5 Ways to Eat Sweets Without Remorse

“I love sweets! I’m a real sweetie. I don’t need anything else. I can do without food at all, live on some sweets. I know that it’s impossible, but … If there were no consequences, in the morning I would eat a croissant with coffee, for lunch – pancakes with jam, in the evening – a cake or cakes with tea.

I think many can imagine themselves in the place of this woman who dreams of a sweet life. But, of course, we don’t allow ourselves all this: it’s harmful, high-calorie, it’s impossible …

And let’s imagine this situation: one fine morning, our sweet tooth decides to go on a diet and completely give up sweets. It is not difficult to predict what will happen next. For several days she will honestly hold out: she will bypass bakeries and bread departments with the intoxicating aroma of cinnamon and vanilla, drive tempting thoughts from herself.

But sooner or later there will be a breakdown – in a week, two or even a few months. The first sweets eaten will be followed by the thought: “I ruined everything!” And then the last stronghold of willpower will collapse. Hello, remorse, self-hatred, the feeling that you will never get rid of excess weight.

Why don’t most sweet bans work? Why does the craving for him win in the end? There are two main reasons for this.

1. Physiological. We love the sweet taste since infancy. The fault is nature and evolution: in order to survive, we had to eat, and it was sugar (more precisely, glucose) that was the source of fast and affordable energy. And besides, sweet foods gave us pleasure.

More than 40 years ago, the Israeli doctor Jacob Steiner conducted a scientific study on this topic. A couple of hours after birth, solutions with different tastes were dripped onto the tongue of babies, observing facial expressions. “Testing” the sweet, the kids actively licked their upper lip, the muscles of their faces relaxed. Children clearly experienced pleasure, and no one taught them this – such is physiology.

2. Emotional. With rustling wrappers of sweets and chocolates, with crispy cookies and cakes melting in your mouth, childhood memories, emotions, and warmth are associated. Who would voluntarily refuse such a thing?

When we feel bad, lonely or hurt, an unconscious comfort mechanism comes into action, formed in childhood: many of us were given sweets to calm, cheer, distract. And now in adulthood, we want to continue to use this magical tool. And if in childhood we were often limited in sweets, growing up, we strive to compensate for this.

In short, many of us prefer the sweet taste to everything else. But why do you want sweets “always” and “a lot”? First, if you analyze it, it turns out that not “always”, but at very specific moments. Secondly, “a lot” in general is a vague concept.

sweet cravings

To learn to treat sweets more calmly, you first need to determine the source of your cravings. There may be several of them, because sweet is:

1. Energy source

From a physiological point of view, sweets play three main roles:

• Quickly and effectively (albeit temporarily) satisfies the feeling of hunger. If we have not eaten for half a day, then, having entered the kitchen and seen a bar of chocolate, we can hardly pass by. Such is the physiology: our body is in a hurry to make up for the lack of energy as quickly as possible.
• Hastens to help in case of excessive fatigue. When we feel low energy due to lack of sleep or a busy day at work, sweets play the role of a dope: they help us continue to function despite fatigue. We would have to rest, but no one canceled the case, and the wise brain “advises” us to eat.
• Indicates to us an insufficiently balanced diet. Often the body reports the absence of essential food components (for example, protein) precisely by cravings for sweets.

2. Consolation, reward

Sweet, as a rule, begins to play this role in our childhood. New Year’s gifts, consisting of sweets, ice cream as a reward for good behavior, chocolate as a consolation … This is how this connection is laid. And even when we become adults, sweets still fill us with a feeling of warmth, love, joy, and give us the opportunity to touch childhood.

And this is not good and not bad – it is quite a working mechanism. It is important to understand what our true need is and to find additional options to satisfy it. Not instead of, but in addition to sweets.

3. Sedative

Sweet literally relaxes our body and mind – however, again, temporarily. “When I’m stressed, sweets calm me down,” a client once admitted to me. – Recently, the boss said that I might be promoted soon. This is great news, but I’m so nervous! It’s a huge responsibility. And within a couple of minutes after the conversation, I finished the package of cookies. I knew perfectly well that I shouldn’t, but I was shaking so much at the thought that I might not be able to cope, and the sweet calmed me down for a while.

In part, it’s all about serotonin – it maintains our psycho-emotional balance. It is formed from tryptophan, an essential amino acid that we get from food. Tryptophan is converted to serotonin by the action of enzymes and with the help of carbohydrates. Therefore, we often hear that we get serotonin from carbohydrates. Not entirely of them, but with their help.

4. Pleasure

So, sweet leads to relaxation, causes positive emotions, excites our senses, which means that it is an undeniable pleasure. Problems begin when it becomes the only pleasure.

We can think of our personal pleasure map as the sun. One of the rays is sweet, the rest of the rays are different for everyone. But when the pleasures become less and less, sweets begin to take up empty places.

