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Emotionally inaccessible, self-contained people who are sometimes impossible to reach out to, grow out of children who have been told from childhood that it is impossible to cry. They themselves are not very happy, and others are also not easy with them. To avoid such a development of events, you need to reconsider your views on education right now.
Have you ever noticed that on other days your child does not do things as well as usual? This is especially noticeable in sports: he jumped worse, missed, missed the ball. Parents are screaming with all their might: “Get together!”, but everything repeats. And now we see that the child already has eyes in a wet place.
In psychology, such cases are explained by the fear of public speaking, and during them we usually have:
- pulse speeds up and breathing quickens,
- dries up in the mouth and there is tension in the throat,
- hands, lips and voice begin to tremble,
- bending knees,
- palms become wet and cold,
- nausea or discomfort in the abdomen,
- visual perception changes.
This happens to everyone: both children and adults. And it is extremely important to remember this before opening your mouth and telling your son: “Don’t cry! You’re a boy!”
The need to hold back tears is very likely to have a negative impact on the psyche of the child, and, most likely, subsequently, work with a specialist will be required to gain access to these “canned” emotions and so that the young person or already an adult man learns to feel and express them, as well as show empathy for others.
If these arguments are not enough, then here are five more reasons why you should allow children, regardless of gender, to cry.
1. It teaches them to calm down on their own.
According to material1, published on the website Medical News Today, if a child is forbidden to cry, his psyche “gets stuck” in the “fight or flight” mode, while tears allow the body to get the necessary discharge.
2. This is good ground for developing emotional intelligence.
And he, in turn, allows children to resolve conflicts and develop deeper friendships. And this is the base that we need in adulthood in order to build a successful and happy personal and professional life on its basis.
3. It breaks gender stereotypes
So, perhaps our children will be lucky to live in a different, better world. Equality cannot be achieved until we ourselves get rid of outdated ideas that strength or weakness are based solely on our gender and anatomy.
4. It relieves pain
The already mentioned article on Medical News Today says that the chemical reaction triggered by tears in the body leads to the release of oxytocin and endorphins, which means that tears really relieve both physical and emotional pain, which is why after them it becomes easier.
5. It Helps Children Express Emotions
Disappointment, fear, frustration and a host of other emotions – their children express through crying, and we should respect this expression. This is about personal boundaries too: you need to leave the child the right to his feelings.
Hiding emotions is an unhealthy story. Our task as parents is to teach children to express them in an ecological way. Let this be your next step.
1 https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/319631