Contents
Our author Marina Sesina discusses what motherhood taught her.
1. Learned to love
I never knew you could feel that! Most likely, my daughter is an ordinary child. Funny cheeks, wheel legs, dozens of folds, fists always drooling, toothless smile and elegant bald patches on the back of your head! But from the first days I never get tired of photographing her and finding new and unexpected angles. My phone is now overflowing with her pictures, and I can hardly restrain the impulse so as not to post them on all social networks every day.
I can talk about Alice for hours. She is my personal microcosm. She is almost 4 months old, she loves a cartoon about Aladdin, 6 am, my left breast and lying on my stomach. She is insanely sociable and loves when there are a lot of people around.
If she doesn’t like something, she lets you know about it with a loud “G-eeeee!” or “L-e-eooo”.
When she is hungry, she pulls corners from pillows, diapers and blankets into her mouth. She hates it when I hang out on the phone while feeding. And during the day she falls asleep, no other than burying her nose in me.
I don’t know what will happen next and what else prolactin, which is going through the roof in my blood, will do with me. But today, looking at her, I experience a completely insane, without beginning or end, FEELING. I am bursting with tenderness and awe, ready to kiss her for hours. By golly, my daughter is a real champion in bringing me to a state of absolute happiness.
2. Fight the society
I felt a catch, barely leaving the hospital. A thousand and one advice on how to deal with a child poured down on me from all sides. “Do not hold it in your arms for a long time, it will get used to it, then you won’t wean it”, “take care of your chest, wear a warm scarf”, “feed every three hours”, “feed on demand”, “drink with water”, “do not drink with water”, “vaccinate “,” Don’t get vaccinated. “
I am 29 years old, I gave birth to a child, but what is better for him, everyone around him knows, except me! I never thought that being a mother means constantly defending the right to bring up your child as you see fit, and as the inner voice suggests.
By God, many relatives were driven to hysterics with stupid advice, which I did not ask. Opinions that didn’t interest me. Theories I didn’t believe in.
I often wanted to cry, but I held on.
Motherhood taught me to defend the right to make decisions about my own child and trust my intuition more.
3. Be flexible and accept the situation as it is
I got used to more or less planning my day and even fell in love with a certain amount of predictability in it. Having become a mother, for a long time I could not come to terms with the fact that from now on my every day cannot be planned. A baby cannot be forced into a framework, not forced to live even according to a minimal plan. At least for the first time.
All my desires for the last 4 months are constantly flying into the trash. I want to have breakfast, Alice – to be rocked in my arms. I want to go for a walk, Alice – to eat and shout. I want to do a little work, Alice wants to chat. At first, I was terribly upset from the inability to control my own life, and then suddenly I resigned myself. Today I accept any day as it is, I can change my plans as I like. I just know what I need to do in a day, and I am ready to do many things at any time, without being tied to time. At the same time, I do not get upset if my hands have not reached something.
4. Motherhood is the detox of life
With the birth of a child, you inevitably “fall out of life.” On the one hand, I was afraid it would happen. But then the realization came that everything was for the best. At some point, you suddenly realize that by and large everything unnecessary and unnecessary is being cut off. Empty and fake friends, meaningless pursuits disappear. Only the most important remains with you.
Plus, you become much more organized and efficient. Free time – only for the most important things. You begin to appreciate the simple and important things – the opportunity to eat, wash, work, have sex, call your friend or mom. And most importantly – now you are terrified of the fact that you used to have 24 hours in a day at your personal disposal, but … on what … WHAT HAS SPENDED IT, the hell ??
5. This is what it is – the present and the main thing.
On the eve of the birth, I was preparing for the end of my “real” life with motherhood. There will be no time for parties, travel, work … But, as it turned out, the most interesting thing began with the birth of the child! Yes, the time for the old familiar joys has become much less. But the realization came that the most important project of your life for today is a child. And important changes happen to him almost daily. Watching how your baby grows and develops is real happiness! And most importantly – the further, the more interesting!
And I can’t wait until it will be possible to communicate with Alice in a slightly more adult language. I’m incredibly looking forward to the first time I can take her to a real, serious exhibition of paintings, take her to the open air, put her on skis or snowboard and watch her favorite French films with her. And, of course, as my daughter’s mother, I already dream of the day when we can go shopping together, choose outfits, do manicure and gossip about something in a cafe over a cup of coffee.