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Are men really only interested in the climax in sex? Can they have multiple orgasms in a row? How often do they fake an orgasm? Psychologists and sexologists separate truth from prejudice.
Some women tend to think of men as sex machines, always ready for exploits. In fact, everything is more complicated. Men are also not in the mood, they also need time to get excited. And of course, the pleasure of sex for them is also associated with emotional intimacy.
Myths about sexuality can complicate relationships and prevent partners from pleasing each other. Especially when it comes to such a delicate topic as orgasm.
Myth #1: Men reach orgasm easier and faster.
“Some women get turned on just as quickly as men,” says sex coach Carol Queen. “At the same time, many men need time and a special environment to set themselves up for sex.
In this area, everything depends on personal characteristics — there are no strict standards. In addition, partners may not have the same sexual rhythm: say, she prefers fast and frequent penetrations, and for him the greatest pleasure is to move slowly, stretching the pleasure as much as possible.
Myth #2: Men don’t fake orgasms.
According to surveys, 25% of men pretend from time to time. The reasons may be different. Someone is sure that the ability to quickly reach orgasm speaks of strength and youth, and thus seeks to maintain their self-esteem. Someone is trying to adapt to the rhythm of a partner.
“My 25-year-old patient told me he had to fake orgasms,” says Abraham Morgenthaler, author of Why Men Fake It. — It was difficult for him to achieve orgasm during sex with a girl. Because of this, she began to doubt her sexuality, worry about not being attractive enough or doing something wrong.
For my client, the fake orgasm was a way to cheer her up. One can argue about how this may affect the relationship in a couple, but such a manifestation of concern from the young man seemed noble to me.
Myth #3: Men only want orgasms for sex.
“Many men look at sex as a road from point A to point B, from arousal to orgasm, and this prevents them from enjoying the journey,” says sexologist Samantha Evans. “But those who do not limit themselves to the ultimate goal, but try to explore all the stages of the path, bring real pleasure not only to themselves, but also to their partner.
More to say, those who think only about how to achieve orgasm are more likely to run into problems. They are sure that the ability to experience an orgasm is the main proof of high potency. If they fail to complete the task, they become anxious and may even become depressed.”
Myth #4: Men don’t have multiple orgasms.
Usually, after an orgasm, a man needs about 10-15 minutes to “recharge”. This is due to the powerful release of serotonin and prolactin satisfaction hormones, which prevent arousal. But this does not happen if the orgasm is not accompanied by ejaculation.
“For many men, sex without ejaculation opens up access to multiple orgasms,” says psychologist Deborah Taj Anapol. — Of course, the sensations from each of these mini-orgasms may be less vivid than from one «full» one. But those who manage to achieve orgasm without ejaculation rarely return to the old way.