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Moms and dads strive to give their child the best, and this is commendable. However, sometimes they run out of power. How to understand that you are threatened with parental burnout, and prevent it? The psychotherapist Olga Markina tells.
In Russia, every second respondent declares emotional burnout at work. The situation abroad is not much different: according to a study by American scientists, 9,8 million working mothers in the United States suffer from burnout in the workplace. The summer period only complicates the situation: children have holidays, parents have a double load. After all, not everyone has dachas and grandmothers who will stay with the child while mom and dad are at work.
Without a doubt, external factors can create stress that quickly leads to burnout. But are we able to change the reality around us? And if not, does this mean that we are doomed to exhaustion?
Be that as it may, we can definitely change our attitude to what is happening and begin to feel better. The practice of mindfulness and mindfulness will help us in this.
Stages of development of emotional burnout
Emotional burnout develops in stages. These are these four stages:
- Tension. False expectations or imbalances between the individual and the environment create tension.
- Stress. Prolonged tension develops into chronic stress.
- Physiological, affective, behavioral reactions. Stress leads to “system failures”.
- Physical and emotional exhaustion. Constant “failures in the system” make us feel discouraged, feel psychological discomfort.
The good news is that we can prevent burnout. The main desire!
What helps prevent and relieve symptoms of burnout
For starters, it’s important to take your burnout seriously. If you ignore it, the consequences can be extremely serious: you are threatened with cognitive decline, impaired attention and memory, disruption of the endocrine, cardiovascular systems, and other problems.
All this can be avoided by developing mindfulness and awareness. What kind of feelings and experiences should be cultivated in yourself?
1. The trust
Trust is the key to the formation of a successful and healthy way of thinking. The opposite of trust is fear. Parents tend to worry about the future of their child. But if you constantly live in fear and doubt, how far can it lead? It is important to focus on the new opportunities that the situation opens up for us, and not be afraid that the worst will happen.
2. Dropping expectations
To be removed from the expectations that we keep yourself – a difficult task. We want too much from our children, and sometimes we project our unfulfilled dreams onto them. But these expectations are creations of our own mind. Sometimes they are very different from real life, causing disappointment. How would your life change if you gave up control of the future and simply immersed yourself in the present moment?
3. Patience
We live in a world of high speeds and multitasking. Under these conditions, it is important to develop patience. Trying to cover everything and be in time can lead to self-abasement and anxiety. Slowing down and focusing on the present moment is essential to train your mind and body to stay calm. As a rule, among the many cases, you can always isolate the main thing, set priorities and the order in which tasks are performed. But the hurry and impatience – are not the best assistants in such a situation.
4. Acceptance
Accepting life as it is can be challenging. When parents are powerless, everything can annoy them, even their beloved child. In such a situation, you must regret yourself and take your fatigue. And your imperfection. Think of yourself with tenderness and warmth, listen to your condition without judgment.
5. “Beginner Approach”
Raising children is not an easy task, and difficult situations arise along the way. However, many problems exist in our head rather than in real life. You can often find a solution by looking at the situation from a new angle, as if through the eyes of a beginner or a child. This is how we move away from ingrained judgments and move beyond limiting beliefs. We open the way for change and rethinking. So, we can find new answers and see new opportunities.
Develop aspects of mindfulness: this will give strength even in difficult circumstances, strengthen the nervous system and improve the state of mind.
About the Developer
Olga Markina – psychotherapist, psychiatrist, sexologist, author of the book on harmonious relationships “Bridge to Communication”. Read more on her .