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Someone around you often makes fun of you, makes tactless remarks or makes rude jokes, and you are lost and cannot immediately come up with a good answer? Resourcefulness can be trained. Learn to counter verbal aggression with jokes and witty retorts.
A good, witty and biting response to rude attacks comes to your mind only after a while? Do not worry, next time you will be able to adequately repel the attack. Here are four exercises prepared for you by Yumi Fogler, coach, author of the Humor as a Strategy for Success trainings and the book Success Laughs.
Exercise 1: reflection of “killing” phrases
Since these phrases are platitudes that cannot be argued, they should not be answered seriously. Otherwise, you risk getting into a situation where you do not have enough evidence or have to take a defensive position, which means you will be the loser.
Examples
- “We have always done this!”;
- “It’s not practical”;
- “To do this, you will have to change people first”;
- “You are too young”;
- “I know this business very well. Nothing can be done about the established structures”;
- “But you can’t judge it”;
- “We have already tried this. And nothing came of it.”
Possible answers
- “Well, how did it happen at least once?”;
- “Oh, you must be a big enthusiast”;
- “That’s right, and now we’ll do it differently for once, otherwise it gets boring”;
- “Success scares you or am I wrong?”;
- “When I look at you, I see the ability to innovate, creativity and unconditional desire for change, and this will come in handy.”
Exercise 2: Judo Method
The task is not to bring down the other: to attack, you need to use the force of the opponent’s blow. Or even simpler: reproaches, false statements and insults are accepted unconditionally, without “if” and “but”. From this moment on, you forget about all attempts to justify yourself, but simply agree with the reproaches. True, with great exaggeration and with a share of humor.
Examples
- “Have you put on weight?”;
- “I think you drink too much!”
Possible answers
- “And how! Instead of a winter coat, I had to order a family tent. Looks great”;
- “I know! The vintners’ union claims that my orders account for 50% of their turnover. I am now their publicity face because of my red nose.”
Exercise 3: The Colombo Method
It was named after Commissioner Colombo from the famous TV series. You may remember that when unraveling cases, the detective always seemed a little silly. In conversation with opponents, and later with the victims of his forensic instinct, he admired their imaginary abilities and superiority. In other words, the Colombo method invites you to respond to verbal attacks with admiration. Ironic, of course.
Example
- Boss to employee: “If you can’t offer better solutions, then what have you forgotten in our company? You’re just a loser.”
Possible answer
- “I can still learn so much from you! The way you get to the heart of things and get straight to the point makes you the perfect leader. I am very, very happy that after such a long search, I finally found a role model for myself.”
Your turn
Now think of the insults and reproaches described as examples in the judo method with Colombo-style responses. It’s okay if you feel like you won’t be able to fight back like that with anyone. Still, don’t give up on your ideas. They may not really be suitable at the moment, but who knows when the right opportunity for a witty remark will arise. A good impromptu is a prepared impromptu.
Exercise 4: Gaga method
It’s about giving any answer without any connection in meaning. Say the first thing that comes to mind.
Example
- They grumble at you in the bus: “Move over, it’s impossible to get through.”
Possible answers
- “Who gets up early, God gives him”;
- “I wanted to be an astronaut as a child”;
- “Congratulations, you will have a boy”;
- “Don’t part with your loved ones!”
Your turn
Gaga-style answers seem very easy. In fact, it is not difficult to come up with them at the right time, because they have nothing to do with what was said to you. They emerge from the depths of the unconscious.
Try it! Remember your favorite sayings, proverbs, a collection of template phrases and jokes. You can practice with friends. By the way, good entertainment for an evening in a warm company.