Society allows 20-year-olds to do stupid things, go on adventures — this is how young people look for their place in life. At 30, the desire to start a family and build a nest is encouraged. And what do others expect from us after 50? And, most importantly, what do we ourselves need to feel happy?
At the border of the age of 50 years, tests for strength and viability in life and profession begin. From a favorite job, they can “ask” to hire a younger specialist in our place and at a lower salary. Children become independent, begin to live separately, and parents develop an “empty nest syndrome”. Or even a partner can die — grief does not choose whom to spare.
A goal-setting psychologist recommends mastering 5 skills that will help you get through this stage of life with dignity and feel happier.
1. Radically reconsider your attitude to the body
Ask yourself: «Do I want to live long?» And after an affirmative answer, think about what you are doing for this. The body is our best friend, but most of us have not taken care of it for many years. True, sometimes we remembered that it would be nice to go to yoga or at least do exercises. Now the hour of reckoning has come: from time to time the body gives distress signals. And if until now we have forgotten about a healthy lifestyle, now it’s time.
It’s time to clean up your diet, go for preventive medical check-ups, get better sleep, and introduce sports and physical education into your daily schedule. In the next step, we will think about our cognitive health.
2. Review Limiting Beliefs
Limiting beliefs, or attitudes, are our thoughts about important areas of life, actions. Once they were «wired» into the mind by parents, teachers, personal experience. They are difficult to analyze, but they can be recognized by the marker words “always”, “never”, “everyone”, “impossible”, “should”. They protected us in difficult situations, but over time they became a barrier to revival.
Write down everything you think about work, money, relationships, love, and happiness. Take a critical look at each statement — is it true today?
Who told you this and when? Why do you think so? Have there been cases where the statement turned out to be false?
Try to become free and rewrite the wording for the future. Such work is best done with a psychologist or coach, but if they are not available, a reliable friend you trust will also be useful. Tell him and try to answer the questions listed in the dialogue.
3. Appreciate all your achievements — life and work
Those who are now 50+ have survived the difficult times of perestroika, are used to expecting a dirty trick and do not believe that things can be good for a long time. They tend to devalue their achievements in their personal lives as well. Therefore, when they go out into the world, be it an interview with an employer or a date with a new acquaintance, they crumple, hang out and hesitate to talk about themselves.
Try to do everything differently. Write a list of your accomplishments. Separately in the professional sphere, separately — in different areas of life: health, family, hobbies. List everything that you have done, how much effort you have invested in a particular area. Do not miss or belittle what you have.
This simple exercise has a lot of practical meaning — when you read a long list of what you have done, mastered, achieved and accomplished, your self-esteem will certainly be strengthened. After all, you did it all, and no one else.
4. Forgive yourself and others
But what if in every area of life, as luck would have it, failures or failures are remembered? Write them all down and analyze them carefully. Most of these failures are apparent. This is especially evident over time.
In 10-20 years, what seemed like a catastrophe is seen as a minor oversight. All this is in the past and is unlikely to greatly affect the present.
But if you still consider what happened a failure, instead of blaming yourself or others, forgive everyone. Write “sorry” next to each entry, speak from the heart and discard what was written. This symbolic gesture of letting go will help shift your focus to the present and future.
5. Thank yourself and others for everything that happened to you.
Gratitude is the strongest tool for interacting with yourself and the world. Start each evening thanking yourself and others for the day. Yourself — for everything you have done, learned what you have learned. Others — for seeing you, helping you, recognizing you. You will see how soon your life will change.
At the age of 50+, society expects from people what is not available to young people. First of all, the wisdom of the soul. In a broad sense, not only in the context of understandable everyday rules that can be subtracted from magazines or the Internet.
The acquired experience and depth of knowledge help us not only to feel harmoniously, but also to share with others. It is better to do this on request so that our advice does not turn out to be unsolicited and does not begin to annoy. And then the value of our skills and knowledge will only increase.