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The trauma inflicted in childhood inevitably leaves a mark — even if it seems like an eternity has passed, the psyche and body continue to remember what happened. Moreover, the memory of this trauma can even be “hereditary”.
A recent discovery in the field of epigenetics (a branch of genetics that studies the heritable changes in gene activity during cell growth and division) proves that childhood trauma is literally «sewn» into our DNA and we can inherit it — as well as pass it on.
So maybe your fear of heights or depths isn’t as irrational as it seems. Whether it’s a one-time injury or years of abuse, the body remembers even what the mind could safely repress.
Here are a few signs that you can identify childhood trauma.
1. Low opinion of yourself
People who have been traumatized in childhood often feel worthless as they grow up. “I’m good for nothing”, “I won’t succeed”, “I’m not important”, “I’m a bad person” are thoughts that constantly spin in their head, even though the world around them may assure them otherwise.
They set themselves up for failure, settle for less than they deserve, belittle their own merits, and don’t know how to accept compliments.
2. Mental health issues
Hidden trauma can be expressed in chronic depression, anxiety, PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder), obsessive-compulsive and other personality disorders — any of these manifestations could be an adaptation mechanism that a person developed in childhood. Thus, emotions and feelings that the child forbade himself declare about themselves, and deep work is required (ideally under the supervision of a specialist) in order to return to normal.
3. Chronic diseases
Trauma not only physically damages a child’s brain (as evidenced1 scan results), but also creates all the conditions for the development of other diseases; in fact, it continues to live in the body for many years after the event, and the person is at risk for developing autoimmune diseases, cancer, diabetes, or heart disease.
The reason is the increased level of adrenaline and cortisol, the stress hormone, which disrupts the hormonal balance of the body and affects its work, including protective functions — they weaken, and the body becomes especially vulnerable to diseases.
4. Dependencies
The most obvious manifestations of hidden trauma are dependence on alcohol, drugs and food. The mechanism is the same: repressed memories associated with trauma are expressed in increased levels of anxiety and emotional flashbacks, and in order to drown them out, a person is forced to resort to one or another means.
5. Life in survival mode
Are you constantly on the edge, ready to fight (fight-or-flight mode), or do you feel completely empty? This is also one of the possible consequences of childhood trauma: we feel that we can be attacked at any moment (after all, it used to be so), which means we must be fully armed.
We live in anticipation of danger, even if nothing foreshadows it, simply because our nervous system is “used to” this. Another manifestation of old trauma is that we literally freeze in front of certain people: perhaps in the past this behavior saved us from punishment or trouble. However, now, in adulthood, it is much more useful to learn how to fight back offenders.
Trauma has a most unpleasant property — to appear again and again, even when it seems to us that it has remained far in the past. And, alas, if it is not healed, if the consequences are not dealt with, this will continue indefinitely. You can “bury” memories, run away from them, but the trauma will continue to live in us, and its manifestations will be aggravated.
Dealing with trauma is not easy, it requires time and financial resources, determination, patience and support, but only in this way can you begin to breathe deeply and achieve your goals.
1 https://nypost.com/2017/11/02/brain-scans-reveal-how-badly-emotional-abuse-damages-kids/