5 little-known facts about the psychology of infertility

In vitro fertilization, or IVF, in the modern world no longer surprises anyone. The procedure is used by star couples, women of late reproductive age, couples who have been treated for infertility for many years.

It would seem that here it is – a magic wand that works wonders. However, not everyone knows about the downside of IVF. And the point is not only in the medical, but also in the psychological aspects of reproductive programs.

Why is it important to take care of your mental health if you are considering IVF? How can a psychologist be useful in this case? In what situations will his support be definitely needed?

1. After the age of 38, the chances of having a child decrease dramatically, and this can be difficult to accept.

Today, more and more women are postponing the birth of children “after 30” and even “after 40”, being convinced that modern reproductive technologies work wonders. In fact, no one has yet managed to deceive nature.

For example, in the Netherlands, IVF is denied to women after the age of forty. And in the US, the program is designed for patients up to 55 years old. There are no age restrictions in Russia, but it is worth remembering that after 38 years, the chances of both natural conception and successful IVF are sharply reduced.

This is because already after 35 years the number of follicles in a woman decreases, and after 40 years it is even more difficult to obtain healthy embryos. Unfortunately, with age, the likelihood of chromosomal pathologies is high, and pregnancy often simply freezes.

Reproductologists offer patients to freeze their own eggs until the age of 35, and such procedures are becoming increasingly popular. Why is it important?

To endure and give birth to a healthy child at 42 years old, you need as many as 30 cells! And at this age, if IVF fails, the specialist will recommend a procedure with donor cells, that is, with the participation of someone else’s genetic material. And some reproductive centers offer this option right away – to increase the chance of a favorable outcome.

But psychologically it is difficult to accept. Many women take time to make such a difficult decision. At this stage, a perinatal psychologist is often involved in the work.

2. A competent psychologist is the key to the success of the IVF procedure

It should be understood that women and couples who are faced with the diagnosis of “infertility” are often deeply traumatized by this situation. Many cannot conceive a child for ten or even twenty years. It is important that the reproductologist does not give false hopes, realistically assesses the chances of success, but at the same time takes care of the psychological state of patients.

That is why in most fertility clinics, a perinatal psychologist works in tandem with a reproductologist. He sets patients on a positive wave, analyzes fears and experiences. At the same time, his clients must understand that failure is also possible.

3. Fear Is One Of The Unobvious But Common Psychological Causes Of Infertility

It is believed that pregnancy in a woman first occurs “in the head.” To do this, she needs to feel confident in her partner and in her own future, not to suffer from increased anxiety caused by stress, the need to earn money, and the fear of not being able to cope with a new social role.

Otherwise, the brain sometimes simply refuses to send the correct signal to the reproductive organs. The fact is that during stress, too much adrenaline is produced in the body, which blocks the production of occytocin, the main “pregnant” hormone.

4. Bad relationship with mom is another common cause of infertility and IVF failure.

As part of the treatment of infertility and preparation for IVF, the specialist always asks the patient about her own childhood and how her mother treated her – did she love that she talked about motherhood and children …

It happens that a woman at an early age formed a conviction: children are a heavy burden, and motherhood is not a joy at all, but a struggle for survival. It is logical that even with a sincere desire to give birth to a child, she will subconsciously experience fear of this event.

5. After a long-awaited pregnancy, some couples separate.

Surprisingly, for some couples who have been unable to have children for a long time, even a miraculous pregnancy becomes a moment of truth. They realize that the relationship has outlived its usefulness.

The problem is that pregnancy sometimes turns into the only common goal for people. It overshadows all other partner tasks and the simple joy of sex and communication with each other. This usually happens if one or both partners consider it necessary to achieve all their goals at any cost.

This point is also worth working out with a psychologist in preparation for IVF. After all, if nothing but the desire to have a common child unites you, it may be worth carefully studying all the pros and cons. After his birth, life will become somewhat more complicated, and all such problems are best solved before a new person is born.