One client admitted that she always loved creating and traveling, but after having children and getting promoted at work, there was no place for creativity and travel in her life. “I myself did not notice how everything that gave me pleasure gradually faded away. Sweet has become the center of pleasure. Now it’s clear that I can’t refuse it.”

5. Protest “I’m here to decide”

It happens that sweets are associated with prohibitions and the struggle for control over what is on the plate, which means that it becomes a way to show your “I”: “I am already an adult and I decide what to eat.”

Usually no one already indicates, prohibitions stretch from childhood, but now we are struggling with our own adult, parental voice:

– You don’t have to eat it. You’re on a diet, and these are extra calories.

– But I want, and no one will tell me.

– Well, you are like a small child, look at yourself.

I will eat what I want and how much I want!

The struggle continues, only now our “opponent” is ourselves.

Conscious sweet choices

The craving for sweets, like a flashlight, indicates to us our real need. Understanding this need will help us make more informed choices that are not accompanied by remorse and a sense of loss of control.

1. Give yourself permission

It seems to us: if we allow ourselves something, then we will not be able to stop. But is it? What if you move sweet from the category of “forbidden fruit” to the category of ordinary delicious foods? The more we forbid it to ourselves, the more desirable it becomes.

We imagine how the cake turns into two extra pounds, toil, but the desire only grows. Paradox? Not really. Our brain does not see the connection between the cake and these kilograms, because in reality there is none. This is just a theory, and our brain loves hard facts. For example: I ate a cake – my stomach hurt. It is very clear: I feel bad about this product.

Continuing the struggle, we break down and fall into a vicious circle: abstinence – breakdown – disappointment in ourselves – abstinence – breakdown, and so on ad infinitum. It’s like holding onto a mountain river: no barrier will last long. When we allow ourselves something, it becomes calmer and easier for us to listen to our true desires.

2. Understand the role of sweets

When we understand our real need, it is easier for us to find the optimal solution. Just imagine: evening, after a busy day, we finally sit down to watch the series. We tend to sleep, eyes stick together …

– And now what – go to bed at 22:00? And when to live? So at least I’ll watch a movie, ”a client once complained. In order to stay awake, she takes a cookie, pours herself coffee and continues to watch the movie.

“Is this really life?”

– I am not sure. But somehow it’s quite a shame when all day you do only what you need, and not what you want …

It turns out that the point is not sweet, but the desire to take time for yourself and your needs. Understanding this, we can make a more conscious choice: to still afford sweets, but already aware of its true role, or to finally satisfy our real desires.

3. Choose quality sweets

It seems to many that “allowing yourself” means eating everything in a row, indiscriminately, but everything is just the opposite. Allowing ourselves something, we become more selective, we begin to pay attention to taste, texture, we ask ourselves an important question: “Do I really like this dessert?”

Respecting ourselves and our body, we will not eat products from low-quality ingredients and will give preference to homemade sweets or pastries from a good pastry shop. In such a dessert there will be not margarine, but butter, high-quality chocolate, and not its cheap counterpart. We will eat high-quality sweets more consciously, savoring every bite, and as a result we will eat less, because now we are more sensitive to feelings of hunger and satiety.

4. Eat sweets mindfully

“On the machine” you can eat a lot of sweets without even noticing and not feeling the taste. Unsatisfied, we will crave the “continuation of the banquet.” If we have chosen to eat sweets, it is important to really enjoy them.

To be satisfied, we need all five senses: sight, smell, touch, hearing and taste. The more sense organs are involved while eating, the more pleasure we get.

Once a client admitted: “I finally realized what kind of sweet I like, and which one does not give me pleasure at all. But I thought I was omnivorous! But it turned out that I don’t like jelly, liquid desserts, puddings at all.”

5. Learn to forgive yourself for your mistakes.

Many of us perceive any failure or mistake as a failure – it seems that they cancel out our success. We want everything to always work out, but it doesn’t happen that way. We often succumb to temptations, and that’s okay. Sometimes we have the resources to be aware and choose, and sometimes we are caught in a whirlpool of emotions and desires that we are unable to fight.

It is very important to become more patient and tolerant of yourself. Remind yourself often that as we learn new skills, we will make mistakes from time to time, and this is natural and normal. Praise and support lead to the desired results faster than self-flagellation and sanctions.

It makes no sense to fight with sweets – just like with ourselves. Sweet is not an enemy or a friend to us, but simply a delicious product that can give pleasure. Let’s give him that role back. Let’s learn to distinguish between when we just want a sweet taste (this is completely natural), when the craving is emotional, and when it indicates a feeling of hunger. Each case will have its own actions.

Who is at the helm – us or sweets? What sweet, our flashlight, is trying to point out to us? By understanding the reason, we can respond to the real need and return the sweet to its original place.