5 exercises to change your life

Each of us at least once thought about how he lives. And after this inevitably comes the thought of how I would like to live. We can choose a lot: where to work, with whom to communicate, where to go, with whom to live, what to do in a particular situation. And every choice we make affects how our life will be. But choice is responsibility. Responsibility for your actions, feelings and thoughts.

In psychotherapeutic practice, I use a valuable rule: “Thoughts – feelings – actions.” If you apply it in life, then creating each new day will be much easier. What is thought? These are unspoken words that are born in our mind. After the birth of a thought, it becomes possible to make a choice: which thought should be thrown out of the head, and which one should be left – negative or positive. It is from this choice that depends on what feelings we will experience further. Any thought continues in feelings. The negative thought “He didn’t call, so he doesn’t care about me” leads to negative feelings: “I’m scared, hurt, sad.” The continuation of these feelings is the action: “I will call him myself and express everything I think.”

It is according to this algorithm that we shape our lives in all areas: in relations with others, in work, in relation to ourselves, to money, to health. Absolutely everything starts with a thought, and if we learn to make the right choice in the direction of positive thinking, we will very quickly notice how our life changes.

Step #1. We change statements. A colleague of mine once said: “In psychology, it is very important to ask competent questions to a client. The result depends on it. The question we ask will determine the answer.” I am convinced that we all need to learn how to ask competent questions to ourselves. If you learn to ask: “How do I feel right now?”, “Do I feel good or bad?”, “Why do I feel this way now?”, “What emotions are prevailing inside me right now?”, “I would like to feel better ?”, then you will get to know yourself better.

It is important to remember that the power that helps us overcome any obstacles is within us. How we use power depends on our thoughts and statements. The power of thought controls actions. It’s the only thing we can control. And choosing thoughts and statements, we choose a certain life.

Affirmations are attitudes that we have adopted from significant people in our childhood, adolescence, or adulthood. For example, a father from childhood claimed: “You are a bad girl, you behave badly and because of this they will not be friends with you.” As a result, the matured girl is convinced that in order to have friends, she must be “good” for everyone and try to please everyone. But she still has no friends – there are only those who use her. She is lonely and unhappy. Affirmations change the way we think. From what thoughts are formed in our mind to a greater extent, the life experience that we form for ourselves depends.

What to do with the negative statements that are ingrained in our mind? They need to be changed, converted. How? Write down on a piece of paper all the negative statements about life and relationships that you have heard from significant people. Next to each negative statement, write a positive statement. For example: “Everyone in our family was a loser, and you will not achieve anything in life” is converted into a positive statement: “I am wise and quick-witted. I can do everything. My life is filled with success.” It is important to say statements in the present tense, not in the future. Read all the positive statements you have written out loud every day for a week (or more) until you begin to truly believe in them.

Affirmations need to be surrounded by positive thoughts. The more we think about how terrible our life is, the worse it gets. The more we talk about difficulties, the more difficult it will be for us. Change your thoughts, your approach, and the very life around you will change.

Step #2. We neutralize stress. Stress paralyzes us, prevents us from thinking positively, prevents us from feeling life and moving forward. Sometimes we justify our failures or laziness with this state. How to overcome this obstacle? You need to understand what stress really is:

• fear of change
• inability to prioritize life
• shifting responsibility for the inability to control their feelings to other people
• negative thoughts and the wrong atmosphere in the current situation

Everyone knows that yoga helps to restore the harmony of the soul and body. Everyone knows that with the help of breathing we can calm the nerves and put our thoughts in order. Breathing is the first physical action that helps with stress. Start breathing deeply, do it consciously, focus on each inhalation and exhalation. Imagine how air enters the lungs, how it exits. Such focusing helps to switch the mind from negative thoughts to neutral ones, and then concentrate on converting into positive thoughts. When the breath evens out and the head becomes free, ask yourself: “What am I afraid of, what scares me so much?”

