Psychological traumas received in childhood can affect our entire destiny. But do not despair – we are able to correct the situation. We tell you how you can heal spiritual wounds and change the trajectory of your life path.
TikTok users have started a trend in which they share with each other the results of the test “What wounds prevent you from being yourself” with the hashtags #testtrauma and #testnamasks.
We have already talked about the theory of five childhood traumas of the Canadian psychologist Liz Burbo. But theory is not enough – now let’s move on to practice!
After all, realizing our deep traumas, we often find ourselves at a loss and do not know what to do. Our first reaction is to want to get rid of them as soon as possible. But do not immediately give in to the impulse.
“The desire to immediately get rid of injuries is a sign of rejection, not acceptance. It can be compared to how a person seeks to get rid of excess weight: instead of accepting, he rejects himself. We already know that if we manage to “get rid” of something or someone (if our desire is connected with rejection), then this is temporary and the situation will repeat itself with even greater force – perhaps in a different form, but still we will suffer from it, ”explains Liz Burbo.
She argues that our ego – willful and capricious – creates protective masks in response to a spiritual wound. These masks are meant to protect us from the pain caused by trauma.
“The ego is constantly trying to fix, “freeze” the course of events, denying changes in any way possible. Its characteristic feature is suffering, ”the psychologist emphasizes. According to Bourbo, in order to begin the process of healing from traumas, it is first of all important to realize how great the influence of the ego is in our lives.
How does trauma occur?
This usually happens in four stages.
1. Initially, the child perceives the world clearly and uncomplicatedaccepting all your needs and requirements. He can just be himself.
2. He soon realizes that his natural behavior often causes dissatisfaction. surrounding adults. He is in pain because he is forbidden to be the way he is.
3. Pain often provokes protest., rebellion and outbursts of aggression.
4. To relieve suffering, the child changes his personalityadapting to the needs of others.
It is at the last two stages that protective masks arise. Often they repeat the masks of our parents, and because of this, hidden resentments are formed against them. Subconsciously, we want to have other role models.
“The most important thing for healing traumas is to accept them, stop being angry at them and realize that our ego creates these masks for the best of intentions – trying to protect us from pain,” emphasizes Liz Burbo.
At the same time, the healing process also takes place in four stages, returning us to contact with our true self:
1. It all starts with the awareness of protective masksthat we wear.
2. We have an internal protest, we refuse to accept responsibility, we begin to blame others for our suffering.
3. We then give ourselves permission to feel the depth of our pain. and resentment towards one or both parents. Remembering how we suffered in childhood, we are imbued with sympathy for our inner child. And the more compassion we feel, the more we can change. In addition, we become more empathic with the suffering of our parents and forgive them.
4. We finally become ourselves again. We feel we no longer need to wear masks to protect ourselves. We realize that life is infinitely diverse and any new experience gives us the opportunity to learn something. Now we are able to truly love ourselves.
When we take off our protective mask, we discover that it hides many of our strengths. Each mask has its own. And now they are finally able to fully open up.
1. Mask of flight (wound of rejection)
● Strong personalities, able to endure a lot
● Talented, creative, inventive, have a rich imagination
● Great at working alone
● Efficient, think through everything to the smallest detail
● In an emergency, they are not lost, they are able to act
● Do not have a great need for communication. Can be happy and alone
2. The mask of the “junkie” (wound of rejection)
● Know what they want and are able to achieve it. Persistent and not ready to give up
● Good actors. Able to draw attention to themselves
● Cheerful, joyful, sociable personalities – literally radiate the joy of life
● Genuinely interested in others, empathize with them, willingly help
● For all their sociability, sometimes they need to be alone to “recharge”
3. Masochist mask (wound of humiliation)
● Understand and respect their own needs
● Feel the boundaries of others, do not violate their freedom
● Good at being mediators, reconciling people. Able to look at a situation from a different perspective
● Capable of having fun, having fun
● Naturally generous, ready to help, artistic
● Good organizers. Know their abilities
● Sensual, know how to enjoy love relationships
● Proud individuals, with a developed sense of self-worth
4. Mask of the “overseer” (wound of betrayal)
● Developed leadership abilities
● With their strength they are able to protect others and inspire confidence in them
● Very talented. Sociable, good acting skills
● Great at speaking in front of an audience
● Are good at identifying other people’s talents and helping them gain self-confidence
● Able to delegate responsibility, helping subordinates develop
● Quickly recognize the emotions of other people, know how to defuse the situation, make them laugh
● Ability to quickly switch between different tasks and handle multiple tasks at the same time
● Able to make quick decisions. They know how to select an effective team.
● Believe in their inner strength. Able to let go if needed
5. Hard mask (wound of injustice)
● Very careful. Can perform work that requires jewelry precision
● Caring, diligent, attentive to detail
● They are able to explain and teach in a simple and understandable way
● Sensitive, easy to pick up the emotions of others
● Good at finding the right person for a specific task
● Perfectly choose the right words for each situation
● Dynamic, enthusiastic
● Don’t need others to be happy
● Doesn’t get lost in emergency situations, doesn’t try to escape, able to face difficulties head on