Yes, there is anger and anger. Sometimes anger can be useful, if not necessary, for example when it is meant to protect you from aggression. Woman victim of attempted snatching may rout her attacker by getting angry, rather than submitting. In this context, anger is a defense mechanism, classified under the category of mature defense mechanisms.

But very often, anger is only an epidermal reaction, disproportionate, to a situation altogether banal if one takes a step back. It is then triggered by an accumulation of factors, such as fatigue, frustrations or disappointments that have arisen in the previous hours. And all of a sudden, you explode: the famous drop of water that broke the camel’s back. It is this anger that we are going to try to channel.

1. Analyze your anger

To understand how and why you get angry, he first makes you observe yourself. Go Back in Time: What Happened Before You Exploded? By carrying out this exercise, you will understand the mechanism of accumulation of distinct (or related) events, which led to get angry, and make you lose all control. Anger is indeed often only the consequence of other events, which your mind and your body will translate into emotions. 

2. Detect the warning signs

Thanks to this analytical work, you will be able to detect the signals sent to you by your brain, in order to act before it is too late. Fatigue, sighs, shaking hands, difficulty concentrating, ruminating, wanting to do nothing or on the contrary to drop everything. Here are the signals! 

3. Take action before it’s too late

You have become aware of what puts you in a state conducive to triggering your anger. It is very good ! You did a lot of the work The second is not to suffer, but to act. Before anger overwhelms you. There are several strategies for this.

– If you feel angry, then, not far from getting angry, but you have not yet exploded: é-va-cu-ez! Some therapists explain that it is normal to want to strangle someone, but since it is forbidden, it is necessary to use subterfuge. One recommends strangling… a pillow! Others, more simply, to type in a punching bag, or in the cushions of a sofa. You will see, that does a lot of good! 

– Another solution, more pragmatic: to play sports. Yes, any sport, which mobilizes energy, but also releases endorphins in the body, allows you to stem your anger. 

– Otherwise, there is another technique, also recommended by many therapists: writing. Yes, write down what is causing your anger. Expel on a sheet of paper, a newspaper, in a note on your smartphone, in an email that you will only send to yourself, what you have on your heart. 

4. Avoid situations that trigger your anger

Now you know how to detect what triggers your anger, and control it before exploding. The additional step is to succeed in evading the triggers. Whether it’s a place, a person, a situation that annoys you, you have the power to say no. You won’t go to this place, you won’t see this person, you won’t put yourself in this situation. This is called an avoidance strategy. Corn if, despite everything, you have to undergo one of these risky situations, share what is causing your anger with a person you trust, who can help you with kind words, or by changing your mind.

As you can see, to conclude, anger is not inevitable. Before it arrives and overwhelms you, and makes you say or do nonsense, you can avoid it, because it will, more often than not, only get you into trouble. But for this iIt is important to eliminate or avoid what triggers it, and if not, to evacuate regularly, before the vase is filled, and overflows! 

Read also: How to control your anger?