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Dreaming about something is great, moving towards a dream is even better. Why is it sometimes so difficult to take a step towards a cherished goal? And why do we so easily give up on our aspirations? The reason is lack of willpower. The good news is that willpower can be trained!
We all strive for something: lose 15 kilograms, get a promotion at work, raise children to be wonderful people, or help everyone in need. It doesn’t matter how lofty or mundane your dreams are, in any case, their realization requires certain labor costs and strict self-control. So, it depends on your will power. And it is precisely its absence that prevents us from approaching our cherished goal.
Remember how many times you promised yourself to take work more seriously, run in the morning or eat less sweets. Everything went well at first. How long did you last? a week? Month? half a year? And then you got tired and abandoned a good undertaking.
The reason is that willpower and self-control are not unlimited. They end like a phone charger
For a long time it was thought otherwise. Psychologists have said that if you want something badly enough, you will have enough willpower. However, in 1996, self-control researcher Professor Roy Baumeister conducted an experiment that proved that this was not the case.
He invited 67 people into the room and placed a chocolate chip cookie in front of them. However, only half of the subjects were allowed to taste the treat. Others could eat radishes. Many of the disadvantaged group showed an interest in cookies: they looked longingly at someone else’s treat, some even took cookies to sniff them.
All participants were then asked to complete an unsolvable puzzle. People from the second group gave up twice as fast. The need to eat radishes instead of chocolate has exhausted their willpower. The resource was not enough to fight the puzzle. Baumeister called this phenomenon «ego depletion». Since then, dozens of new studies have been conducted, and all confirmed the results of this experiment.
What drains our willpower?
Everyday life is full of temptations and distractions that force us to expend willpower. What are we spending it on?
1. Impulse control
We constantly fight against idle temptations and do our job, although instead we want to read Facebook (an extremist organization banned in Russia) or sneak out of the office early to meet friends.
2. Productivity control
We do our best despite being tired.
3. Control behavior and emotions
This is required by professional ethics and corporate rules. Even when the work environment is tense or colleagues are making decisions that you disagree with, you try not to raise your voice or lash out at others.
4. Control over thoughts
We focus on work, despite the various dreams and fantasies that appear in our heads.
How to train and accumulate willpower
But not all is lost. Unlike motivation, willpower can be strengthened like a muscle. The same Roy Baumeister in 1999 found that students who consciously exercised willpower were much better at self-control than those who consciously did not work on it.
1. Plan important steps in the morning
Self-control works best in the morning because you have had all night to replenish your resources. What does this mean in practice? If you decide to exercise more, go to the gym in the morning. If your goal is to write a book or finish an important project, book the first few hours of the day for computer work.
2. Manage your energy while staying calm
Peace of mind makes you stronger. Research has proven that many people prefer «high-intensity» emotions such as excitement or even stress. Think about it: people drink coffee to cheer themselves up and put off important things until the last minute to get them done on adrenaline.
However, anxiety and stress tire the body. And the more tired you are, the less willpower you have. So, you need to learn how to manage energy.
You connect your mobile phone to the network to charge it. Do the same with yourself. Do yoga or meditation, take a break in the middle of the working day for this. Research has proven that even 15 minutes of spiritual practice can replenish willpower.
3. Don’t take on too much
Don’t spread yourself out over several different projects. If you decide to lose weight, you should not learn to play the guitar at the same time. Pick one dream and focus on realizing it.
4. Focus on the end goal
According to neuroscientist Elliott Berkman, “When we work on what we enjoy, we are unlikely to be exhausted.” He also claims that if you always think about the main goal, you can get additional energy to achieve it. So whenever you lack willpower, imagine in colors how you will feel when you realize your dream.
About the author: Emma Seppala is a psychologist, director of the Compassion and Altruism Research Center at Stanford University, and author of The Path to Happiness: How to Succeed with the Science of Happiness.