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Are you a loving person? In response to this question, many will nod, almost without thinking: “Yes, of course!” And then somewhere in the depths of their souls they will hear the voice of inner doubts: “But yesterday I refused to help my friend…” It seems that a loving person is a sinless altruist. Is it so? And can they be?
“Do I truly love others? After all, this morning I yelled at my parents, my children drive me crazy, I forgot to call my friend when he was having a hard time … In the end, I cursed the driver who cut me off on the road.
Does all this mean that you cannot be a loving person? Of course not. Such things are quite natural, because we are not perfect and periodically become victims of circumstances or hostages of stress. Nevertheless, it is love that helps to cope with experiences. Therefore, if we increased the amount of love in everyday life, stress would cease to be such a big problem.
So what are the traits of truly loving people? What should be cultivated in oneself in order to become the same?
1. They take care of themselves first.
People who love without any sense of guilt invest time and energy in themselves, because they understand how important it is.
Many people have problems with self-esteem and self-love. At the same time, in most cases, psychotherapists advise one thing – to stand in front of a mirror, sometimes even naked, and repeat affirmations. But this method does not always work. Yes, and each person needs a special, individual approach, especially in such a delicate matter.
Think about how you could take care of yourself. Perhaps it will be a massage or a long walk? Exercise or better nutrition? Maybe a new skill is to stop yourself whenever a self-critical and destructive thought appears in your head? It doesn’t matter where you start the change. The main thing is that this will be the first step in the right direction.
2. They don’t expect gratitude.
The words and behavior of such people in relation to their loved ones are always thought out, weighed and radiate love. They don’t have important conversations on the run, they always sit and listen carefully. Such people freely give their time and energy: they always remember friends and family, so they call and write to them without a special good reason. And most importantly, they do not expect gratitude, but share love for free, as long as it does not harm themselves.
3. They accept love easily.
Loving people easily not only give, but also receive love. But there are those for whom this is a real test – to feel and receive someone else’s love without feeling guilty.
Many have experienced traumatic events in their childhood that have made them afraid of love. Years later, already in adulthood, such people can deliberately destroy relationships in which they are loved. That is, out of fear of losing love, they are ready to give it up themselves. And yet everyone can learn to accept love. To do this, you need to take the first step – to recognize that it is always fraught with risk.
4. They know how to forgive
Forgiving is hard. Often we think that we have forgiven, but as soon as something appears that can provoke us, anger and resentment boil inside again. These scars somehow remain on the heart – only very rare people can completely get rid of them. For everyone else, it’s enough just to loosen your grip and try to let go of the situation so that it can no longer affect our lives.
5. They have compassion for all mankind
The love of such people extends far beyond their own person, their family and loved ones. It is not easy to maintain such an all-encompassing feeling all the time, because we all sometimes get lost in stress and anxiety. But loving people do not give up – their love shines on the whole world.