6 common misconceptions about anxiety

Anxiety is one of the most common problems people see a therapist for. It manifests itself in different ways. One complains of chronic unreasonable anxiety, the other is afraid of certain things, situations, or the negative assessment of others. For some, anxiety is associated with memories of past traumas, while others may suffer from debilitating panic attacks and related symptoms: rapid heart rate, difficulty breathing, sweating, trembling, and dizziness.

Excessive anxiety seriously impairs the quality of life. Fortunately, these problems can be managed with a combination of drugs and psychotherapy.

I have been treating anxiety disorders for a quarter of a century and I often see in patients some of the erroneous assumptions and habits that interfere with successful work with anxiety. Here are the most common misconceptions.

1. Belief “if I do nothing, my anxiety will continue to grow indefinitely”

Many of those who know firsthand about anxiety will quickly recognize the approach of a panic attack. You are busy with something. Suddenly you begin to breathe heavily, you feel dizzy, your heart beats faster, you feel like you are going crazy. As you feel your anxiety build up, you tell yourself that if you don’t do anything, the symptoms will continue to increase every minute and will get worse and worse. The logic is clear, but this is an erroneous prediction.

In fact, the relationship between panic symptoms and time is not linear; rather, it can be depicted as an inverted U. Symptoms first increase, then peak, and then decrease. This is largely due to the physiological process of habituation, in which prolonged exposure to the same stimulus leads to a decrease in the excitation of the nervous system and, consequently, to a decrease in anxiety.

People with anxiety disorders are rarely aware of this because they tend to avoid discomfort before they enter the habituation zone. So an important part of treating anxiety involves learning to endure unpleasant symptoms in order to give your nervous system time to adapt and notice relief.

2. Avoiding or delaying the onset of the frightening action

When you feel intimidated while standing in line to jump off a diving board in a swimming pool, anxiety can cause you to let everyone behind you go ahead of you to delay the scary moment. Alas, by prolonging the wait, you prolong your anxiety, which is usually much harder than the event itself (the jump), since it is not limited by real parameters.

During the period of agonizing waiting, your anxious mind is free to wander where it wants, and usually selects catastrophic scenarios. In life, disasters are rare and unlikely. But in the imagination, on the contrary, they happen very often. Thus, going to the end of the queue reinforces your preoccupation and therefore increases the risk of failure. It is always better to move towards your fear, not away from it.

3. Switching attention from the factor causing anxiety to its symptoms

Psychologist David Barlow has proven that people who are concerned about their sexual relationships have something in common. Anxious thoughts (“Am I a good lover?”) occupy all their attention and distract them from making love, which leads to predictably negative consequences. This is a common mistake outside of the bedroom as well.

When we are anxious, our fight-or-flight defense mechanism kicks in, causing a range of annoying, distracting, and unsettling bodily symptoms. Discomfort arises, followed by an attempt to eliminate it, which in the short term means avoidance or flight. Skillful anxiety management assumes that you perceive anxiety as a call to focus on the current task, and not on the symptoms. The correct response to the sound of a fire alarm is not to turn it off or cover your ears, but to fight the fire.

4. Mixing fear and danger: “I am afraid, therefore I am in danger”

Our coping mechanism evolved at a time when danger and fear were closely linked. But today we live in a world where ancient fear signals no longer indicate real danger. It is important not to confuse the two, but this will require some cognitive effort. When you feel anxious, ask yourself, “Am I in danger?” If not, then the symptoms of anxiety are just noise, not a signal, and are best viewed as such—simply as noise.

Our sense of self does not always correspond to our objective state. For example, drunk people often feel they can drive normally. In the midst of a manic episode, a person is sure that he can achieve anything. During a panic attack, we may feel like we’re not in control, but we’re not. Someone who experiences a panic attack while driving, for example, will always find a way to safely stop the car and call for help – this speaks of self-control. Your feelings are a product of your mind, not a fact of the outside world. Don’t believe everything you feel.

5. Self-contempt for your anxiety

Many condemn themselves for being overly anxious in certain situations. They can scold themselves, consider themselves weak, stupid, believing that such self-abasement motivates them to improve and overcome their weakness. This is mistake. Self-denial is not the path to self-improvement. The right approach is to show self-compassion and curiosity by mastering anxiety management techniques. Say to yourself, “Feeling anxious is human nature. Let me embrace this feeling, get to know it better, and treat myself with kindness as I learn to deal with it.”

6. Confidence that the good life is devoid of discomfort

Who among us does not like comfort? We try our best to avoid all sorts of inconveniences in everyday life, and this is normal. Except for the fact that discomfort is an inevitable part of our existence. Achieving any goal that is meaningful to us entails many challenges: marriage, raising children, running a business… So while we spend a lot of time and energy trying to reduce discomfort, it is also good to put in some effort and learn to endure discomfort when the situation calls for it. .