Contents
- 5 things every dad wants to teach his daughter
- 1. I want my daughter to know: I am always there
- 2. I want her to be able to avoid violence
- 3. I want my daughter to know: women are as cheerful as men
- 4. I will prove to my daughter that there is no limit to her capabilities
- 5. I want my daughter to know how much I have learned from her
5 things every dad wants to teach his daughter
What father doesn’t want only the best for his child? Probably just a failed one. But a lot depends on what daddy himself can give to his child.
On the Internet, there are many lists from the “Things that a father owes” series. But how can you scratch one size fits all relationships, which are unique in each case? In an attempt to ignore this inconvenient fact, note writers often use clichés like “Inspire your daughter that she is unique.” And everything would be fine, but no one explains how to do it. Nobody but dad whose lessons one published .
1. I want my daughter to know: I am always there
I think most fathers, especially if a guy does not have a sister or was raised in a patriarchal family, do not always understand what it means to raise a daughter. They load their little ones with gifts: let them feel special, “little princesses”. I am a simple writer, so I do not have a lot of money and the opportunity to prove her uniqueness to my daughter through expensive gifts. Instead of dolls, jewelry and video games, I give her myself, my time and attention. And I’m not sure if I had even a money printing machine, I would have acted differently.
My gifts for my daughter: put my phone and computer aside and take her to school in the morning, go to the basketball court before lunch, spend half an hour on homework or go boating on the lake during the holidays – just her and me. All your daughter needs to make her feel like the most important person in your world is your presence at a school play or a basketball game. Full presence, no freeze on the phone. This is much more valuable than the coolest and most expensive doll you can find.
2. I want her to be able to avoid violence
After reading the Internet, I realized that most fathers are obsessed with the idea of teaching their daughters to fight. The motives are clear: it is important to teach your daughter to defend herself in the event of an attack. But, in my opinion, it is much more important to teach my daughter to avoid situations in which the ability to fight can be useful.
I also taught my daughter to box – as best I could. But only because we both liked it. Of course, I’m a little safer because she can stand up for herself. But first of all, I teach my daughter to avoid conflicts. And if it doesn’t work out, then how to dodge, dodge the blow and run away.
3. I want my daughter to know: women are as cheerful as men
My son is 10, and he thinks the expression “diarrhea” is very funny. I tried to explain to him that for any person over 11 years old this expression will not be funny at all, moreover, for any person from 12 to 100 years old, the very word “diarrhea” is associated with something rude, awkward and inappropriate.
At the same time, my daughter has a great sense of humor. But for some reason she giggles at her brother’s outhouse jokes – probably just to support him.
Perhaps my son will still learn to joke well when toilet humor outgrows. But after all, the daughter is already cheerful and humorous, she simply does not understand this. I want my daughter to know that she knows how to joke, that women know how to joke, despite the statements of many people to the contrary – they themselves cannot make anyone laugh.
4. I will prove to my daughter that there is no limit to her capabilities
And I will not give up. It’s cool to tell your daughter that she can be anything when she grows up. True, without convincing and realistic evidence, your statement is not worth a penny. So yeah, my daughter and I watched the Democratic National Convention, listened to the acceptance speech of Hillary Clinton, who became the first woman presidential candidate from one of the most influential parties in the country (to be honest, we think the speech was boring, but making history was not always an interesting activity). In any case, now when I tell her that she can become whoever she wants, and my daughter, looking at me with big brown eyes, will clarify: “Even the president?”, I can answer: “Of course, dear!” And not in the way I tell her what the Easter bunny does when it’s not Easter.
5. I want my daughter to know how much I have learned from her
I had a dream to accustom my daughter to all the “cool” musical groups that I listened to myself. Instead, she listens to Katy Perry. Well, cool … I’m not a music snob. And I’m certainly not going to become one, so I listen to Katy Perry with my daughter … Then I listen to Katy Perry myself. Now I can say that she makes fun pop music perfect for middle-aged men who jump rope. And most of her later creations carry a certain message that is very necessary for young ladies such as my daughter. So why not love Katy Perry’s creativity?
And here’s what else all these “father should” lists are missing. My daughter makes me think bigger, try new things, step out of my comfort zone. When we talk about what fathers should teach their daughters, we are missing out on everything they can teach us in return. I can make a list of hundreds of points that my daughter taught me. But instead, I’d rather say, “Thank you for bringing Katy Perry to me, baby.”