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Emotions are not subject to the will, they are born inside us and require an outlet. Many spiritual and psychological practices have been created to try to manage this process. How not to hurt ourselves and others when we are overwhelmed with feelings? We tell.
Most of us “storm” from experiencing a different range of emotions – we are angry at someone, rejoice, ashamed, afraid or sad. Emotions push us to rash decisions and impulsive actions.
Human emotions lead to marriages and divorces, success and degradation, to disasters and armed conflicts – as long as we remain human, we largely live by feelings, even if we don’t like it. What to do if emotions capture, but there is nowhere to throw them out?
Talking to a friend or therapist is a great option, but not always available. And it is even more difficult if these experiences are caused by the actions of a loved one. To express everything in person and quarrel or carry it in yourself, bringing internal tension to an explosive state or “living” them in the form of illnesses?
It may seem strange to many people the simple fact that sometimes it is necessary to splash out and express in an environmentally friendly way not only negative, but also positive emotions. If you’ve ever been up in anticipation of an amazing trip, or been dancing on your way home from your most romantic date, or maybe trying to avoid seeing another wedding photo of an enthusiastic colleague, you know what I’m talking about.
We have collected 5 psychological tricks to help you express your emotions in an eco-friendly way.
1. Dance and breathe
The physical body of a person is connected with his psyche – and this is the first thing to remember if you are overwhelmed with emotions. Sit on a chair with a straight back or stand up – the main thing is that nothing distracts you. Feel the tension, mentally scan your body from the top of your head to your toes, paying attention to the solar plexus area, the stomach and lower abdomen, the muscles of the neck, arms and legs.
Try not to think, but just follow the movements of the body – what does it want? Maybe jump? Or stomp your feet? Push something away from you with your hands? Swing and do a left hook? Dance? Stretch? Maybe shout out your feelings (if you are not in the forest, then a pillow will help muffle the sounds and not scare your family)?
Just keep moving. And then return mentally to the emotion and repeat the same movements, feeling how the feeling passes through the body and goes into the ground or space.
2.Record
Keeping a diary is not new advice, but it is very common in therapeutic practice. Write down information about how you feel, and preferably by hand. If you are not sure about the privacy of information and are afraid that someone in the family will find your records, download one of the applications that are created just for this and are protected by a password.
Consistency is important here – write down your feelings every day, note what happens to you in different situations. If some emotion “goes off scale”, you can determine its intensity every day on a ten-point scale. You can also do one of the exercises here and rate again by comparing the results.
3. Speak
Who can listen to you without interrupting, not picking on your intonation and saying: “I’m not ready to talk about this”? Of course, an imaginary interlocutor. Or rather, the person with whom your strong experience is connected.
Most often, we react violently precisely to situations related to other people. Therefore, take 2 chairs, mentally “seat” the person you want to speak to on the second one, and speak. You can talk about the situation, but remember to emphasize your own feelings.
Having spoken out, you can do the second part of the exercise – sit on the chair of an imaginary interlocutor, introduce yourself to them and try to answer for him what he feels, how he sees this situation, how he reacts to your emotions. Sit back in your seat, give an answer if necessary, and, after finishing the conversation, just breathe calmly.
4.Visualize
This method is part of art therapy, it is used in work with children and adults. Sometimes we do not have enough words to describe, express what we feel. And imaginative thinking comes to the rescue. Draw on paper, mold from plasticine, or try to visualize your experience.
While visualizing, close your eyes and try to describe. What is it, your feeling? What color, shape, size? What are its boundaries – blurry or clear? Does he have a face, and if so, what kind? Does it look like some kind of animal, or is it a completely fantastic image? Does it have arms and legs, where does it live, what does it do?
You can talk with your visualized feeling, you can ask it what it needs – perhaps it will “ask” to feed it or send it to live where it will not bother you. You can agree with him or try to reduce it in size.
Imagination is a wonderful therapeutic tool, and even if you don’t use it very actively yet, it’s definitely worth a try.
5. Bring everything to the point of absurdity
This method seems paradoxical, but it can work. Most often, we try to somehow “curb” emotions, take control, and we strive to get rid of negative ones as soon as possible. What if it does the opposite? You are angry? Then tell yourself that you are angry.
Your anger is great. Huge as an elephant. Like 10 elephants. Like Lake Titicaca and Mount Kilimanjaro combined. She’s hot like a jalapeno. Like the hottest sauce in the world. It is so huge that there is nothing else – you feel only anger.
Try to feel only one thing and you will immediately notice that this is actually impossible. There is always something else besides your moon-sized swollen emotion that should fill you up. I want to drink. You have to reply to the message. It’s time to feed the kitty. A window blows in the back. Dogs are barking outside…
Ideally, your anger bursts like a soap bubble. This is a useful exercise that helps you understand that no matter how much a feeling captures you, you are not it. You are always more.
There is room in your head for thoughts on other topics, there are other experiences in your emotional background. This means that none of them can take possession of you, suppress you, destroy you. Sooner or later, any, even the strongest, feeling will pass. Fortunately, this is how our mind works.
And finally, I would like to warn you: if you are experiencing a traumatic experience or re-traumatization, if emotions seem completely unbearable to you, take care of your health and consult a specialist. In acute situations, this is a necessary and competent step.