Contents
Hello, dear readers of Valery Kharlamov’s blog! Social phobia is a mental disorder that significantly reduces the quality of human life. It manifests itself in the form of a fear of communicating with other people, anxiety goes off scale and it becomes simply unbearable to be in the company of someone, especially if you need to talk on topics that are not predetermined, come up with answers to questions and, in general, contact. Therefore, today I want to tell you how to deal with social phobia so that you do not limit yourself and do not lose the opportunities provided by fate.
Methods
1. Awareness of the problem
Very often, social phobia is considered just a character trait, as if shyness and shyness are manifested in this way. Therefore, they avoid situations that cause tension, believing that once everything will change, and that nothing can be done about it. Following the lead of his fears, a person deprives himself of a full and high-quality life, thinking that the world is simply unfair and everyone around is aggressive and wrong, so avoiding them is the best solution. And until you realize that your behavior only harms you, and does not save you, it will become worse and more difficult to live your every day, go out, work …
This step is the most important, and once you understand that you have a problem, then there is a chance to overcome it. And given the fact that social phobes often resort to alcohol and drugs to reduce levels of overwhelming anxiety, the process of awareness is key.
2. The cause of this disorder
Usually it stretches from childhood, when parents leave the baby alone, and he has a fear of abandonment. Growing up a little, he understands that it is better to avoid people, because they are a source of suffering. Or there is an unpleasant incident that causes shame, for example, condemnation or ridicule of the teacher in front of classmates. Someone has a fear of society because of a disease that is outwardly noticeable and different from others. Someone has a birth in an antisocial family, or just a conflict, lack of support during the school period, an unsuccessful first sexual experience or ridicule from classmates.
If you find the causes of social phobia, then it will be clearer to you what to do next and what exactly needs to be dealt with. In itself, the fear of being in society is irrational, incomprehensible and lengthy, so even the slightest clarity will greatly alleviate the condition.
3. Gradual action time
Step by step, not demanding instant results. Namely, love yourself, get to know yourself. It may sound strange, but think about how well you know yourself and your reactions? What do you love, what do you dislike, what makes you happy, and what makes you sad? Only love is not what is useful, or the majority loves and so it is necessary, your answer is directly important, even if someone does not like it. Get to know yourself and accept yourself for who you are.
Be sure to write down 20 points in which you tell what you are good at and what you are good at. It causes a lot of resistance, because such people consider themselves losers, ugly and unworthy not only of love, but even of attention. But, if you want changes and relief of the state, working on yourself on your own, you will have to do it. Then try to transform your thinking into a positive direction, for example, using the method of positive affirmations. You can get more detailed information by reading this article.
4. Learn to control yourself
Take power for your life into your own hands, taking away anxiety and panic. Having spent a lot of time with this disorder, I am sure that you are well aware of the first signs of the onset of fear, anxiety and other things, sometimes even being able to predict the onset of, for example, a panic attack. But this is not enough. You need to learn methods that will help you cope with overwhelming feelings.
5. Changes
The most difficult moment, you will need to make adjustments to your behavior, now not running away from situations that cause tension, but even provoking them. By learning to follow your fear, you will get the whole world, realizing dreams and plans. Perhaps even reading these lines can cause horror, but think about the consequences of your disorder, because many people commit suicide or die from an overdose of alcohol, drugs, and some do not even live, only existing and following the lead of fears, which can be overcome The only way is to look them in the eyes.
Recommendations
- Since people with this disorder can often experience panic attacks, shortness of breath and difficulty breathing, breathing techniques should be mastered to help normalize the condition and survive the panic. You can find more information in the article about breathing techniques.
- If an addiction arose that helped to cope with excess irrational stress, then the struggle for health and a joyful life will become more difficult, because it will also be necessary to get rid of alcoholism or drug addiction. If alcohol interferes, then I recommend this article.
- In order to control your body and feel it better, do meditation. These practices will help not only to alleviate the condition on the physical level, but also give peace and tranquility. Even a beginner can easily master the exercises that are presented here.
- Go in for sports, sign up for some courses, you need to be interested in the surrounding reality, it’s time to lose your temper and get pleasant, positive emotions. If you begin to enjoy life and experience interest, excitement, tenderness and excitement for other people, sometimes unfamiliar, consider that the treatment is successful.
- Learn the main thing — you won’t be able to please all people, just as you won’t like it, there will always be those who will support, and who will criticize, devalue. Learn to rely on your opinion and your feelings, because this is your life, and you decide how to be and what to do.
Conclusion
Psychology has many examples when people coped with their experiences, defeating social phobia. For example, could you guess that Jim Carrey is one of those people? Or Kim Basinger, Robert Pattison and James Hetfield of Metallica? And they not only defeated themselves and their fears, but also achieved tremendous success, winning the recognition of millions of people. And all thanks to this disorder, they decided not to close in on themselves, but to make a lot of efforts to get rid of it, realizing that it’s unbearable to live like this and they need to look for a way out, asking themselves the question “What to do?”, Instead of going on about at worries. If they hid and did not hold out, the world would not recognize them. So I wish you courage and strength, and everything will work out for you!
The material was prepared by Zhuravina Alina.