Contents
We are glad to welcome you, dear readers of the site! Today we will talk about how to stop taking everything to heart. After all, not only our emotional state depends on it, but also our health in general.
Evidence
How to understand, are you just too demanding and critical of yourself, or do you really take everything to heart? We want to offer a list of signs by which you can easily identify an emotionally sensitive person.
If you find that most of the definitions fit you, don’t be discouraged, it means that you are one of the small 20 percent of highly sensitive people who inhabit this planet.
It is completely impossible to change, you were born that way, but learning to perceive difficulties and problems differently is quite real.
- Saturation of feelings. You experience rich and vivid emotions in situations that leave other people indifferent. For example, when you watch a movie where the main character dies, you cry, although the company with which you came to the cinema did not shed a tear.
- «Catch» the mood of others. And it can even be complete strangers to you. We saw how a child was crying bitterly in a cafe, and he himself became sad, but it was no longer possible to return to his previous state.
- Often you hear “Don’t take everything so close”, “relax” and the like. Very often we do not know what words we can support the interlocutor if he feels bad. Why do we say the words that seem most appropriate to us. For example, don’t worry, stop whining, calm down … This also happens because emotional experiences are often mistaken for weakness, so it turns out that we are forbidden to be sad and angry.
- Prefer to play sports alone, work separately from the rest. A team sport is not for you, because it is terrifying just to think that you will let people down if you don’t do something. The same is true with work. It is easier for you to enjoy the process when you are alone and not dependent on anyone.
- Blame yourself for mistakes. You find it hard to forgive yourself for making the slightest mistake. You think for a long time, worry, comprehend what happened. You suffer from insomnia and think over options for how you could do otherwise.
- You have difficulty making choices and making decisions. Even elementary solutions cause a lot of doubt and confuse. The simple task of choosing what to eat for dinner can be confusing. You are not sure what you want and whether you want it right.
- Prone to depression and anxiety, phobic disorders. There may be fears that are not shared by close people, which is why they do not understand you, and, possibly, condemn, ridicule.
- Belonging to an introverted personality type. That is, you prefer chamber small companies, or better, just chatting with your best, sometimes only friend. You focus more on what is happening inside you, and not in the external environment. It is believed that about 70% of highly sensitive people are introverts. Learn more about their resources and limitations in this article.
- Can’t stand the noise. You get annoyed at any loud and unpleasant sound, up to the appearance of “goosebumps” on your hands.
- You are sensitive to criticism. Even if they criticize not you personally, but your company or team, it “knocks the ground out from under your feet” and makes you restless.
- You are too polite person. Sometimes it even seems that you are trying to please others. This is due to the fact that you do not want to create inconvenience to others, which makes it easier for you to sacrifice your interests and feelings, so as not to be considered ignorant.
Methods
Restriction of the circle of communication
It’s no secret that there are people who enjoy the suffering they inflict on others. People call them «energy vampires». After communicating with them, the mood, strength and, in general, the desire to live disappear.
So, the only way to protect yourself is to limit contact with them. Because any attempts to transfer the conversation to the topic that you like and evokes positive emotions will be unsuccessful.
The less time you spend among those who look at the world pessimistically, and even with distrust, the more space you will have for your desires, experiences and, in general, thoughts.
Appreciate your time. Don’t let others control your mood.
Rationalization
The best method of dealing with hypersensitivity is rationalization. You just have to try to clarify the situation for yourself, sort it out, so to speak, on the shelves, and relief will come.
For example, you are afraid of the dark. Think about what kind of danger she is fraught with? Let’s say they’re ghosts. Have you ever seen them in reality, being sober and well-rested? Hardly, right? Then what is the probability that they really surround you?
For more information on how to use this method, you will learn from the article on how to deal with your fears.
A diary
Keep a notebook where you write down your thoughts, feelings and experiences. It’s not always easy to share something that worries you with loved ones. Some will not understand, others will not want to hear, others will devalue, others will not be able to keep what they hear a secret, and so on.
But on paper there is an opportunity to express everything that worries and worries. Having let off steam, you can later easily destroy the paper and then, for sure, no one will know what happened to you, and what thoughts visited your head.
Resource
Highly sensitive people have fairly well-developed emotional intelligence. And if others need to make a lot of effort to pump it, it is given to you by nature.
In addition to intelligence, the advantage of such vulnerability is also intuition. That is, due to the fact that you pass everything through yourself and react to the slightest irritant, you know how to empathize with someone else’s grief and support others in difficult times.
You are able to distinguish between lies and anticipate events, to read in general the emotions of other people, even if they try to hide them.
Therefore, try to look at your peculiarity from a different angle. Less pessimistic.
Daily routine and healthy lifestyle
With insomnia and lack of sleep, the nervous system is depleted, respectively, minor irritants react sharply. So no amount of advice from a psychologist will help if you do not adhere to the correct regimen.
You should definitely fall asleep before nightfall, otherwise the body will not have time to restore the wasted resources, and in the morning you will get up sluggish, as if you had not rested at all.
Similarly, the situation is with alcohol and narcotic substances, which have an extremely negative impact on health and, accordingly, the emotional state.
Recommendations
- Life cannot be only with white stripes, or only with black ones. And in general, its quality depends only on how you perceive any events. For some, a small loss will turn out to be a huge tragedy, and someone will be able to get much more thanks to him than he expected when he won.
- Practice meditation techniques that help you relax, calm down and feel the harmony within. Take care of your nervous system, then it will not react so sharply to the slightest stimuli. The calmer a person is, the healthier he is, as he saves energy for the internal processes of the body.
- Remember that you are not alone in this world. And if you are surrounded by calmer and sometimes cool-headed personalities, this does not mean that something is wrong with you.
- Saturate every day with those events that give bright and pleasant experiences. Unlike those who do not react so strongly to any stimulus, you are able to experience joy much more intensely. A simple romantic song can evoke a feeling of happiness and bliss that the other is almost unable to experience. Therefore, go to the cinema, concerts, theater and other places that give relaxation and pleasure.
- Learn to accept some events as a given, which we have no right to change. Although we are taught to never give up, we should remember that a person is really not omnipotent. And not everything depends on it. Therefore, do not waste energy on something that will not bring any result. How to worry about it.
Completion
And that’s all for today, dear readers!
Take care of yourself, your loved ones and subscribe to site updates!
The material was prepared by a psychologist, Gestalt therapist, Zhuravina Alina