5 situations that do not happen in happy families

Perhaps every person dreams of this: even if he was not lucky to be born in a happy family, he tries to build his own so that it is comfortable and warm.

It also happens that at first everything is fine, and then it changes for the worse, and people live in confusion and resentment towards their partner. How to maintain family happiness? Let’s talk about situations that you will never see in well-to-do families.

1. One for all

We will talk about the responsibility that each of the partners takes on in a relationship. Sometimes a woman tries to create comfort, arrange life, maintain warmth and tenderness with her man. Relationships are based only on her energy, and the partner only accepts love, but there is no reciprocal energy.

A woman eventually gets used to the fact that in a relationship the leading role remains with her. She is unhappy, blames and scolds herself for not trying hard. But in fact, she’s just tired of “rowing” for two, she lacks warmth and response, that same masculine energy that her partner for some reason does not give.

A healthy model of relationship development assumes that everyone invests their time, emotional resources, finances, efforts and efforts in organizing family happiness. It is important to recognize that it is impossible to maintain a relationship alone, because the second one seems to be overboard, being pulled in tow.

It is necessary to invite a partner into this process so that both the man and the woman take an oar and start rowing in the same direction.

2. Everything for him

All efforts are aimed at supporting only one family member. For example, when a man notices only the younger son, and ignores the older one. Or when the elder needs help, and the father says: “I did it myself at your age, so you can do it without me.” It can be about solving problems at school, about entering a university or other everyday situations.

At the same time, the father’s refusal is selective: one child receives help and support in unlimited quantities, while for the other, the situation is sharply opposite. In this case, the happiness of the whole family is unattainable, because there is always the one who is rejected, and his inner heartache.

Of course, the process of education is built in different ways, because all children are different. But you can’t throw them away and it’s important to support them as much as possible. At least with a kind word and faith that they will succeed.

3. Happiness for one

The story «all for him» can be played out not only between parents and children, but also in a man-woman pair. We are talking about the fact that one of the partners devotes his whole life to the other to the detriment of his own interests.

In literature, this image is romanticized with the phrase: «Behind every great man there is a woman.» However, a woman should not forget about herself. Otherwise, there is a risk that the partner will become bored, and he will devalue all her efforts. One of the toughest phrases in this case: “I didn’t ask you, you yourself decided so. Now I’m not interested in you.»

A bias in the family system should not be allowed, when all efforts are aimed at the development and comfort of only one partner. It is important that everyone develops. So that everyone is happy not only when the other person feels good, but also from the fact that his own life is filled with something meaningful and interesting, which brings a sense of satisfaction.

4. Ax porridge

Do you remember this fairy tale, in which a soldier played and cheated so that a stingy grandmother would feed him porridge? Some families live in the same way, in which the budget is in the hands of one of the partners.

For example, when a woman is on maternity leave, she has to figure out how to persuade her husband to buy something for the family, because at the moment she does not have financial independence. The wife knows that if she asks directly, she will receive a refusal in response. Unfortunately, the situation is humiliating and difficult emotionally.

It must be remembered that an ax is not required to cook porridge. And in order for the family to be happy, it is necessary to be able to ask each other about their needs openly and know that you will be treated with attention and respect.

Therefore, it must be said that the functionality is different. And if a man now earns more money in a common project called “family”, this does not mean that a woman’s work in raising children and maintaining comfort in the house can depreciate. You need to be able to say: “I see you are trying, so am I. Please respect me.»

5. Directive communication and any kind of violence

It would seem obvious, but this is just the moment that appears in a relationship a little bit. And, like a fly in the ointment in a barrel of honey, it gradually spoils the whole taste of pleasure from communicating with each other.

In a happy relationship, it is important to be in dialogue, to discuss problems and joint development tasks. If one person intercepts power and starts dictating his own rules from top to bottom, then the other half will step back and do what is interesting to her. And most often in such a way that the family dictator did not know anything about it.

Directive communication and dictatorship are related to psychological abuse, just like the ban on communication with relatives and friends. If not stopped at the very beginning, it can lead to serious problems and loss of trust and closeness in the family.

A happy family is like a birthday cake with candles for a child: you dream about it for a long time and really want to try it. Adults also dream, and everyone chooses which ingredients can be put in their «cake» called «happiness» and which are not worth it.