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Confidence is the key to feminine strength. After conducting hundreds of interviews and research in France, journalist Kat Jamie Callan found out how French women manage to always remain confident and pleased with themselves without abusing cosmetics and visits to a plastic surgeon.
Method number 1: Secret garden
From time to time, we all feel emotionally empty, small troubles and problems seem to “bite off” a piece from our sense of “I”. Instead of seeking solace in sweets, alcohol, or the arms of a former lover who has already hurt us more than once, treat your tiredness with respect.
The Secret Garden is a place where you can regain a sense of independence and strength. It nourishes and supports the psyche. “When the outside world deprives her of strength, a French woman can retire to her bedroom, draw the curtains and sit down to read a novel or do yoga,” Kat Jamie Callan shares her observations. “She can just lie down and think about Jean-Claude – about the day they kissed in Chamonix … Her walk will take on a new lightness, and she will be filled to the brim with a sense of her own desirability …”
The Secret Garden might just be an interesting book she found in the library. A woman chooses a cafe for herself, where she goes to read every day, and appears at home an hour later than usual, “something not like that” – this is how the book influenced her. She returns to her daily life with a newfound sense of herself in the world, separate from her lover, husband, children. Returning to the real world, she carries a piece of mystery. This is very helpful for self-esteem. No, you don’t need to say a word about your secret garden, but the very fact that she has one adds mystery and power.
Method number 2: Beautiful things
We are used to using inconspicuous, “ordinary” things every day, and our self-esteem falls because of this. We forget that we generally have beautiful things. A French woman will never forget about the silver tea set presented by her grandmother – it will show off on her table every day, and not just on holidays.
Method #3: Inspire others
Although we often do not realize it, every day we have the opportunity to inspire someone, to change someone’s life for the better. We are an example of how to live in this world. Even without realizing it, you can be a mentor, an example for younger women and men. So if you don’t feel like looking good for yourself or even your husband, do it for the next generation.
Our presence in the world will not only improve our lives, but can make the whole world a better place.
“If we start with a simple walk and allow ourselves the pleasure of “seeing and showing ourselves to others”, then we will discover the charm of a man who is waiting for us at the local post office,” Kat Jamie Callan gives examples from the life of French women. “We’ll stop to try some wonderful new perfumes at the nearest gift shop, make a habit of rummaging through the shelves of the bookstore down the street.
By doing all this, we ground ourselves, we begin to develop a “sense of comradeship” in ourselves, discovering common interests with the owners of local shops, flirting with a pretty salesman in a stationery store, discussing city politics with a girl in a stock center. As a result, our presence in the world will not only improve our lives, but can make the whole world better.”
Method number 4: Nurture your uniqueness
The secret key to the beauty of a French woman: she is pleased with herself. The only thing that makes you look and feel beautiful is your own unique self, which expresses your heart and mind. Therefore, the main thing in any relationship is to preserve your personality, live your life, and not the life of your husband, children, friends.
You can love a person, perform various “feats” for him and enjoy it, but you cannot live for him, and he cannot live for you. Your loved one loves you for who you are, and you need to keep this “what you are” always …
“The Frenchwoman knows that it was her femininity, her difference from her husband that attracted his attention to her,” says Kat Jamie Callan. “It was these qualities that challenged him. If we become the twins of our beloved, always agreeing with them, wearing the same clothes as them, life will become completely insipid!
Therefore, it is important to maintain your individuality and “excellence”. If a woman does not sacrifice her individuality in a relationship, but remains a separate person, a man knows that she is spiritually free, even when they are together.
Method number 5: Moderation in everything
Dress for a date or to the gym, go out in public or sit at home. The same principle of “black and white” manifests itself in us when we either overeat or go on a diet. So it is in love: we deny ourselves sensuality, and then we become anxious, lose our sense of confidence and, as a result, sleep with a man who is completely unsuitable for us – a kind of emotional equivalent of a large bag of chips.
Think of love as a piece of very good dark chocolate. Don’t go cheap
Strive for moderation in everything. Think of love as a piece of very good dark chocolate. Don’t go cheap. Really enjoy this delicacy – sensuality.
Start “seducing” (in the French sense of the word) everyone and everyone. Practice the subtle art of flirting. It’s not about “lassoing” a man or getting your husband to pay more attention to you. Treat every day, every moment of your life as an opportunity to feel the power of your desire. Cultivate a sense of “I” and take care of the health of your libido by dressing well, taking care of your body and wearing beautiful underwear.
Source: C. D. Callan, French Women Don’t Sleep Alone (Eksmo, 2014).