4 types of temperament and how they manifest themselves in men

Temperament can be defined as «psychic constitution». If the physique is the shape of the body that we inherited from our parents: height, width of the pelvic bones (as well as the length of the nose, eye color, and so on), then the psycho-composition is the same “inheritance”, only in the field of the structure of the psyche. Temperament is given by nature, and it can only be corrected by character.

The types of temperament were discovered by Hippocrates, and then the theory was refined by many: from the ancient Roman physician and philosopher Galen to the Russian academician Pavlov. There are many approaches to the theory of temperament in psychology, but we will analyze the most practical, although somewhat simplified.

Types of temperament differ according to two criteria: the speed of emotional reactions and the area of ​​uXNUMXbuXNUMXbtheir reactions — outside or inside.

1. Sanguine

His reactions are fast and take place outside. Emotions change quickly and are expressed vividly: laughter, tears, lively facial expressions, gestures. Sanguine people have a positive attitude. This is a light, lively temperament: if such people are offended, they easily forgive. Often a sanguine person is rather superficial, quickly establishes social contacts, but cannot experience deep feelings for a long time.

Sanguine male — energetic, positive, light, romantic, usually not very practical, artistic, with quick speech and a smile on his face. He can easily and passionately fall in love, and then just as quickly get carried away by another. At the same time, the emotions of the abandoned woman will be completely incomprehensible to him: “Why cry? There are plenty of other men around!”

With such men it is fun, easy, they are addicted, mobile, creative, open, but not always able to be faithful. They need to learn stability and practicality, develop empathy — consider the emotions of other people.

2. Choleric

His emotional reactions are slow, flowing from the outside. Moreover, “slow” does not mean sluggish: it’s just that switching from emotion to emotion is much harder than for sanguine people. If the choleric person is offended, then for a long time, if he is angry, then he drives himself into a rage.

Choleric «sticks» in emotions, it is difficult for him to switch, because emotions are strong, deep, pronounced, often negative. If the choleric loves, then with insane jealousy, if he hates, then to the gnashing of teeth. It is difficult for him to trust others, but if he trusts, then without looking back.

The biggest problem of choleric people is the lack of control over emotions. Such people should learn to restrain themselves, be flexible, listen to others, and not succumb to emotional impulses.

Choleric men are active, charismatic, emotional, prone to strong feelings and decisive actions, reckless, persistent (or even stubborn), vindictive, vengeful. If they are with you, you are behind a stone wall; if they are against you, you will be in trouble.

Often choleric and sanguine people are confused due to the similarity of emotional reactions. The difference is in the depth of feelings: a sanguine person easily boils and cools down, and a choleric person slowly boils inside, explodes and then leaves for a long time.

Secrets of calming choleric people

Since the choleric slowly switches from emotion to emotion, his mood does not change quickly either. If he is angry or offended, do not expect him to quickly come into a good mood, forgive you and hug you, as a sanguine person does — he needs time to cool down, grumble.

Tell an angry choleric person, “I’m sorry this happened. You’re right, I want to discuss this with you a little later» — and leave him alone. Don’t expect him to accept your apology right away. He may even reproach you. He needs time to calm down. After 10-30 minutes, he will be able to calmly discuss the situation.

First error — to reproach the choleric that he does not accept an apology immediately: “Well, I apologized! What are you going on?!» Remember, a choleric person cannot switch quickly. It’s like a steam locomotive: it takes time to stop.

Second big mistake — do not apologize at all, but wait for him to cool down on his own. An angry and rejected choleric will wind himself up even more, and it will be worse.

Choleric calming algorithm: apologized, left him alone, waited, reconciled. Do not find out with the choleric who is right and who is wrong while he is on emotions. At this moment, he is simply not capable of sober judgments. Let him calm down — then he will be able to talk to you normally and admit if he was wrong.

3. Phlegmatic

Emotional reactions are fast and internal. His emotions are hidden inside, but that doesn’t mean they don’t exist! In the soul, a phlegmatic person can boil, worry, love … But on the outside he will not show this in any way — such is his temperament. From the phlegmatic one should not expect passions, serenades and chivalrous feats (however, he is still capable of feats, but without pomp, theatricality).

Such a person may seem slow, sometimes sullen, and sometimes serene. A phlegmatic man slowly courts and waits in the wings, rarely taking the initiative. But with him you will be «like behind a stone wall.» It is wrong to think that a phlegmatic person is more reliable than a choleric or sanguine person, he is simply slower in decisions, in movements, in expressing feelings, therefore an impression of solidity, solidity, authority and even wisdom is created. With a phlegmatic, «quiet family happiness» is possible, but it can be very boring with him.

Sanguine and choleric people admire the external restraint and calmness of phlegmatic people. It seems to them that Stirlitz is in front of them, who keeps his thoughts and emotions under control. But phlegmatic people themselves envy the emotionality and creative impulses of choleric and sanguine people, their life «to the fullest.»

4. Melancholic

His emotions are inside and switch slowly. Closed, easily vulnerable, subtly feeling, sluggishly reacting outwardly, the melancholic tends to “stick” in negative emotions for a long time. Melancholy people are often very creative, among the brightest representatives are Tchaikovsky, Gogol, Yesenin, Gumilyov. And at the same time — gravitating towards self-digging and even self-destruction (Eeyore the donkey).

In a familiar, calm environment, the melancholic feels at ease and becomes a good listener, a pleasant conversationalist, a creative person, a true friend. The problem is that he often finds himself “out of his element”, and then the interlocutors get complaints, groans, reproaches, insults.

Melancholics are more likely than other types to be prone to prolonged depression, but if they work on their character, they become extraordinary people who see the world differently from the rest (Descartes, Darwin).

Melancholic men are apathetic, timid, lack of initiative, more often than representatives of other temperaments turn into «mama’s sons» or «henpecked» (and melancholic women often become victims of domestic violence).

A melancholic man is in great need of support. In return, you will receive a faithful partner-friend.

COMPATIBILITY OF TEMPERAMENTS

They say that opposites attract. This is not entirely true, and if, as such, the “attraction” of opposite temperaments to each other is possible, then a harmonious life is hardly.

People with the same temperament are well compatible: two sanguine, two choleric and so on. The union of neighboring temperaments is also possible: sanguine and choleric, choleric and phlegmatic, phlegmatic and melancholic. But the combination «through temperament»: sanguine and phlegmatic, choleric and melancholic — is already explosive. Mobile sanguine people are annoyed by the impenetrability of phlegmatic people, and quick-tempered choleric people scream furiously at frightened melancholic people, forcing them to close even more.

What helps balance relationships? Character — it can compensate for the peculiarities of temperament: choleric people can learn restraint and eco-friendly expression of emotions, sanguine people — empathy and depth, phlegmatic people — openness and trust, melancholic people — positive thinking.

The difference in temperaments is not a sentence. It can be compensated by learning communication techniques. But it’s still easier to build relationships with someone who looks like us than with a person «from another planet.»