There are several forms of asexuality, the common point of which is that the perceived sexual desire is either absent, or weak and rare, and is not directed towards a person.

An asexual person (also called Ace in common parlance) feels no sexual attraction to anyone. So, just as a heterosexual does not feel attraction for a person of the same sex, the asexual does not feel it for anyone. For Ace people, a romantic relationship is bound to be platonic. Yes, as sex exists without love, the reverse is also possible!

 

There are also “aromantics” who have no romantic attraction to anyone. On the other hand, aromantics may very well experience a sexual attraction towards other people, in other words, being queer.

It is not a specter in the sense of “ghost” that would haunt Ace people, but specter as a range of sexual orientations that are part of asexuality. Not all asexuals are the same : “demi-sexuals” can feel sexual attraction in very particular cases, when they have created a very strong bond with someone; the “gray-sexuals” very rarely feel sexual attraction; “akoisexuals” may feel an attraction which fades when it becomes reciprocal; an “influx” may have a sexuality that varies over time: he may feel no attraction most of the time, and at other times in his life, he may feel weak. Some asexuals may also have fantasies about someone but not want to make them come true.

The asexual does not decide not to be attracted to other people, it is not a decision like celibacy, nor a lack of libido. The body of an asexual can respond to sexual stimulation without wanting another person, he may even seek to have relations only for sexual pleasure or to give pleasure to his partner, without being attracted to it. him or her.

Sexual orientation is never the object of a mental disorder and the case of asexuals is no exception. For an Ace person, finding a partner is often difficult, as sexuality is a norm in the couple. As a result, their lives can be lonely and painful, going through awkward situations where they force themselves to be “like other people” and feel ashamed. Asexuality is not a problem, there is nothing to cure. The sexual attraction is not there, it is like that.

Multiple studies show it: asexuals are not necessarily disgusted by sex. Quite simply, this practice does not interest them. Some may even wish to have a child to both transmit their affection and continue their lineage. But in their mind, these maternal feelings are disconnected from the sexual act.

 

Gabriela Puerta

 

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