5 Ways to Help Your Teenager Gain Self-Confidence

Self-perception plays a key role in the emotional well-being of adolescents. If a teenager sees himself in a positive way, he is more likely to build relationships with peers and excel in school, which in turn will make him even more confident and happy.

The following tips can help improve self-perception of teenagers.

1. Go in for sports

It’s important for teens to get regular exercise, especially given their tendency to sit in front of a screen. Research shows that physical activity itself improves the self-image of children and adolescents. In addition, the conditions in which sports are played are important. Adolescents who work out under the guidance of a coach in an educational institution or gym show a more noticeable improvement in self-perception than those who work out at home.

At this age, much attention is paid to their own attractiveness and fitness – many teenagers are unhappy with their appearance. Regular exercise kills two birds with one stone, improving both the figure and the psychological state. When children get out of the house and engage in physical activity, they feel stronger, healthier and more capable. That is why it is so important to support and develop sports programs within the curriculum and beyond.

2. Focus on self-compassion

The focus on self-esteem makes teenagers constantly ask themselves: “what have I achieved?”, “am I good enough?”, “how do I look against the background of others?”. Psychologist Christine Neff advises to stop judging yourself and focus on self-compassion, that is, treating yourself with kindness and acceptance.

She sees self-compassion as a healthy alternative to the endless pursuit of results that self-esteem depends on. Kristin did a study and found that teens with higher levels of self-compassion show higher levels of well-being. They accept their shortcomings and understand that their problems and difficulties are exactly the same as those of other people. Such children treat themselves kindly and support themselves in a difficult situation, like a best friend.

3. Don’t compare yourself to others

Adolescents are very sensitive to the differences between themselves and other children. Social media exacerbates this problem. Research establishes links between social media and depression, anxiety, loneliness and fear of missing out among teenagers. Kids get frustrated when their posts don’t get as many likes as their friends’ posts and feel isolated when they see pictures of their classmates having fun without them.

The school environment also contributes to social comparison: public grading, labeling, and placement in classes depending on academic performance. All this disrupts the natural learning process, prevents children from experimenting and making mistakes.

To reduce social pressure in the school, an alternative approach can be taken: do not disclose grades publicly, provide opportunities for re-checking and correction of assignments, do not assign children to classes based on ability, focus on the individual development and progress of each child, recognize small successes.

4. Build on strengths

Pay attention to the talents and interests of the teenager, help him develop his strengths. It may be that the son is not given sports, but he lights up while working on a school science project. Maybe in your class at the last desk there is an angular ninth-grader who is afraid to answer at the blackboard, but impresses you with her compositions.

Researcher Susan Harter has studied adolescent self-esteem and self-perception for many years. She argues that a sense of self-worth depends on eight areas: physical and academic ability, behavioral skills, social acceptance, close friendships, romantic attraction, job satisfaction, and physical attractiveness.

Share with them tests that reveal such strong personal qualities as courage, honesty, and leadership abilities. Engage in activities that will help develop these talents. Emphasize and encourage abilities and interests so you can help them feel more confident and inspired.

5. Help strangers

A 2017 study of 681 teens aged 11 to 14 found that children who help strangers improve their self-perception. Recently, I was able to see with my own eyes the confirmation of this theory.

Last Friday, I watched my daughter and her friends implement the Change the World project. The teacher of social sciences gave the eighth graders the task of choosing the direction of sustainable development, researching the problem and possible solutions, planning the program of activities and putting the plan into action.

As a result, the middle school students spent the entire day rallying neighborhood votes for action to protect strangers, such as local refugees and homeless youth. Children also spoke out against testing products on animals. I have never seen my daughter and her friends so energetic, self-confident and involved in society before.

Many teenagers suffer from anxiety and perfectionism, and our first impulse is to intervene and solve their problem. But a more effective approach is to encourage and help develop the strengths that will support them throughout their lives.