Faces, faces, faces… Questions, answers, questions again… We get confused in the interlocutors – to whom and what they told, what they asked about themselves. Why can’t we stop at one and keep looking? We delete the application from the smartphone, fed up with acquaintances, and then install it again …
Modern dating sites, it would seem, are able to read our thoughts and seem to select partners for us: “You are made for each other!” or “He is your ideal.” But the applications are like open boxes of candies: you want to try each one, your eyes widen, and you can’t immediately understand which candy is tastier than the others …
Swipe is the movement of a finger across the screen that has become familiar to us. Swiped to the left – a new contender for the heart appeared. Swiped to the right – the photo was added to favorites and the hero from the photo found out that we liked it. But here’s the problem: after talking with him a little, we go looking further.
“Search is like a series that you get addicted to and you can’t stop. And this beauty, and that one … I leaf through Badoo and I’m afraid to miss the only one that was created just for me. Candidates rain down on me like from a cornucopia. Here’s a new one, and I’ve already seen this one, but she added a nice photo. It’s addictive!” – shares 38-year-old Anton.
It turns out that sometimes we like the search process itself more, but we forget about the result. Do all of us eventually go on a real date? Isn’t it harmful to get stuck at the selection stage?
“At some point, I felt like I was overeating. I began to be annoyed by the same type of questions, banal greetings. And even to the original “tackles” I stopped reacting as before. She deleted her Tinder account. I assured myself and my friends that you can really match only in real life. And that online dating kills time and is of no benefit in the long run. It took me two weeks. The application was successfully reinstalled and the search continued. I’m afraid to burn out again. But I can’t live without a website anymore,” says 32-year-old Alexandra.
To break the vicious cycle of satiety and burnout, here are some tips to keep your time in the app from being wasted.
1. Set a viewing quota
On the toilet, on the train, while waiting for coffee at your favorite cafe – how often do we kill time by swiping the screen? Before it becomes a bad habit, set a quota for yourself. For example, after 10 swipe-swipes a day, you stop and exit the application, or stop considering and adding new candidates, but study the ones already selected more carefully.
2. Focus on one application
There are many dating apps, but do you need to install them all at once? Stop at one, maximum two. Many believe that the more choice, the greater the chance. Alas, experienced users assure that the attention we pay to potential partners decreases in proportion to the growth in the number of applications. Each application has its own target audience. Find out which suits your age or lifestyle and use it. Decide on one site. This will save your nerves, because there will be less disappointment.
3. Ask Important Questions Right Away
What’s the point of hanging out with a lot of candidates for a long time, if in the end it turns out that you completely disagree on something very important. Some do not want to play sports, and you are an athlete, others do not read books, and you are a book lover, others support a political party that you do not approve of. You know what you don’t want and should be clear about it. Please do not be afraid of topics such as the desire to have children and the willingness to move to another city or country. Better to discuss it on the shore.
4. Delete apps if you meet an interesting person
There’s bound to be someone better on the site. But the likelihood that he will suddenly write while you are on a successful date with another is extremely small. Therefore, if you meet a person you like, delete the dating app. Try to get to know each other better. And if nothing happens, the old profile can always be restored.
5. Be mindful of the real world
If you have settled in the virtual world, remember that there is a world around besides it. Long-term relationships are still more likely to be between friends, colleagues, or casual acquaintances outside of smartphone apps. Spontaneous flirting in the park is more likely to make you happier than the XNUMXth candidate from the application who for some reason stopped responding.