5 myths about anxious children

Myth 1: Children have no reason to worry

I constantly hear from parents who come to me for a consultation: “Yes, because of what should he be worried ?!” They give so much to the child, pamper him, he has a lot of things that they themselves could only dream of in childhood …

This misconception is based on the idea that only external factors can cause anxiety and that there must be a clear cause for anxiety. Actually it is not. We are not surprised why a child with type XNUMX diabetes is unable to produce insulin, just as we should not be surprised that children can be tormented by anxiety.

The tendency to anxiety largely depends on the genes. Sometimes its causes are purely physiological, and then it occurs regardless of any external stimuli. An anxious person begins to be tormented by the question: “What if …?” Just thinking about imaginary troubles can bring as much suffering as real problems.

Children can live in constant fear, fearing some events and situations that have never happened to them and, quite possibly, never will happen.

Myth 2: Parents are to blame for children’s anxiety

It always hurts me to hear this. The parents of an anxious child are already having a hard time, and in most cases blaming them for what happened is unfair.

Parents often tell me how harsh and even cruel comments friends and relatives make. “He just needs discipline” or “I think she’s just really spoiled” – often after such statements, an already exhausted adult completely loses heart.

Anxiety cannot be “cured by discipline.” It is not the result of a bad or too soft upbringing. It may seem to people from the outside that the child is just hysterical, but they do not know what preceded it. They do not see that the child is barely holding on. He fights with anxiety around the clock and loses the battle.

Myth 3: Anxiety disorders are rare in children.

Children do not wear the “anxious child” badge on their chest. They can be well educated, study well, they can have many friends. They usually don’t bully or cause problems. Because of this, most people around have no idea that the child is tormented by constant anxiety.

Often teachers, distant relatives and even close friends are unaware of the child’s suffering. Because of this, there is a misconception that anxiety disorders in children are rare.

Myth 4: Misconception: Anxiety will go away with age

The worst advice you can give to parents of anxious children is: “Be patient, it will pass with age.” This is often said by teachers, friends and relatives, and even pediatricians. Unfortunately, anxiety does not go away with age. It changes and takes other forms, but does not disappear.

What can parents do? To begin with, understand what anxiety disorders are: by studying the literature or consulting a psychologist. And then explain to the child what is happening to him, and teach him to deal with anxiety. And the sooner they do it, the better.

Myth 5: Only weak children suffer from anxiety.

Fathers are especially inclined to believe this. I often have to work with men who are ashamed of the fears and anxieties of their child (especially son), perceiving them as weakness.

It is important to understand that anxiety has nothing to do with courage or lack thereof. In fact, anxious children are some of the most courageous, because they fight day after day with irrational thoughts overwhelming their head.

It is very important to fight against the misconceptions listed above, because both children suffering from anxiety disorders and their parents need support, love and understanding, not condemnation and criticism.