Have you noticed that people with high self-esteem are very different from those who are not confident in themselves? Even after losing their job or going through a difficult divorce, they do not begin to doubt themselves, their abilities and strengths. Is it possible to become like them?
1.Confidence
A strange and rather banal start to the list, isn’t it? And yet this quality needs some explanation. The fact is that confident people are not born (or, at least, not only born) – they are made. And such a person can become at any age, regardless of all previous experience. You can cultivate this quality in yourself and, having acquired it, begin to instill confidence in others.
When a person begins to believe in himself, there are practically no things left that he would be incapable of. Most of the doors open in front of him. Life becomes better and happier – and not only for the person himself, but also for his close circle.
2. Observation
It is believed that the youngest child in the family has an advantage. Another psychotherapist Alfred Adler wrote that such a boy or girl gets a chance to watch older brothers and sisters make friends, build boundaries, make mistakes and do something for the first time – and this becomes an excellent school for him or her.
However, you can develop observation in yourself at any age, and even if you were an only child. Do a simple exercise: sitting in a cafe or in a park, observe how the people around you behave.
How they greet each other, communicate, flirt. Do some smile more than others, listen more carefully, ask more questions? Most likely, you have self-confident people in front of you – they really treat the interlocutor more attentively, observe him, are interested in his life and problems and give deeper and more meaningful answers.
Next to a self-confident person, we feel good and calm, we ourselves begin to feel a little more confident. And, watching him, we can eventually become like that ourselves.
3. Ability to adapt
As children, many of us think that the school “clown”, the main “clown” in the class, is very confident. This is mistake. Most likely, such a child has very low self-esteem, and he needs the attention of others – no matter what the cost.
And, on the other hand, there are people who instinctively turn around at the mere appearance of whom in the room – not because they dress brightly or behave provocatively. It’s just that their confidence attracts attention.
But the main thing is that such people perfectly adapt to situations and circumstances. This means that they easily find a common language with children and adults, people of different social status and position, without doing anything specifically for this. Except by watching.
4. Ability to pretend
Confident people are great at pretending, but not because they like to lie. They just know that this is the best way to get comfortable in a new role or in a situation that is unnerving.
They can pretend to be relaxed and confident in a new company or in public speaking – and sooner or later really start to feel like that. Or imagine that others initially sympathize with them, and really gain universal sympathy.
So it’s worth trying out their approach at your next opportunity, like when you’re at a party where you don’t know anyone, or when your boss asks you to give a presentation.
5. Striving to be better
Probably, each of us at least once thought about the fact that literally everyone around us lives a richer, brighter and more prosperous life than we do. And there are two ways: give up, spitting on everything, or try to become that very “best version of yourself”.
Confident people don’t give up. They find a landmark and strive for it. They become the very people who know how to act in a given situation – or at least pretend until they get it right.