make it interesting and useful for yourself, because you are given the opportunity to expand the scope of tasks, and therefore develop, the psychologist advises.
Try asking those who have done this before you, don’t be afraid to ask questions. This will help you get the basic guidelines that will help you complete the task faster.
“Now quarantine is everywhere, but we have to go to the office. And I’m terribly afraid that I might get infected. I sit in a mask, I rub my hands a hundred times. But it’s still scary. After all, many colleagues do not give a damn about restrictions,” says Olga, 43 years old.
Where does fear come from
According to the psychologist, coronaphobia manifests itself in the form of obsessive thoughts (fear) due to our dependence on an unpredictable external environment, where it is unsafe and there is no way to protect ourselves 100%.
In addition, this is a new experience for all modern humanity with massive media coverage, which exerts psychological pressure and significantly increases the level of anxiety.
“It is important to know that the more often you experience fear, anxiety and anxiety, the more the immune system suffers, which leads to wear and tear and greater susceptibility to viral diseases,” says the psychologist.
What to do?
“At times like this, bring yourself back to reality, to the here and now, when you are healthy, safe and sound. Switch the focus of attention to work tasks, this will distract from obsessive thoughts. Observe safety measures, showing personal responsibility, ”recommends the psychologist.
About expert
Nina Bocharova – psychologist, hypnotherapist, EOT therapist, full member of the Professional Psychotherapeutic League, full member of the Association of Suggestive Psychologists. More details on her .