5 women’s actions, after which it is worth ending a relationship: the opinion of men

Tears Manipulation

“At the beginning of our relationship, I lost my head – I was ready to do everything for her without hesitation,” admits Matthew (England). – Pretty soon I encountered the fact that at the slightest disagreement, the main weapon was used – tears.

I couldn’t resist it. And now we went to get acquainted with people who are not interesting to me, or went to the country to her relatives. Free days planned as she wants only. It’s hard for me to see her cry. Especially when it happened in public – she loved to make a scene in a restaurant, and I felt like a nonentity who torments a woman in front of everyone.

“It’s normal when a woman allows herself to be weak with a man and expects support from him,” says Nikolai (Russia). “If it is justified and something serious has happened, the duty of a man is to be there and protect her. However, my girlfriend made a real show out of everything.

Any insignificant incident, the slightest difficulty, gave rise to fright, and with tears she entrusted decisions to me. It turned out that I was not communicating with an adult, but with an infantile child. What happens if something serious happens to me and I need help myself?”

Complaints to outsiders

“As soon as we quarreled, and disagreements are inevitable in every couple, she immediately called the support group — her mother, sister, friends — and told about everything,” says Andrey (Kazakhstan). – As a result, we put up, and I remained, as they say, on the bench of scoundrels.

In the end, I got tired of being the one who is always to blame and offends the “poor girl.” And until now, from mutual acquaintances, I learn what should have remained between us.

“I didn’t want to change anything in our relationship, except for one thing: she shared too much with her relatives – cousins ​​and sister,” says Francois (France). – And when we met at a common table at family holidays, I felt awkward from their looks.

I have nothing against these people, but I hate that someone else knows about the details of my personal life. And we broke up largely due to the fact that her sister turned against me.

Ignoring

“Of course, like any person, I am wrong and can offend,” says Simon (Canada). “That was when I made a rude joke about her friends. She stopped talking to me that evening. The next day I called to apologize, she did not pick up the phone.

Only a couple of days later we managed to meet and reconcile. I didn’t expect it to be her usual reaction to just disappear. Messages and calls were ignored. In the end, because of this, we broke up.

“She perfectly knew how to play on my feelings,” recalls Mark (USA). – If something did not suit, I immediately sent it to ignore. This meant – come on, conquer me, play by my rules, look for meetings by any means. At first it worked. I bombarded her with messages. He sent bouquets with notes. Only in this way could she come down and answer me something.

We began to communicate until her next insult. I took it hard, even took alcohol, and eventually went to a psychologist. And only in this way I understood – this is just a game, so that I confirm my own significance to it. No dialogue is possible in this case. It was a good lesson for me for the future.”

Mercantile

“Of course, it’s nice to please your girlfriend with flowers, gifts and surprises, if it comes from the heart. But when she is sure: a man is obliged to her, this discourages any desire to continue the relationship, says Artem (Russia). “I don’t owe anything to anyone.

Women now work exactly the same way and make great money. Moreover, partnership and equality are trumpeted everywhere when it comes to careers or distribution of roles in the household. Why, then, is one of the equal partners obliged, at the request of the other, to invest materially?

“I have my own, well-established business, and I can afford a lot,” says Claudio (Germany). – I felt that as I reach a new financial level, I attract more and more girls, whom I call “counters”. They unmistakably determine your status. This is immediately repulsive.

And all this talk about the fact that the search for a more successful man is in the genes of a woman, she is looking for a guarantee of protection for herself and her unborn child – they came up with the predators themselves. A man protects a woman not with a bank account, but with other qualities, and if she is not able to appreciate it, why do I need such a woman?

Ultimatum

“The worst thing that can destroy a relationship forever is harsh ultimatums,” admits Vadim (Estonia). — I don’t know why it is believed that women are more inclined to discuss problems and compromise. In fact, they like to put you before the fact: either your hobby (I have this sport), or me. However, even if you comply with all her demands, there is no guarantee that she will not continue to manipulate.

“My ex’s favorite argument: if you don’t do this, then you don’t love me enough. But I do not want to be judged as a trained animal, whether he successfully jumps on his hind legs! Alexander says. “Why do I always have to choose and feel in the position of the guilty one? Because of this, we got divorced. Now, when I hear imperious notes, I always think: did I choose the right woman.

“Claims against a partner are often associated with their own shadow qualities”

Lev Khegai, Jungian analyst

In the proximity of partners, scenarios of parent-child relationships always come to life – that first connection that is significant for us. And the grievances of a beloved woman, expressed in tears or ignoring, often turn out to be not just methods of her pressure and manipulation. In a relationship, we inevitably trust our partner with our weak, wounded sides.

You have to become a good enough parental figure for another, which he may have lacked in childhood. This is fine. The task at the same time is not to completely shift the burden of emotional problems onto the shoulders of a partner, but thanks to the atmosphere of love and acceptance, take steps in one’s own internal development, that is, grow out of one’s childhood traumas.

Then in a couple there will gradually be less sense of using each other and more understanding. However, for this it is important not to blame, but to take a step forward. Perhaps these men are not ready to work on relationships and endure difficulties. Some treat the partner as a consumer and are ready to return the “goods” at the first displeasure.

Many cannot understand that their claims to a partner are often associated with the projection of their own shadow qualities, whether it be excessive emotionality, resentment, dependence on relatives and friends, commercialism. Close relationships always highlight their own problems, and you need to be ready to deal with them.