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Do you consider yourself psychologically strong and stable person? Even so, it is hardly possible for you to always remain unbending and endure any blows of fate. Most of us tend to at least sometimes give up or, on the contrary, boil when the level of stress goes off scale. This is fine. The good news is that each of us can become a little stronger.
1. Learn to live in the gray zone
Most people are afraid of uncertainty. We prefer to live by simple and clear rules. Routines, lists, achievable goals. We divide everything into black and white and diligently avoid gray. But in vain: uncertainty is an integral part of life, and one must learn to accept it, as well as all the difficulties that may be encountered along the way.
How to do it?
Leave empty lines in the schedule – at this time you can do what you want or what you see fit. If it is difficult, at first set aside small time intervals for this, gradually increasing their duration. And finally start saying yes to spontaneous offers, invitations and opportunities. Improvise. As a rule, the best things that happen to us in life are not planned in advance.
2. Don’t compare yourself to others
“The only person you should compare yourself to is yourself.” It would seem a common truth, but how many follow it? Looking back at others, comparing our success with the achievements of others, we stop enjoying what we do. And, of course, in this race for others, we are constantly dissatisfied with ourselves. It’s time to fix it.
How to do it?
Make it a habit at the end of each week to mark your own progress: what you have done, what you have achieved, what you have learned. And if you realize that you are again comparing yourself to someone, watching someone else’s life in social networks, just put your phone down.
3. Stop living with long-term goals
Of course, goals and prospects are not bad. But, concentrating on the prize looming in the distance, we cease to enjoy the moment, to be aware of ourselves here and now, to enjoy the path itself.
How to do it?
Focus on the process, on the work itself, and not on what will happen when you reach your cherished goal. Do not spray: do one thing at a time.
4. Have a mental piggy bank of success
Everyone tends to notice more what does not work than what succeeds. This is normal and generally beneficial for development. The problem is that in this way we devalue ourselves and our achievements, even if they are insignificant. It is important to remember what we are doing so that the next time the brain knows: we successfully coped with some tasks before – we can do it now.
How to do it?
Remember all the successes over the past years and be sure to write them down. This list will become the “material evidence” that the brain needs so much. Is it difficult to immediately mentally cover a large period? Start with a month or a week – even if it didn’t turn out to be very successful, there was probably something that you brought to the end.
5. If something upsets you, do not rush to act.
Psychologists have this phrase: “stay with it.” That is, do not rush to react or switch from unpleasant feelings to something more positive. This is extremely important. This is the most important item on the list. So, if you have the resource to do one thing, it is worth trying to master this particular skill.
How to do it?
If something pissed you off, shocked, saddened, just stay with these feelings. Mark them, determine what exactly you are experiencing. Feel them in your body and let them subside gradually. Do not fight them, and they will retreat, like a wave that has rolled on a stone.