We love our children. There is no doubt that we simply adore them. Everything we do is only for the best of reasons: even when we shove another spoonful of hateful soup into them, take them to the doctor to get vaccinated, or leave them in kindergarten for the whole day.
But what to do: sometimes, psychologists say, it is difficult for children to understand that soup and vaccination are from great love. Therefore, they insist, it is necessary to express your love for children more often in the most understandable way – in words.
Repeat “I love you” at least every 15 minutes – it will not be worse. But this is not the most important thing, psychologists continue: a child should feel parental support — in specific situations and in principle. Psychologists have even deduced 5 main phrases that a parent should say to a child every day, so that he grows up confident in himself and in the fact that he is loved, an adult.
1. “I believe you”
It sounds pretentious and a little forced, but these are very important words. Trust is one of the main components of mutual understanding, and children feel it very much. According to a survey conducted by the University of South Carolina a few years ago, one in two teenagers complained that their parents did not believe them. They do not believe that he was unfairly given a deuce, that he really does not feel well, that he has already called his grandmother, and so on. Psychologists say that the roots of this conflict between fathers and children are precisely in the lack of expressed trust in childhood. Children invent stories, justify themselves with tall tales, and even invent friends. Tell your child that you believe him-even if it is not true: it is not yet essential from the point of view of the truth, but it is this that will lay the foundation for his future relationship with the world.
2. “Never give up”
These are magic words: in numerous ratings of the most inspiring phrases, this mantra comes out on top. In addition to teaching the child an important life principle, saying it in difficult situations for him (from a non-breaking puzzle to the first unrequited love), you share with him his difficulties and seem to get involved in a joint struggle. You will not give up together and you will cope with all the difficulties together. Such a joint living of difficult moments of children’s life is the key to a strong friendship.
3. “Everyone makes mistakes sometime”
Teach your child not to get upset because of mistakes and troubles. Explain to him that even the toughest professionals in any business started with punctures, that in the lives of the most successful people there are failures and that the bravest knights are sometimes afraid to fight with the enemy. This will be useful for your child in the future. But the main thing is that it will help him to come to terms with his imperfection – and this is a very difficult test that every child faces sooner or later. And he will also understand that you accept and love him for who he is.
4. “I’m sorry”
There is nothing more important than asking for forgiveness when you are guilty. Even if you’re looking at a three-month-old baby. It is believed that the more often a child is asked for forgiveness – in quarrels or everyday situations – the more acutely he will feel the injustice in the world around him. In the sense that the example of your wrongness is the best way to explain to the child how important it is to apologize and how important it is to apologize to you. These feelings are largely based on the subsequent sense of self-esteem. In addition, it will make the child feel that you perceive him on an equal footing: there will be no limit to gratitude.
5. ” Everything will be fine»
The sense of security that these words give is priceless. The child needs to feel someone behind his back-literally and figuratively. It is equally important to be able to hope. It’s great if the person behind you also gives you confidence that you hope absolutely correctly. Putting on together is even better. In this way, you share not only the present with its problems and difficulties, but also all the good things in the future.
Children can only hear all these necessary words of support, comfort, and inspiration from their loved ones. And next to us there are children who do not have this main support-a loving family.
We can help children from orphanages find their parents by sharing their video questionnaires. Become the Guardian Angel of a child who does not have a loved one!