Throughout life at different times – and sometimes at the same time! We face many kinds of bad news. There can be many severe shocks along the way: loss of a job, breakup of a relationship, miscarriage, a shocking diagnosis from a doctor, the death of a loved one…
Bad news can be devastating, annoying, and sometimes turn your whole world upside down.
Receiving bad news can instantly affect the body, causing it to “fight or flight”: adrenaline jumps, and the mind begins to rush between the worst scenarios of the situation.
Among other things, you may have to cope with the consequences of bad events: look for a new job, pay bills, meet doctors or break the news to friends and family, and deal with the physical and mental impact of bad news on you.
Everyone reacts differently to stress and trauma, but everyone can deal with bad news, develop a coping mechanism, and make the situation less traumatic. Here are 5 steps to accepting bad news!
1. Accept your negative emotions
Receiving bad news can set off an endless whirlpool of negative emotions, which people often begin to deny in order to protect themselves.
The University of California at Berkeley conducted a study that showed that avoiding negative emotions can cause more stress than directly confronting them. Researchers have found that accepting dark emotions instead of resisting them can help you feel better in the long run.
Participants who generally accepted their negative emotions experienced fewer of them afterwards and therefore improved their mental health compared to those who avoided negative emotions.
2. Don’t run from bad news
Just as people suppress negative emotions, many people also tend to avoid bad news and push everything that is associated with it out of their thoughts. But in most cases, avoiding the current situation is illogical, and, in the end, you only think about it more.
Fighting the urge to think about bad news can lead to stomach, shoulder, and chest tension, loss of focus, chronic stress, digestive problems, and lethargy.
Your brain is much better at handling negative news than you think. It is by processing and digesting the experience that you can let go of these thoughts and begin to move on.
Tel Aviv University in Israel that repeated exposure to a negative event can neutralize its effect on your thoughts and mood.
Researchers say that if, for example, before you start working, you read a newspaper article about a tragedy, it is better to read the article carefully and repeatedly expose yourself to this information than to try not to think about the event. Repeating exposure to bad news several times will make you feel freer and able to continue your day without any negative consequences and be in a good mood.
Another, conducted by the University of Arizona at Tucson, also supports the concept of re-exposure. The team found that in situations that cause intense distress, such as a breakup or divorce, constant reflection on what happened can speed up emotional recovery.
3. Look at what happened from a different perspective
The next step is to rethink how you view the event. It is impossible to control everything that happens to us in life, but you can try to use the so-called “cognitive reframing” technique to control your reaction to what is happening.
The bottom line is to interpret an unpleasant event in a different, more positive way, to highlight the positive and brighter aspects of the event.
For example, if you get fired from your job, don’t try to figure out why it happened. Instead, look at the situation as a chance to try something new!
As shown by the University of Notre Dame in Indiana, losing a job and hitting rock bottom can even be a beneficial event, allowing people to start a new chapter in their lives, have new positive work experiences and release negative emotions.
Researchers at the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign found that it’s also helpful to focus on the contextual elements of a negative memory rather than the emotional experience. Obsessing over how hurt, sad, or embarrassing you were during an unpleasant event, you condemn yourself to even worse health later. If you take your mind off negative emotions and think of a contextual element—like a friend who was there, or the weather that day, or any other non-emotional aspect—your mind will be distracted from unwanted emotions.
4. Learn to overcome adversity
Failing a college exam, being denied a job, or having a bad experience with your boss are just some of the situations that can cause frustration or a sense of failure.
Almost everyone faces these difficulties at one time or another, but some people cope better with them. Some give up at the first obstacle, while others have a resilience that allows them to remain calm even under pressure.
Fortunately, everyone can develop resilience and learn to overcome adversity by working on their thoughts, actions, and behaviors.
This was confirmed, for example, by one about students who failed academically and found that access to the labor market was limited due to their lack of qualifications. The study found that learning self-regulation skills, including goal setting and how to adjust their path after setbacks, helped students bounce back and become ready to strive for new life successes and deal with any adverse situations they faced.
Others have also shown that blogging about social issues can help to cope.
Journaling is known to help relieve emotional stress. A study published by the American Psychological Association has shown that blogging may be a more effective solution for teens who are struggling.
Compared to teenagers who did nothing or kept only personal diaries, those who blogged about their social problems had improved self-esteem, decreased social anxiety and emotional distress.
5. Be kind to yourself
Finally, when you are faced with bad news of any kind, it is very important to be kind to yourself and take care of your physical and mental health. In moments of trauma, we often unconsciously neglect our well-being.
Eat healthy food. Do not forget to eat balanced meals with fruits and vegetables three times a day. Unhealthy eating greatly increases negative mood.
Try mindfulness meditation. When preparing for bad news, instead of distracting yourself or trying to stay positive, practice mindfulness meditation, which allows you to focus on the present and offset the anxiety of waiting for the news.
Book a massage. , published in the Journal of Clinical Nursing, found that up to 8 weeks after the death of a loved one, hand and foot massage provided some comfort and was “an essential process for grieving family members.”
When faced with bad news, no matter how hard it is, it is important to remain calm, focus on the present moment, and remember to breathe freely.