Contents
- 1. He always offers to take you where you need to go and pick you up.
- 2. He tries to isolate you from others by masking control with concern.
- 3. He requires you to constantly report on your actions, movements and social contacts.
- 4. He gives unsolicited advice and compares you to others.
- Control and love are different categories
Many of us have been taught since childhood that physical violence is unacceptable in a relationship, and if a partner raises a hand at us at least once, we must immediately part. But emotional abuse was much less talked about. It’s time to fix it. Here are some subtle signs that one person in a couple is encroaching on the freedom of the other.
1. He always offers to take you where you need to go and pick you up.
Are you going to a concert with your friends, and your partner insists on giving you a lift, even if he himself is not going there, and the venue is on the other side of town? And after the concert, it turns out that he is waiting for you at the door of the club?
This can be regarded as a gesture of sincere concern. But if this happens every time, no matter where and with whom you are going, you should be wary: maybe the point is distrust and that the partner is trying to control how much time you spend with friends. After all, instead of sitting somewhere and discussing the concert, you have to hastily say goodbye and jump into the car.
2. He tries to isolate you from others by masking control with concern.
Have you ever heard from a partner that someone you know is a bad influence on you or is not really such a good friend as it seems? Or maybe he insists that you invite all your friends to your house, instead of going to a cafe with them or going on a visit?
Most likely, it is about the desire to control everything that happens in your social life, and ideally cut you off from friends and loved ones under the pretext of caring for you.
The partner constantly asks where you are and with whom, and becomes furious if you do not warn even about a slight change in plans? And if you mention that you went to lunch with a colleague, he starts asking about who this colleague is, what you talked about and was anyone else with you?
This is a very worrying signal. You should consider how much longer you are willing to endure such accusations and the general atmosphere of distrust.
4. He gives unsolicited advice and compares you to others.
Do you regularly hear what a good wife or a real man should be like? Do they read moralizing to you and set other people as an example? Needless to say, such a relationship cannot be called healthy?
Control and love are different categories
Imagine a person who is struggling with alcohol addiction and is now in remission. When he is invited to a party where there are guaranteed rivers of alcohol, his partner can express his concerns as delicately as possible, and they will be dictated by love.
When a man does not let you into the club because you love to dance and everyone “will stare at you”, there is no talk of any love and care: fear, low self-esteem and a desire to control you speak in a partner.
The desire to control is not yet a XNUMX% sign of abuse, but often these phenomena go hand in hand. Isolating another and trying to control them instead of respecting and recognizing their right to make independent decisions is toxic behavior.
If you caught yourself constantly worrying about the possible reactions of your partner, you should think about it. There is no place for this in a healthy relationship. It is a space of acceptance, peace and security.