PSYchology

We are often criticized for shortcomings, and we strive to get rid of them, because we want to receive even more attention, love, respect. But it turns out that with the eradication of shortcomings, individuality is lost. And now we are already hearing from those who criticized us before: “Before, you were much more interesting (more charismatic, more attractive).” Righteous anger overwhelms us: “Didn’t you point out the minuses to me and urge me to get rid of them?” Why is this happening?

The answer to this question is simple: our shortcomings give rise to virtues. They endow us with attractive imperfection and change life for the better.

1. Selfishness or the ability to desire

Living for yourself means being an example of how not to waste your life. Selfish people do not experience a lack of attention, despite accusations that it is difficult to communicate and build relationships with them. A selfish person attracts because he knows what he wants. He does not doubt desires and strives to realize them.

Many feel guilty about their desires. They are accustomed from childhood to the fact that they say about their desires: “this is not the main thing now”, “there are more important things”, “there is such a word -“ it is necessary ”… As a result, it is easier for them to achieve something for others than for themselves . And they are happy to communicate with egoists: they have forgotten how to desire, and an egoist knows how to do it.

Healthy egoism paints life with bright colors of fulfilled desires.

Imagine a man who knows exactly what he wants. Having become interested in a woman, he will immediately express his “I want” to her. Women are attracted to this more than trying to make a favorable impression. Healthy egoism paints life with bright colors of fulfilled desires.

2. Arrogance or the ability to value yourself highly

To be arrogant means to measure yourself highly. Arrogance is characteristic of people in high positions. So they outline the boundaries and choose the circle of communication. So when we meet someone who is acting arrogant, the perceptual schema works like this: if the person is so clearly showing superiority, chances are they have a reason.

Arrogance is reinforced by the internal state. If you truly value yourself and believe in your uniqueness, this is a sign for others to think the same way.

3. Indifference to other people’s opinions or self-confidence

Self-confidence is a consequence, and the root cause is that you do not care what others think of you. Most people miss out on winning and success for a simple reason: We care about what others say about us.

Let’s say two employees have developed projects: controversial, ambiguous, brilliant. At the same time, one began to ask the opinion of authoritative colleagues. He was criticized: they said that there were few chances, the project was too controversial and it was unlikely that something would come of it. His hands dropped, and he did not present his offspring.

His colleague did not ask for someone else’s opinion. He presented the project with success. A lot of supporters and opponents gathered around the project, but no one remained indifferent. Which of them do you like? The one who listened to someone else’s opinion and became disillusioned with his idea, or the one who remained true to himself and achieved recognition?

4. Ambition or the ability to admit that you deserve better

It is difficult to imagine a leader without ambition. The desire to take a leading position is a sign of ambition. People are divided into those who hide their ambitions and those who demonstrate them.

It is not common for others to guess our secret desires.

One woman dreamed of a promotion. She did a good job, but tried not to show interest when the boss started talking about the desired position. She was afraid to appear immodest and be in a stupid position if everyone knew about her ambitions, and someone else would get the position. But the leader interpreted her behavior in his own way. He considered that she was satisfied with the current position and she did not seek promotion, and made a choice in favor of a less qualified, but more active candidate.

It is not common for others to guess our secret desires, they tend to believe the facts and what is said out loud. Undisguised ambitions are assistants in the movement towards success.

5. Self-love or the ability to love yourself for who you are.

Imagine a girl who likes herself, admires herself, takes care of her body. When trying on a dress, she will never say: “I am fat” or “I have a bad figure,” but rather note that the dress does not fit well on her, because it is not tailored correctly or has an unsuccessful style.

Now imagine another girl, objectively more attractive than the first, who constantly finds flaws in herself and finds fault. For the male gaze, the first picture is more pleasant. When a girl is pleased with herself, she leaves no chance to think about her imperfections.

6. Hedonism or the ability to have fun

To enjoy life, sex, idle pastime is a luxury that not everyone can afford, because they are in a strict framework: they cannot relax, they must conform, they are afraid of not being liked, they feel guilty.

However, it is more pleasant for everyone to be in the company of a person who knows how to relax and unwind than someone who is buried under a load of problems. A woman who truly enjoys sex grabs a man more than one who fakes pleasure.

Of course, our shortcomings are different and produce different effects. Much depends on the degree of their severity and the level of awareness of the person himself. But do not rush to part with them until you are sure that they are not your main advantages. It is possible that thanks to them others like you.

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