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Many of us tend to deal with “really big” problems and disagreements with a partner, completely ignoring the “little troubles”. But in vain: any small problem risks turning into a big one over time, and omissions can one day lead to serious scandals. What alarm bells should be paid attention to today?
1. You have different views, plans and expectations for the future
You are probably having a great time together, you are having fun and interesting with each other. Perhaps you are physically attracted to each other, and the sex is just great. But ask yourself this: what will happen tomorrow? In a year, five or ten years? Do you and your partner want the same thing?
Maybe now you safely manage to completely ignore the fact that, for example, you really want a family and children, and your partner is a convinced childfree, but sooner or later this issue will become quite acute. And it’s better not to bring it to this, but to check your expectations and dot the i’s right now.
2. Household responsibilities are unevenly distributed
Many of us grew up in families where the lion’s share of household chores fell on the shoulders of a woman – a wife and mother. She did laundry, cleaned, went grocery shopping, cooked, got us to school and helped with homework. Our mothers and grandmothers simply did not imagine that it was possible to live differently, but does such a scenario suit you?
If it seems to you that you “drag everything on yourself”, and your partner does not help you at all, it’s time to talk about it, without waiting until the bowl of your patience overflows.
3. Both of you are silent about the fact that sex “left” the relationship.
Many couples manage for years to ignore the “elephant in the room” – a question about intimate relationships that remains unresolved for a long time. Perhaps one partner does not want sex. Perhaps both.
In the first case, there is a high risk that the second partner will start looking for a way to satisfy his needs somewhere and with someone else. In the second, it is important to understand what kind of relationship you have in general. Alas, this topic is still considered “inconvenient”, “awkward” in many couples, but the sooner you start discussing it, the more chances you have to save your union.
4. You are too comfortable with each other.
It would seem that there could be something bad here at all – isn’t this what we all strive for? Yes and no. The problem is that when we become absolutely comfortable, we relax and stop trying altogether. We no longer work on relationships, we don’t invest in them, but we just go with the flow.
And this, of course, is not about starting to “strain” and deliberately make each other uncomfortable. But it is important to continue to grow – both individually and together, as a couple, to invest in your union. And this, first of all, implies an open dialogue about problems and about everything that worries you.