5 important books about self-love

“Tender to yourself”

Olga Primachenko, Bombora, 2020

“Eight years ago my life changed dramatically. Within a month, I filed for divorce, went back to live with my mom, and changed jobs. The first recess hurt, the second reeked of burning shame, and the third became a challenge: rowing competitions began in my small cozy swamp, ”the journalist and writer Olga Primachenko describes the beginning of her journey to herself.

She dedicated a new book to those who did not pay attention to their desires for a long time, restrained their feelings and emotions, did not accept their body. For those who want to be their own friend today.

The book does not contain recommendations in the spirit of “love the inner child, and everything will work out.” But there are many life hacks on how to grow up, learn to trust yourself, not depend on the opinions of others, learn to ask for what you need, protect what is important, get close to people and move away from them.

The book will help you accept your feelings, realize your worth and give up the pursuit of mythical perfection. In the last chapter – a 31-day practice of tenderness to yourself with tasks for every day.

“Love for yourself. 50 Ways to Boost Self-Esteem

Anastasia Zaloga, Bombora, 2021

At 23, psychologist and journalist Anastasia Zaloga was at the epicenter of pain and despair. Her mother died of breast cancer, and Anastasia took a long time to recover. After recovering a little, she quit, took out a loan and opened a business. It did not work out with him, and the girl was left alone with debts and self-hatred. Luckily, one random piece of advice—saying the words “I love myself unconditionally” from time to time—changed everything.

“10 years have passed, and I can say with confidence: self-love saved my life. This is the only key that opens the way to harmony,” says the author.

For 10 years, Anastasia has been sharing with people her own method of improving self-esteem. In the book, she explains why, with external success, we are constantly dissatisfied with ourselves and live in captivity of our own criticism. Why love is never enough and how we try to get it from the outside. She has collected the most effective exercises that will teach you not to depend on the encouragement and love of others, but to sincerely love yourself.

Everyone has their own romance with themselves, so there are no universal patterns of happiness in the book. But there are practical exercises that will help build the foundation of an adequate, kind relationship with yourself.

“Burnout. A new approach to stress relief

Amelia Nagoski, Emily Nagoski, Mann, Ivanov and Ferber, 2019

There are many requirements for modern women: they must be cute, comfortable, calm and have time for everything. And they meekly move through a vicious circle of endless stress, sacrificing their own interests and health.

“Guess who is the enemy in our book? (evil music playing) Patriarchy. M-yes. Most women’s self-help books skip this point and focus solely on what is in the power of the reader. But it’s like teaching the most winning strategy, without saying that the whole game is built on dishonest rules. Fortunately, once we realize we are in for a scam, we can start playing by our own rules,” write Emily and Amilia Nagoski.

They wrote a very personal and at the same time understandable book for every woman. The publication teaches you to fight for your own “I” and defend your desires.

Here you will find specific techniques for different aspects of burnout and learn how to properly live stressful situations, manage emotions, fight back the patriarchal way of life, resist imposed standards of beauty and relax without feeling guilty about it. And you can also remember or rediscover what is worth living for and what will support you even in the most difficult moments.

“Self-Compassion”

Kristin Neff, Mann, Ivanov and Ferber, 2021

“The ideal of a “good enough” person all the time seems painfully out of reach. We need to be smart, and physically strong, and stylish, and interesting, and successful, and sexy. Oh yes, and soulful too. And no matter how much success we achieve, we never leave the feeling that someone is doing even better, ”the doctor writes.

Our culture encourages self-discipline. But there is always someone smarter, more successful, more attractive than us. And when this is discovered, the inner critic wakes up, self-esteem drops, and with it the feeling of happiness and satisfaction is dulled.

However, there is an alternative to self-esteem – self-compassion. Dr. Neff took the idea of ​​self-compassion from the philosophy of Buddhism and told what modern science thinks about it.

From the book you can learn why it is important to have compassion for yourself (and not just love yourself!) and support yourself in the same way as we would support a good friend. There are practical exercises and stories to help readers learn how to be truly kind to themselves.

“Method” Genesis “. Love yourself more than family and work”

Irina Maslova, AST, 2021

Many people know the feeling that something has gone wrong with their lives. For those who do not have the experience and the habit of investing in their personal growth, this book will help you understand that everything is fine with you and you can handle everything.

The author is Irina Maslova, psychologist, author of the Genesis method. The task of the method is to find those moments in life when the primary emotions were in an acute phase and have not yet passed into a depressed state. By accepting your emotions, living them, you recognize your right to happiness and find new solutions. Your reality is changing.

After reading this book, you will get out of toxic relationships, get rid of the need to prove to others that you are valuable, discover false beliefs and trauma in your sex life, understand how to move from a negative scenario to an effective one, and move on to a new stage of life in which you like yourself. .