Stress is fear, and we need to find and speak its cause: “My strength is inside me, my world takes care of me, I have no fear, I am not afraid of anything, I create a harmonious, happy life.” Repeat these affirmations until you feel peace and joy. Do not accept the word “stress”, do not justify internal and external tension with it. Remember that you are the master of your life, your thoughts, feelings and actions. And only in your power to accept stress or refuse it, in your power to feel sorry for yourself and fall into depression or refuse it and think positively.

Learn to create thoughts that will make you happy. Happiness tends to attract love and kindness into life. There are a lot of affirmations that will help redirect thoughts in a stressful situation. You can come up with them yourself, based on a few examples: “I am free from all fears, there is no place for stress in my world”, “I am successful and fearless, every day I feel more secure”, “I am calm, I am balanced, I am filled with love and kindness”, “I have excellent relationships with friends, relatives, colleagues. I am loved and appreciated.”

Step #3. We learn self-respect. You will never appreciate and respect yourself if you think badly of yourself. Very often we say to ourselves: “You are not like everyone else”, “You are good for nothing”, “You do not have the courage for this”, “You must …”. When positive thoughts appear in our minds, we increase our level of satisfaction with ourselves and our actions. Therefore, statements like “I’m great”, “I’m an interesting person”, “I accept myself as I am, with all my advantages and disadvantages”, “I don’t owe anything to anyone” help to “wake up” self-esteem. Self-esteem increases our self-confidence, and self-confidence contributes to the development of self-esteem.

There are several methods of working with a sense of self-respect. And these methods are very effective: they return to us the type of thinking that was characteristic of us in childhood, when we loved and accepted ourselves without conditions.

Write down on a piece of paper all the negative statements about yourself as a person that you have heard from significant people. Next to each negative statement, write a positive one. Say them as often as possible. Here are some universal positive affirmations that will boost your self-esteem: “I love myself. I am perfect”, “I feel good about myself. I am worthy of love”, “I accept myself for who I am, here and now”, “I have a developed sense of self-worth”, “My mind is filled with healthy, positive thoughts”, “I love myself without conditions”.

Step number 4. We learn forgiveness. Can a person feel happy if he is filled with bitterness, anger, resentment? Voluntarily agreeing to sit in the “well of resentment”, we will never get out of the sad darkness. Sadness, anxiety, fear, pain, guilt, resentment, anger… if we can’t part with these feelings, then we don’t want to let them go. Moreover, it means that we are comfortable in a dark, resentful life. We ourselves suffer the most from this, and not the person who once offended us. Even if it happened recently, it is already in the past. Only the present can become the foundation for our future.

To forgive the offender does not mean to justify his unworthy behavior. Forgiveness is a conscious action. It frees us from negative energy. We have a choice: we can continue to live in resentment, or we can start a new happy life. No matter how serious the offense, no matter how severe the trauma, living in the past is not the best choice.

How to overcome unwillingness or inability to forgive someone? Take a piece of paper and write: “I, (your name), forgive you, (name of the offender). I forgive you for the pain you caused me. I forgive you, (name of the offender), and free you and myself from this feeling. I forgive you. I forgive you. I forgive you”. For 5 days, read this affirmation as often as possible until you feel peace and joy.

Step number 5. Learn to attract success. For many people, success is a continuous movement towards something more, towards expanding the comfort zone, towards constant growth and understanding of relationships with oneself and the outside world. We make the mistake of saying to ourselves, “I know that successful people are gifted people who have superpowers that I don’t have. That’s why I’m not successful.” This is self-deception and an attempt to justify oneself.

To achieve success, you need to act, move towards the intended goal. It’s not a superpower, it’s a decision that each of us can make. Our success largely depends on the ability and desire to communicate with ourselves and those around us. Having learned to develop happiness, joy and love within ourselves, abandoning negative statements in favor of self-respect and faith in ourselves, we will automatically begin to project this into all areas of our lives. And then success will not keep you waiting.