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Do you get the feeling that your partner often behaves like a child? Or does he always puts only his own interests at the forefront? Only talks but does nothing? Avoids any depth? Maybe it’s because you’re in a relationship with someone who lacks emotional maturity. Here’s another way to understand it.
1. He has a hard time getting close.
And it’s not just about sex, but also about any attempts at rapprochement. True intimacy requires vulnerability, trust, transparency, and all this is clearly not enough for an emotionally immature person. In addition, he or she is more likely to have:
- problems expressing their feelings and needs,
- incredulity,
- tendency to avoid any conflicts and serious conversations,
- in the past – only short and unstable relationships.
At the same time, you need to understand that each of us needs our own time to open up, however, if you have been communicating for a long time and a lot, but there is still no real closeness between you, this is a reason to think.
2. He doesn’t know how or doesn’t want to support you emotionally.
Healthy relationships mean that you always have a person by your side who will support you in the most difficult and unstable times. Is this the case for your couple? It is difficult for an emotionally immature person to withstand other people’s experiences and feelings, especially negative ones. Therefore, he tries to avoid those who are now having a hard time – he distances himself from them and returns only when the situation returns to normal.
And, most likely, if you want to talk with such a partner about something sore, then in response you hear that “now is not the right time,” or he is very tired, or “too much has piled up.” It is also likely that he does not participate in solving your problems and does not encourage you.
3. In his opinion, someone else is always to blame
How does your partner react to their own mistakes or situations when things don’t go according to plan? Does he take responsibility or blame others, people or circumstances? Do you hear him say that he was “distracted”, “provoked”, “pissed off” or that “the situation got out of control”?
Does he normally perceive criticism and adequate feedback, and does he often apologize? Alas, the inability to ask for forgiveness and take responsibility may mean that he will one day shift the blame for the problems in your relationship to you.
4. He is extremely selfish
In healthy relationships, partners are able to compromise, move their plans for each other and make time for each other, despite the most busy schedule. However, an emotionally immature partner is incapable of this: his priorities are always more important than yours, he is not ready for concessions and strives to ensure that he always has the last word – in general, he always “pulls the blanket over himself”.
In addition, he is likely to:
- puts “I” above “we”,
- always strives to solve everything independently,
- forces you to give up your plans, but he does not do this,
- makes you believe that everything in his life is more important than your relationship.
5. He uses words as a weapon.
Everyone knows what power words have: they can be taught, helped and healed, or they can hurt, destroy and destroy. This is exactly what an emotionally immature partner does with words. He:
- uses them to achieve his goals,
- not trying to hold back
- in conflict becomes personal,
- does not take responsibility for what is said,
- puts pressure on the patient, can openly humiliate or call names,
- seeks to win in any dispute, not caring about how it will affect the interlocutor.
Relationships with an emotionally immature person take energy and can negatively affect mental health. And if you realize that your partner is exactly like that, then at least you should try to talk with him about his behavior and how it affects you.
If he values you and is ready to change, great! So perhaps all is not lost. But if not … Then you should probably think that you deserve more. That is, a relationship with a person who will always be ready to listen to you, support and understand. Someone who is not afraid of intimacy and real depth, someone who can meet your emotional needs and for whom you want to do the same.