Internet dating is still popular. And judging by the results of statistics, the chances of establishing relationships in social networks are very high. But how to reduce the number of unsuccessful dates and bring the long-awaited meeting with your destiny closer? Psychologist Eli Finkel gives advice to those who expect to find love on the Web.
The popularity of dating sites is growing every day. We increasingly choose potential partners on the Internet. The main danger that awaits us in such acquaintances is that, communicating with an invisible interlocutor, we often create the wrong impression about him (and about ourselves). When evaluating someone based on messages or posts on a page in social networks, there is a high probability of being deceived. To avoid mistakes and disappointments, use the simple advice of a psychologist.
1. Don’t waste time. The number of candidates is dizzying, but try to narrow your search parameters — otherwise you risk spending your whole life on it. Determine for yourself some of the most important criteria (age, education, social status, place of residence, character traits) and immediately enter into correspondence with the right people.
2. Don’t rely too much on questionnaires. Virtual tests do not guarantee a XNUMX% hit — you simply conduct an initial screening in the ocean of photographs and questionnaires. They help to determine only the most general parameters: the region of residence, education … For the rest, trust your intuition.
If you’re interested in a new acquaintance, set up a face-to-face meeting as soon as possible.
3. Do not delay the correspondence. Online communication makes sense at the stage of making acquaintances. Give yourself time to exchange letters, but resist the temptation to prolong this stage. If you are interested in a new acquaintance, set up a face-to-face meeting as soon as possible. A long exchange of letters can be misleading — even if the interlocutor is extremely sincere, we involuntarily begin to build an imaginary image that will certainly not coincide with reality. It is more useful to meet with the candidate you are interested in and decide whether to continue communication.
4. Meet in a cafe. Where to make a first date? The best choice, as studies show, is an invitation to a cup of coffee in a democratic coffee shop. Going to the cinema, to a concert, an exhibition, or even to a restaurant is a bad decision, since meeting in a crowded place does not give a complete picture of a person. And the atmosphere of the cafe and the common table create the effect of trust and attitude towards each other.
About the Expert: Eli Finkel is a social psychologist at Northwestern University (USA).