Jealousy, like curiosity, is a bad thing. It pushes us to desire what we don’t have and to be permanently dissatisfied. But being jealous is not inevitable. What is needed is to know your flaws to avoid making certain mistakes. We have identified five that deteriorate the lives of the jealous.

1. Being too intrusive

Jealousy can lead us to be too intrusive, to take up too much space in the lives of those around us. In the couple, the jealous person will not stand that his spouse has a secret garden. In friendship, a jealous person will not hesitate to call regularly to leave his friend no opportunity to hide something from him.

To avoid being too intrusive, tell yourself that it is because he has affection for you that your partner or your friend will take pleasure in telling you what he has on his heart. We must not force the feelings, otherwise we take the risk of scare away the people you care about the most.

2. Asking too many questions

A jealous person tends to always ask a lot of questions, even if it means not respecting the privacy of his interlocutor. A jealous boyfriend will not hesitate to ask his partner about his emotional past. A jealous woman ask her friend a lot of questions about dating, new colleagues, his schedule, to the point of indiscretion.

Do you feel like you have this bad inclination? Try to take it upon yourself and let the person you love come to you. If you pester her with questions, you will create a climate of suspicion very unpleasant in the couple, but also in friendship. To love a person is above all to respect who he is and therefore not to rush him.

3. Be possessive

A jealous woman or man can be extremely possessive. He or she will demand accounts for the comings and goings of his or her spouse and will impose his or her decisions to be sure that nothing escapes him or her. Generally, a jealous person doesn’t like their friends to make new friends and causes those new friendships to fall apart.

Jealousy is often a form of selfishness. If you are possessive, learn to put yourself in the place of the person you love for a moment. It will make you more benevolent and less stuffy. What is expected of a friend is a listening ear and not a guide that dictates our conduct.

4. Don’t trust others

This is the tragedy of jealous people: they do not know how to trust. However, trust is essential in a romantic relationship but also in friendship. Jealous people have a tendency to paranoia. If we do not tell them something, they will think that we are deliberately hiding from them in order to hurt them. Which ends up making them very unhappy.

To thrive in their relationship and with their friends, the jealous person will have no other choice but to learn to trust. If the exercise is too difficult, do not hesitate to get help. Getting to trust more will allow you to free yourself and you will be appreciated for it.

5. Don’t trust yourself

It must be said that most jealous people often feel bad about themselves. Jealousy is indeed a mark of lack of self-confidence. We want the other to be all our own because we need to know that we are loved exclusively. Jealousy leads the sufferer into a deadly vicious circle which isolates it more every day.

Not having self-confidence is not a fault, it is just a handicap that can be treated and accompanied. The ideal is to get help from a psychologist, which will teach you to know yourself better and to love yourself better. Once you have confidence in yourself, it will be easier for you to trust others and to love them more calmly.

Claire Verdier

Read also: 10 things that destroy your relationship