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Being “mediocre” and not being remembered by the world is a nightmare for many of us. Meanwhile, being an ordinary person, on the contrary, is beneficial. What is the disadvantage of uniqueness? How to turn your ordinary into a superpower? Says a clinical psychologist.
Have there been situations in your life when you went out of your way to please someone? When did you try with all your might to seem better than you really are? It probably happened to everyone.
Psychologist Karen Nimmo attended a networking event a couple of years ago. Then the general conversation turned to two upcoming conferences. The interlocutor asked Nimmo which of them she was going to go for, and, having heard the answer, raised her eyebrows in surprise: “But she is for ordinary women!” According to the memoirs of the author, she hardly managed to hide a smile. Indeed: to spend the weekend in the company of «the most ordinary women» — what could be worse?
Being ordinary, “average”, not leaving your mark, not doing something that will change the world, not standing out from the crowd in any way — for many, this is a nightmare, a real phobia of the XNUMXst century. The trouble is that this fear makes many of us make excessive demands on ourselves: we continually compare ourselves with others and harshly evaluate our achievements.
It seems that everywhere you look, everyone is doing something — and doing it better than us. Achieve more, earn better, wear smarter clothes, eat healthier food.
The author emphasizes: there is nothing wrong with self-improvement and trying to use your potential to the maximum. But for our psyche it is much more useful if we are happy with what we have. And trying to become “extraordinary”, “unique”, “not like everyone else” is a direct path to misfortune.
So why is being “ordinary” a superpower?
1. You can do anything just for fun.
You can experiment, indulge, change hobbies and enjoy their variety without striving to achieve perfection. In addition, you can not look back at others and fashion trends — even if what you like is «stupid», «old» or «not interesting».
2. And not be afraid to «fail»
It is known that one learns from mistakes, and this is the only way to move forward. If you recognize that you are an absolute beginner in some business, and not a rising star and a «born genius», then it will be easier for you to relate to your own failures. In addition, you will gain freedom from unnecessary hopes and possible pressure from outside.
3. You can painlessly change your life
When what we do does not define us, we are not afraid to give it up and try something new. Therefore, if you suddenly stop taking pictures, painting or writing poetry, you will not become a worse person.
4. You can focus on the process, not the result
Focusing on the potential outcome often heightens the fear of failure, while enjoying the process induces a coveted state of “flow.” Thanks to him, you can stay «here and now» and get real pleasure from what is happening.
5. And enjoy «invisibility»
Like it or not, celebrities and geniuses often have a hard time: rarely does their appearance go unnoticed, and you have to carefully monitor what they say and how they look. You are relieved of this pressure and potential stress — so maybe you should rejoice at this?
Finally, it is worth remembering that our history, experience, skills, views, points of view on different issues — all this makes each of us unique. So, comparing yourself to others is pointless. It is better to enjoy the fact that we are what we are: average, ordinary, normal. And that’s great.