Contents
Anger is a destructive feeling. It affects not only the person who experiences it, but also those around them. We talk about the main causes of anger that poison life.
There is no such person who would never be angry with another. We are also on the other side of the barricades: we feel anger on ourselves from other people. This feeling arises when one person experiences discontent arising from resentment.
Anger can be short-term, or it can last a lifetime. And this is a very painful feeling, primarily because we cannot always explain its cause. In addition, anger often leads to the destruction of important relationships.
Some people get angry more often due to temperament and inability to behave in a conflict situation. Many find it difficult to discuss their feelings with those they are angry with, and we just keep quiet about it. Sometimes we even forget what upset us, but we always remember how we felt. There can be many reasons for anger.
1. Misunderstandings and false suspicions
Sometimes it seems to us that someone wishes us harm, although in reality this is not so. If this misunderstanding is not cleared up right away, there may be a feeling that everyone around wishes us harm. We get offended by people who have nothing bad in mind, and we begin to get angry.
2. Unrealistic expectations
We often want too much from other people. And if they do not live up to our expectations, we are offended, upset and disappointed. Magnanimous people think too well of others and suffer when they are not what they imagined. If you are always ready to help, you may be offended that people do not pay you the same.
3. Feeling abandoned
This reason has many varieties: you feel used, ignored and betrayed. You call a friend, and he answers when he needs something from you. You are not invited to a corporate event. Being invisible and even invisible to others is unpleasant.
But perhaps the people you resent are in the grip of false beliefs. For example, co-workers sincerely believe that you don’t like parties and decline the invitation anyway. And your friend might be really busy. That is, your anger can be provoked by several reasons at the same time.
4. Reaching the limit
Communication with some people hurts us, and sooner or later the limit comes — we no longer want and cannot tolerate it. This happens in the relationship of spouses and couples in love, when one person says: «That’s it, I’ve had enough.» Sometimes people say that they no longer have the strength to endure their partner’s behavior. They feel empty and depleted.
5. Envy
When relationships deteriorate and discontent rises, envy enters the scene. It would seem that we should rejoice in the successes of loved ones. But for many of us, this is a difficult task.
Sadly, sometimes it is easier to help a person who is suffering than to share joy with someone who achieves a goal. This is due to our internal problems, and most often it is a matter of low self-esteem.
Think about why you are angry. Think about which of the following reasons affect your life? Understanding the cause will be the first step to getting rid of the destructive feeling of anger.
About the Author: Barbara Greenberg is a clinical psychologist specializing in family relationships and parenting.