5 things kids remember about their parents
Psychologists say that these are not isolated actions or words, not events or even gifts. It’s more of a sensation.
What do you remember about your early childhood? About mom and dad? Some events are deeply engraved in memory, so that you will not erase for years. And sometimes strange things are remembered: how the sun shines through the curtains in the morning, how my mother’s voice sounds from behind the wall, how fresh coffee smells in the kitchen in the morning … You cannot call this events, you cannot call actions. But all these general impressions are very important. They create a kind of oasis in the memory of the child, which will give strength at a difficult moment. Psychologists have compiled a list of five points that children remember about their parents and childhood for the rest of their lives. If you follow them, you are much more likely to raise a happy and balanced person. And you know, they offer to do not so difficult things.
There are many fears in the heart of every child. And along with them – an urgent need to be protected. Your kids will remember how you chased monsters out from under the bed or hugged them after a nightmare. However, they will also remember those times when, in a fit of anger, you yourself turned into the monster that they feared. That is why psychologists conjure: in no case do you quarrel in front of children, do not take evil on them. They will not really understand what is happening, but they will remember your intonations and the horror they experienced.
Children measure love primarily by how attentive you are to them. If you put off your business to participate in a tea ceremony or jump on a trampoline with them, it will forever remain in their hearts. And even to be distracted for five minutes from the super important business to hug, ruffle your hair, ask (and listen!) How your baby’s day went – you have no idea how valuable it is. Any 10-20 minutes of lively, warm and truly engaged communication a day can work wonders. Take time to do small things with your children, because in the end, these are the moments that mean the most in life.
What is love, what should be the relationship in the family – we teach our children this continuously. Simply by the very fact of their existence, parents set the norms for interaction with the opposite sex. It is not for nothing that they say that boys are looking for wives who are similar to their mothers, and girls are looking for husbands similar to their fathers. Try to make your marriage so that the children, if not aspiring to start a family, then at least not afraid to do so. Give them the confidence that comes from a loving and strong father-mother union.
4. Words of approval and criticism
A child’s heart is like plasticine. But over time, plasticine becomes tougher. The prints that remained on it in childhood remain on it forever, they cannot be erased. The sense of self-importance, measure of ability, belief in your talent and even self-respect will largely depend on the words that you say to them while they are still small. It is the responsibility of parents to correct children’s behavior and teach them discipline, but at the same time, your words should be filled with love and positive support. So anyway, Patheos research recommends,
Children love surprises, but they have a deep need for predictability. They will remember with great pleasure any traditions you have created, be it a weekly family trip to the cinema, to hockey, a trip to the lake, grandmother’s birthday cake, special salad for a holiday. Deliberately create traditions that they will want to pass on to their children – your grandchildren.